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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#301

Post by danellis »

tonyedgecombe wrote: post #275
bshimmin wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

>>Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? The fact some people think like that is what dismays me with the corporate world, I'm glad I got out and I'm never going back. Thanks for reminding me.

It doesn't seem that uncommon for companies to recognize the importance of families, although perhaps it's more common in those with more older employees.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#302

Post by eduren »

pmarreck wrote: post #281
paulcole wrote: post #278

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Why do parents think popping out a kid gives them some mystical wisdom? Maybe it just gives you one thing to focus all you energy on and suddenly that feels really important?

Why do you think your opinion has any chance of validity on this matter unless you have existed both without and with a kid? This is like people bashing Apple without having ever used an Apple product, or who have merely played with the neighbor's Apple product

Wait, they don't have a right to an opinion? I mean, sure, call them wrong, but to say they're not allowed to express a thought?

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#303

Post by notburnt »

eduren wrote: post #302
pmarreck wrote: post #281

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you think your opinion has any chance of validity on this matter unless you have existed both without and with a kid? This is like people bashing Apple without having ever used an Apple product, or who have merely played with the neighbor's Apple product

Wait, they don't have a right to an opinion? I mean, sure, call them wrong, but to say they're not allowed to express a thought?

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but that doesn't mean unfounded opinion has to be respected or borne just because.

Too many things people say are "just because I think so" without much thinking going into why or how they came to that conclusion. So, maybe calling out baselessly opinionated people is ok?

As an aside, seems like the response was in the same tone as the parent's comment.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#304

Post by kps1ny »

It should not have to be a choice between kids and what you enjoy. Incorporate children into your favorite activities so that you can enjoy time with them while doing what you love. If you want kids and green boxes, work on projects related to kids and teach them how to do it at the same time.

For example, perhaps there's a project related to a tool that helps kids learn to code. Contribute to it, and then have them use that tool and see how your work made it better. Maybe your contribution was a result of their idea for improving the product when they found it wanting.

If your kids are not yet old enough to speak or code, you can still work on projects that they might use sooner rather than later.

It's always a matter or priorities in any case. Doing away with TV is one way to gain a lot of time that will let you enjoy both kids and coding.

-Ken (father of 8yo and 11yo daughters who enjoy World of Warcraft and coding :-)

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#305

Post by sigspec »

I don't. :)

But really I utilize work downtime when I can (and when I'm not distracted by HN or YouTube or Reddit, which is often).

It's a challenge but I would feel terrible isolating myself while the wife and kids are doing family things. After the kids and wife go to bed then I have plenty of time to do what I want whether that be research or leisure.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#306

Post by thatwebdude »

fiatjaf wrote: post #261

The solution I see parents of all kinds using is to dump your kid into a school.

"dump" is such a wrong word. But okay, I'll bite.

When my first child was born, I had the "pleasure" of staying home with her most of the day, while I got to learn programming.

Fast forward a few years and boom! Mom and I have totally immersive careers requiring 8+ hours a day from us. (Every weekday, even! Sometimes more!).

In fact, mom is just as much of the breadwinner as I am (more even), so who's gonna watch the kids? We had kids in our twenties, our parents had kids in their twenties (read: not retired babysitters), everyone has their own thing going on. And they all make it work.

We make it work by sending our kids to the most amazing school/daycare system I've ever seen. It's so professional you wouldn't believe it. Their teachers are much better school teachers than we would be.

It's great because they get to learn how to socialize, their immune systems get a proper boost before K-12, they learn new hobbies and advance in programs I couldn't have dreamed of when I was kid. The intelligence level of my 4-year old is quite astounding to me, and I have the entirety of her school to thank.

It's hardly dumping them there. But if it is, that's a really fucking expensive dump.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#307

Post by dep_b »

In my spare time I make sure I take enough AFK time anyway. With >60 hours weeks I don't really feel like doing stuff for fun or interest on a computer.

However I do learn on the job and I do keep a list of tabs open to read while compiling/uploading/drinking a coffee/to be honest just slacking off. So when I see a new problem I do not only have a set of tools that I already used and know but I also have a bunch of potential tools I could use.

I never used Mongo or any non-relational DB yet. But I'm ready to use it as soon as I see that one of the problems I'm solving requires one of the many benefits these kind of databases have. I don't need a pet project for that.

For example I tried F# for a small Windows service with a WebSocket for a customer because I knew it would be a very good pick for an application that mainly manages data flows.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#308

Post by firewalkwithme »

bshimmin wrote: post #177
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

You are not alone. I find this disrespectful and very irritating. Probably depends on the tempo of your workplace. I am dodging meetings all day long, and when I join one I expect everyone to be prepared and fully focused

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#309

Post by simonswords82 »

caseysoftware wrote: post #266
bshimmin wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

My two year old is super chill and rarely makes a sound. If he does, I give him a clicky pen and he's set for another 5-10 minutes. If I open a cartoon on Youtube (muted), it buys me another 5-10 minutes. I get your concern but it's a non-issue here. Edit: Thinking more about this.. If my team was deeply offended by this, I don't want to work there. My boys are important to me and if they're not willing to accept tha…

Your boys will feel fucked up and unloved because you don't invite them on to your teleconferences?

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#310

Post by shoefly »

I don't know how they do it unless their partner is doing all of the parenting. I used to work crazy hours until our kid arrived. Now, I work 10 hours or less per day. My kid doesn't sleep, so this compounds the problem. He never goes to sleep until 10:30 pm, and always wakes up before the rest of us. He is young, though, and every year gets a little easier. I'm more productive this year than I was last year.
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