Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

Secondly, saying "don't hit on women who come asking for funding or professional consolutation" in no way means "you can't date or hit on professional women".... you just can't do it TO THE WOMEN WHO ARE ASKING YOU FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP. You can flirt and do your thing if you meet a professional woman in a social situation, just not when you are interacting with them in a business context.

You can even date co-workers (I am married to a woman I met at work), but 1) you can't be in a position of power over them and 2) You have to be EXTREMELY careful in how you approach them. You do NOT start off with texts about sex or sexual things. You don't send anything sexual until you are way into your relationship. You would start with something like 'hey, would you like to grab a drink after work', and then if they say no, you stop IMMEDIATELY AND NEVER ASK AGAIN.

Ahh--if only this were ever true.

Because any of them that aren't used to avoiding all the risky behaviors, whether doing it intentionally (asking for dates) or unintentionally ("discriminatory language"), will now worry that they'll be hit with newspaper articles that can destroy their career. They'll be considered guilty until proven innocent by good chunk of America. Association with them will taint many other employers who won't hire them. A percentage of the claims will also be fake to try to boost some woman's time in the spotlight.

Interestingly, one woman here predicted image-conscious men would get a bit paranoid. I told her prediction was good since I've been hit with numerous false claims that were all disproven by witnesses by customers and coworkers alike. I'm blunt, never seeking popularity, and say controversial stuff (political moderate w/ flair for dark humor) that they felt would make me vulnerable with their great skill at manipulation, acting, gossip, and so on. Fortunately, each time I had at least one witness who was a white or black female (diverse team pays off) backing me up that I didn't say/do whatever they claimed with others (including semi-opponents) saying they agreed that basically I don't hurt workers or treat them unfairly.

Due to the risk, I naturally didn't try to get a date with anyone when I was in leadership positions... despite much, much temptation since they were impressive inside & out. Later, I doubled down on that when false claims came in by people wanting to replace me as lead, get discounted product from me to benefit them, get better service(s) than other customers at a loss, attempt lawsuits against the company hoping for settlements (they never tried haha), get me fired for alleged mistreatment of customers, and so on. This shit happened to me so much that, as the HN commenter predicted, I started avoiding women or anything like those making the false claims (occasionally men) as much as possible unless professionally expected to deal with them and always on camera. I'd treat them [visibly and audibly] exactly like everyone else. I even considered wearing a recorder on me all day at work in case they (again) tried to make something look bad on camera reporting different words than actually exchanged. My female boss was too smart for that, though, blocking that individual's actions.

So, this shit happens whenever the aggressive, scheming women (or men) see a way to get more for themselves at some seemingly-vulnerable man's (or woman's) expense. The possibility with its consequences should be considered. At least acknowledged if we're calling side-effects of reporting a necessary evil. It's happened to me personally numerous times since a PTSD-afflicted individual looks weak or nervous much of the time: a magnet for attackers. Oh well. What doesn't kill you makes you (stronger/stranger?). ;)

One thing that does define a difference between SV and at least Wall Street is that fast growth startups tend not to have put proper HR processes in place fast enough, which can create an environment in which harassment is easier.