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Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

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Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#31

Post by tracker1 »

dbg31415 wrote: post #17

I don't really agree with this article. I gave up on online dating a few years back, but as a guy I don't think it was all that bad. Someone said 1/50... I think it was closer to 1/5 women would respond. And look... if they don't respond, that's fine... it's nothing personal at that point. Women have to sift through the messages very quickly. Anyway my advice for making it not suck so much for guys: 1) Find a girl fr…

My responses were generally about 1 in 15. but the rest is generally good advice... that said, I can pick out my own clothes... some things I just like more than others... I was an artist/designer before a programmer, though it was a long time ago.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#33

Post by overcast »

peteretep wrote: post #15
Thriptic wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would venture to guess that many "higher quality" women have less trouble finding partners irl. They don't need to use online dating.

> women have less trouble finding > partners irl Sexual partners? No trouble at all. Life partners? Much trickier. Men have the sexual discernment of rabbits, but are pretty choosy about who they're willing to actually commit to. There's a non-trivial proportion of men who are only in their current relationships for easy access to sex. Men complain to their friends about not being able to get laid, women complain to…

fyi. There is no such thing as guys, and girls being friends. I know women think they have guy friends, but those are just guys that want to have sex with them. Consider this next time a female questions this line of thought. Would their best guy friend turn them down for sex, with the response of "I don't want to ruin our friendship", of course not.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#34

Post by pavel_lishin »

russellbeattie wrote: post #16

Someone needs to combine Vine with Tinder. A 2 second video of you saying hello, and you can only record via the app. This wouldn't change the general imbalance of dating, but it would help narrow down choices really quickly and maybe clear the backlog for women a bit.

Serious question: how do you solve the "oh, that's a penis" problem?

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#35

Post by muninn_ »

ThrustVectoring wrote: post #30
muninn_ wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nah. The issue is that women generally have higher perceived self worth than men do in this regard, and so are more selective.

I think it's more general than that: everyone has higher perceived self worth than they actually have. And so the response rate sucks in general, since everyone's going after folks outside their league and never settling for what's actually reasonable for both parties.

Some truth to that, but in general women are more selective than men. Men have a much higher range in terms of IQ, attractiveness, personality, etc... than do women who tend to fall toward a median.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#37

Post by nether »

dbg31415 wrote: post #17

I don't really agree with this article. I gave up on online dating a few years back, but as a guy I don't think it was all that bad. Someone said 1/50... I think it was closer to 1/5 women would respond. And look... if they don't respond, that's fine... it's nothing personal at that point. Women have to sift through the messages very quickly. Anyway my advice for making it not suck so much for guys: 1) Find a girl fr…

But shirtless selfies work, if you have muscles. And copy-pasting messages also garner responses that lead to successful exchanges, that's why OkCupid chose not to ban them.

How tall are you and what is your race? Those two metrics are greatest determinants of how many messages you receive as a man.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#38

Post by pavel_lishin »

xor1 wrote: post #20

Didn't even realize this article was 4 years old until I started reading the comments. Dating apps are the ultimate hunting ground for individuals with borderline personality disorder. They provide an endless supply of one-night-stands and no-strings-attached sex, as well as playthings and victims when short-term and long-term relationships are desired.

Wait, it's impossible to enjoy one-night-stands and short-term relationships without having BPD?

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#40

Post by taneq »

pavel_lishin wrote: post #34
russellbeattie wrote: post #16

Someone needs to combine Vine with Tinder. A 2 second video of you saying hello, and you can only record via the app. This wouldn't change the general imbalance of dating, but it would help narrow down choices really quickly and maybe clear the backlog for women a bit.

Serious question: how do you solve the "oh, that's a penis" problem?

Deep learning with a crowdsourced dataset based on 'report penis' button (cross-referenced across a bunch of accounts and filtered to remove false positives from people who click 'that's a penis' on every profile out of spite.)
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