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Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

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Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#61

Post by dualogy »

Lazare wrote: post #25

Eh, sure, I guess, kinda? However, the article presents the situation as being: 1) very positive for women and 2) very negative for men. In reality, neither is entirely true. As many, many women will tell you, the unrelenting torrent of creepy messages and dick picks is by no means an unmitigated positive. Yes, you can just open your inbox and find it full, but mostly it's full of utter crap, which actively drowns ou…

> not being massaged out of the blue is survivable

I can confirm this is true.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#62

Post by epx »

I found my wife in a chat that was mostly used for dating. I won her because I was the only guy in the virtual room that did not start the conversation in the line "nice shoes, wanna fuck?".

Yes, online dating may be a bad experience for average-looking guys, but sometimes it is so easy to stand out.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#63

Post by ThrustVectoring »

Reading up on market design made me realize:

A) Tinder et al should probably be some sort of "sort the people you're interested in and run Gale-Shapley to figure out who you're meeting with on Friday Night"

B) The actual design of the app hardly matters for success, only your ability to market it and get people to adopt it. Oh, and I don't have any advantage here, so the entire thing is a mess not worth fixing.

I miiight have an out by making the Gale-Shapley version of Tinder, writing a bunch of content marketing aimed at programmers/nerds, aggressively promoting it at meetups. That only really gets the male side of the matching market, which means I'd want funding and a marketing position for women-who-are-into-nerds.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#64

Post by inlined »

I don't understand some of this advice like "keep your profile short. You'll offend someone and miss out on a date."

Unless you're just looking for hookups, the goal isn't dating, it's long term matching. I probably have gone on dates with 1 in 20 matches and aside from my ego, I'd be better off being more selective.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#65

Post by cgb223 »

lumberjack wrote: post #28
autokad wrote: post #3

when i was young, my female friends would say just be yourself, happy, etc and someone will just come along. i did that, failed, and i said why did it go so wrong? then i considered their world view, and i face palmed myself. same thing happens, women say try online dating, its so easy! my response rate (let alone something that leads to a rl meeting) is about 1/50. not worth it. i wonder if online dating will become…

Don't bother with online dating. First of all the quality of women is much lower than any you'd meet IRL. Secondly, they purposefully set absurdly high standards. Thirdly, if physical looks aren't your strong point, you cannot really make a good impression because that is what they are going to be judging you on. What you write in your profile is close to useless If you have trouble finding women, move to a big city…

As someone who just moved to a big city and has been waiting for an excuse to ditch Tinder, what activities or events would you recommend to do to meet people?

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#66

Post by cobookman »

paulcole wrote: post #26

I'm a man and in my late 20's (currently mid-30's and been with my partner for a few years now) had a great time using OKCupid. I was able to average 2-3 dates per week and received replies to ~25% of my messages. Before anyone asks, I am average appearance. I don't drive (bicycle only). Things I had going in my favor: I'm white, had a flexible job (could meet whenever) and vegan diet (probably the biggest help as ve…

+1 While living in a 55+ coop. All of us polled together a list of what opening statements lead to a date on various chatting apps. The #1 opening statement was, "You look like trouble...". The #2 was, "Backstreet boys or Nsyc".

Turns out blasting a simple message to as many girls as possible is the best way of online dating.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#67

Post by louprado »

russellbeattie wrote: post #16

Someone needs to combine Vine with Tinder. A 2 second video of you saying hello, and you can only record via the app. This wouldn't change the general imbalance of dating, but it would help narrow down choices really quickly and maybe clear the backlog for women a bit.

Great idea... or maybe I think that because I'm a photo 5 but a video 7.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#68

Post by caf »

charles-salvia wrote: post #12

How is this different from the default state of Western culture for the past century? Despite many positive social changes towards more equal opportunities for women, socially speaking, Western culture is still very traditional in terms of the common expectations surrounding the "courtship" dynamic between a man and a woman. The man is still expected to initiate and drive the interaction, while the woman is expected…

How is this different from the default state of Western culture for the past century?

It's not, but the author is considering how her actions have hitherto been perpetuating this state.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#69

Post by [deleted] »

charles-salvia wrote: post #12

How is this different from the default state of Western culture for the past century? Despite many positive social changes towards more equal opportunities for women, socially speaking, Western culture is still very traditional in terms of the common expectations surrounding the "courtship" dynamic between a man and a woman. The man is still expected to initiate and drive the interaction, while the woman is expected…

[deleted]

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#70

Post by nether »

dbg31415 wrote: post #44
nether wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But shirtless selfies work, if you have muscles. And copy-pasting messages also garner responses that lead to successful exchanges, that's why OkCupid chose not to ban them. How tall are you and what is your race? Those two metrics are greatest determinants of how many messages you receive as a man.

I didn't use OK Cupid... I thought it was just for hookups. I'm old though, we had Match and eHarmony 5-10 years ago.

OkC was around ten years ago. I'm 31.
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