The solution I see parents of all kinds using is to dump your kid into a school.
Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
261–270 of 530 posts
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#262Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Consider letting off-time be off-time and getting yourself a better job :)" - Those two conflict. Most jobs want the next buzzwords in the job description, which you aren't learning in the current job.
Most jobs? I work for the uk office of a finance company, on a contract basis, on target to pull in roughly six figures* this year. My CV consists of C in the main, with a little C++11 and a smattering of right-up-to-date javascript and python. "Most jobs" seems like a bit of an overstatement. (*for Americans, the UK market does not pay like the US market, rates of pay here are generally awful in comparison to the US…
C/C++ developers are relativity rare. So most people would have to learn that.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#263I've thought long and hard about this very question as I often wondered how I'd maintain my skills when my kid was born. I remember reading the Preface of some technical book where the author said he's glad he never had kids because he would always be afraid that in a competition for his time, "the computer would always win." I feel that way sometimes, I just want to study, learn, write code, because I love this field and having a family doesn't mean my interest in computing has died.
But we have to ask why this attitude is endemic to tech and not to other fields. You don't see surgeons or investment bankers asking their peers in forums, "how do you skill up" after having kids! So why do we feel like in tech we must sacrifice everything else that makes us human just to keep our nose to the grindstone?
I wrote two blog posts that echo this dilemma. [1] "Don't call me a '5:01er'" where I attack the unfair portrayal of people with kids as being less committed to their jobs, and [2] "Why can't a CEO be a family man?" about how our entire civilization seems to have its priorities bass-ackwards.
For me the critical turning point in my perspective came one day as I gazed down at my son on his changing table. I looked at him lying there helpless and it made me think of how I said goodbye to my father, looking down as he lay in the casket. Then I realized that one day the tables would literally be turned as this very same helpless creature would be looking down at my lifeless body to say goodbye. And then I knew that the rest of my life was merely the prelude to that very moment. It taught me that I want to be the kind of man who my son will miss when I'm gone. I'm not going to get to that point by stressing out about my github contributions.
[1]: http://czep.net/15/dont-call-me-a-501er.html [2]: http://czep.net/15/ceo-family-man.html
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#264I have kids, I have open source code - you make time for things you're passionate about. If your buddy doesn't have open source stuff it's all good, but his hand-wavy "you don't have kids" argument is bull.
To keep up I:
- Write open source projects for things I want to use. - Use languages that are out of my depth. - Pluralsight - Manning/PragProg books that interest me.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#265Earlier quoted context omitted.
OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…
The reality of many people who work from home is that this is the case anyway - the children are around and make some noise, because they live. Making this transparent and show who the kid is I think makes it actually easier for the other people in the call to feel empathy. If that is unprofessional, then so is working from home, I guess.
I agree they make some noise, but having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. If you have kids in the house then you need an office with a door. I've worked from home for 3 years now with 2 kids aged 0-5 and they understand that when the door is closed, Dad is at work and they don't come in.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#266Earlier quoted context omitted.
This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…
OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…
My two year old is super chill and rarely makes a sound. If he does, I give him a clicky pen and he's set for another 5-10 minutes. If I open a cartoon on Youtube (muted), it buys me another 5-10 minutes.
I get your concern but it's a non-issue here.
Edit: Thinking more about this.. If my team was deeply offended by this, I don't want to work there. My boys are important to me and if they're not willing to accept that, I'd rather find a new job than raise f-d up boys that don't feel loved.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#267One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…
On that bell curve of technology, where the far left is "bleeding edge" and the far right is "obsolete", you'll move a bit toward the right. But if you're already bleeding edge, then you'll just move toward "new and productive". So really you'll probably end up being more valuable as an engineer. "Bleeding edge" is really more about playing than about getting stuff done anyway.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#268Kids have a great property, they have a bed time. I structure my day so that I come home from work at the same time every day and spend time with the family. My skill building happens when they go to sleep. You can get a good 2-3 hours in a day this way if you need to.
This. Although how dedicated you want to be with this is up to you, e.g. you didn't mention this, but I assume your relationship with your spouse is important as well. This is what works for me for my relationship with my kids as well as my wife: - Evenings after work is family time. Focusing on kids if necessary. - Wednesday evening after kids go to bed, as well as early Saturday morning, is skill building time for…
I've been battling with this exact sentiment. I want to spend time skill-building, but my wife is a definite priority.
You're right, 3 hours on Wednesday, and getting up early on a Saturday morning is plenty of time to learn something new, or apply the skills you have to a side-project.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#269You've got confirmation bias. The people you read about were likely all great coders/writers before having kids, and their livelihood now depends somewhat on those activities. For the vast majority of us, githubbing and blogging are enjoyable but not necessary activities. When we have kids, yes there's not so many green boxes. If you haven't written books already, now is probably not the time you're going to start. That's not to say there's no free time, just not as much.
Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?
#270When I had newborns if I had to take work home with me or stay late it would increase the stress on my wife to take care of the kids. So even if I was a little sleep deprived I went into work with a "I have eight hours to get this crap done" attitude that really pushed up my productivity levels.
As far as skilling up there is more to developing skills than just pushing code to GitHub. I found that it's easier to read a Kindle one handed (holding a baby with the other) so I started buying books about some of the more theoretical aspects of computer science that don't always seem to go with my day to day coding job. I have had many "light bulb" moments doing that by either being reminded of things I had learned in school or learning something new about how things work.