I don't do much public-facing stuff, but anything that goes to increasing my professional skills (technical or otherwise) happens during business hours. Generally it's 20-30 minutes of personal development time per day. That's part of what the company is paying me to do: become a better employee for them.
Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
371–380 of 530 posts
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#372One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…
I really like the spirit of this comment, but I can only imagine feeling like that if I was either very confident in my skills or had some serious FU money in the bank. I work for a big international company that is gradually sinking, and continually laying people off and replacing them with offshore staff. I'm sure I'm not alone among HN readers. I have no idea how much longer I'll have a job for, or whether there w…
Just the fact that you keep up with the stuff on this board means you probably already know, and always will know, more than most of the people in this field--even if you quit cold-turkey--because outside of the SV bubble, most tech workers are really only experts at coffee, Slack, meetings, and the art of looking busy.
I think this is more about your frame of mind. Without a wife or kids, you are in a fantastic position to establish leverage, wherever you may be. One mistake I made in my early career was trying to stay on top of the tech and credentials. After running my own business for a few years, it became very clear that things like empathy, physical dominance, patterns of speech, grooming, and basic manners are far more powerful when it comes to getting what you want.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#373All the responses here indicate the same "la dee da having kids is so wonderful that you don't even miss the other stuff." Fuck that. I have kids and I totally miss being able to stay up all night working on stuff and exploring new technologies, feeling like the world is going on without me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a passable dad, spend as much time with kids as possible, take them out to libraries and parks and try…
I think a lot of people can sympathize, but as you said, it's kinda taboo to say you wish you didn't have kids! I think you get the same feeling, a loss of freedoms, from any significant evolution in life. Leaving college: "I wish I could still go out drinking every other day and perform the best in my peer-circle" Getting to a more serious romantic stage in your relationship: "I wish I could still play video games a…
> it's kinda taboo to say you wish you didn't have kids! I think you get the same feeling, a loss of freedoms, from any significant evolution in life.
I think any society that has thrived has had some variation of this cultural trait. Its easy to see why: without lots of children the society would simply die out.
This is a very nuanced point though. As a young, somewhat single developer, I'm incredibly grateful to work a job that I enjoy that pays great. Love the freedom to go on vacation anywhere, to afford nice restaurants and such. I can't see why I would give up all that freedom to "settle down" as my parents keep reminding me of. Although I've had many great relationships, at some point, its always: "I just want to not have to plan out every weekend together!".
Perhaps I'm an outlier that just puts way too much emphasis on independence.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#374Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think a lot of people can sympathize, but as you said, it's kinda taboo to say you wish you didn't have kids! I think you get the same feeling, a loss of freedoms, from any significant evolution in life. Leaving college: "I wish I could still go out drinking every other day and perform the best in my peer-circle" Getting to a more serious romantic stage in your relationship: "I wish I could still play video games a…
Nailed it. Perspective is what it's about. Your kids won't be the same in a few years, neither will you and nor the world. Take care of your health while doing all that you do and you'll get back to doing the other things that you miss doing or would love to do. It won't kill you, or your career, if you miss out on a shitty framework or two.
> It won't kill you, or your career, if you miss out on a shitty framework or two.
How about: if you miss on most weekends, music festivals, backpacking through different countries, working whenever you want, getting a drink whenever you want....and that is only your personal freedoms. Add to that all the responsibilities that comes with parenting.
I'm not saying its not a good idea to be a parent; simply that its not just "missing out on a framework". You miss out on a lot of things...and you should be aware of that before making that decision.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#375When they get older, and you aren't sleep-deprived and angry all the time, you can still stay up all night and code.
But yes I concede the first few years, will change you.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#376I come to office early (6:30 to 7) and leave early.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#377(I've a 6 year-old son, and I've been in software development for more than 20 years). As a general principle, it's all about "priorities", and "how bad you want it?". Most of us have time for things other than work and family (unless, of course, you're a single parent trying to juggle 2 jobs, etc.) Instead of listening to music during commute, one can listen to professional podcasts or talks (youtube to mp3 is great…
I agree that it's all about priorities and being mindful about when I drift away from doing things I prioritize.
I'd add that kids have taught me to be a better planner, and to break my priorities down into small, well defined chunks that can be slotted into a busy life. This has been valuable in general, not just for programming.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#378I should caveat that I'm not a professional developer (I code things occasionally during the day for work, but my job isn't to make things with code). It's something that I enjoy learning & making small projects with, but for the most part, it's a thing I mostly/only do outside of work/during personal time.
I usually work on things after my son goes to bed and spend anywhere between 2-4 hours depending on the day. My wife takes him to a class on Saturday mornings and is gone for about 2 hours so I use that time. My work ethic definitely ebbs and flows, and I definitely wish I could do more, but I also have a rule for myself to not have a laptop out when he's awake/home.
My son was born 9 weeks early and had to spend a fair amount of time in the hospital after he was born. During the time my son was in the hospital, I took on a freelance project that required a fair amount of front end work and frankly I was in over my head. After the first week of this project, my son came home and I was trying to juggle a newborn, a full time job and a pretty significant freelance project that I wasn't totally qualified to do. I got fired from my freelance project after about two months when it became clear that I didn't have the time or skills to do the job. Looking back, I have no idea how I did it.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#379Earlier quoted context omitted.
This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…
OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…
I occasionally have my 1 year old with me on calls. Besides the occasional burbling, the only issue is that she occasionally farts or burps and then cackles loudly to herself. I wouldn't have her with me on large calls, generally only on 1-on-1 calls.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#380All the responses here indicate the same "la dee da having kids is so wonderful that you don't even miss the other stuff." Fuck that. I have kids and I totally miss being able to stay up all night working on stuff and exploring new technologies, feeling like the world is going on without me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a passable dad, spend as much time with kids as possible, take them out to libraries and parks and try…
I have two daughters, 7 and 8. Both have clinically diagnosed ADHD and the eldest has ODD and was born with heart problems that required open heart surgery to fix. I love them both to death. On their good days they're amazing kids. On their bad days, I, like you just slog through it and keep my thoughts to myself wondering just how much longer I can keep going. It's hard. You don't want to ruin your kids by admitting…
This is so well said, thank you. My own kids have their moments of driving me up the wall (every bedtime, where "brush your teeth" seems to be in a foreign language), but there are very very few things that feel even remotely as good as your kids giving you a hug when you (or they) need it.