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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#291

Post by thatwebdude »

losteverything wrote: post #250

For me, I skilled down. I always told the people I supported, "You only get one chance to rear your child." And now decades after first birth I can easily say "there is nothing _more_ important than than your children" I'm not in tech any longer because of my actual ambivalence of technology. I was naturally good at it but hated the chase to keep up. If you compare the outcome of effort in keeping up in tech to the e…

Oh my God, are you my future?!?!?!?!?

Quit two great jobs because they didn't value my value of children.

Programming came easy to me, never learned it anywhere but by myself - out of necessity with a new family.

Now that I'm in a better position, I'm already planning my next career pivot; away from cogs and trinkets and into an even better schedule, as well as my real interest which I was too foolish to finish in school the first time.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#292

Post by awinder »

bshimmin wrote: post #177
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

I've seen much bigger disasters during conference calls than someone having a kid with them. Usually from people paid a good deal of money.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#293

Post by JackFr »

QuantumGravy wrote: post #283
randlet wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree they make some noise, but having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. If you have kids in the house then you need an office with a door. I've worked from home for 3 years now with 2 kids aged 0-5 and they understand that when the door is closed, Dad is at work and they don't come in.

In my experience, no, kids that young do not understand that. Furthermore, if you have the door closed for the length of a conference call with a child that young, I'd expect there to be another adult (or responsible elder sibling) there in the first place, such that the burden of not bothering you was never on the child. If that can't be arranged, you reschedule the call.

If you have 2 children 0-5 with you all day, and no other responsible adult around, you are not working from home. You are getting some work done while you watch your kids.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#294

Post by JackFr »

lucaspiller wrote: post #202
krisgenre wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree it might be unprofessional but I would totally love to work with a team that doesn't find this annoying.

One of my colleagues has a large dog who is often asleep, snoring, during conference calls :-)

Yeah -- I blame it on the dog too.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#295

Post by sebringj »

I am more productive now than ever and I have 3 kids. I would attribute this to breadth and depth of skill, always learning new things and of course, working remotely as a consultant which gives me huge amounts of time and energy that other car-bound people simply don't have AND the biggest one is I have an amazing wife who stays at home with me and let's me focus on my work. Maybe that is rare so maybe the guy had a point for the majority?

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#296

Post by thatwebdude »

jaxn wrote: post #39

I am a father of 6. I could be a better father. I could be a better programmer. I'm doing a good job of both. It is a full life. 6 hours of focused work is more than most people get done in a day. You want to be a great dad and a great programmer? Cut out Hacker News ;) edit: I guess we are listing ages. 15, 14, 12, 11, 10, 7.

Add all aspects of social media to that, as well.

Congrats on maintaining six! I can appreciate what you're doing.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#298

Post by pmarreck »

ceautery wrote: post #181
knorker wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So what you're saying is "you don't. People with children will not be as good". Great. That means I should not feel bad about any hypothetical statistics that show parents paid less than non-parents. You're saying parents are, on average, statistically, not as useful as non-parents to a company.

What kind of trolling nonsense is this? The senior engineers I know all have spouses and children, and our employers find us quite desirable to have around. If you're focusing on learning each new whizbang whatsit that comes out, you'll never learn how to lead a team. You'll teach your employer that you can be abused, because you are desperate to impress them. Giving up a family to stay ahead will leave you a lonely,…

> Giving up a family to stay ahead will leave you a lonely, burned out mess.

False dichotomy fallacy. There's plenty of programmers I admire who aren't apparently parents. And there's happiness studies which show neither a positive nor a negative gain when parenthood arrives.

Curious footnote: I tried to google further studies that creativity goes down once fatherhood strikes (which I have read in the past), and instead found this piece: https://onbeing.org/blog/becoming-a-father-restored-my-creat...

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#299

Post by gdubs »

Well, GitHub's green boxes are probably not a great metric for how much one is learning. (And really I think the sign of enlightenment is red boxes, but I digress.)

You will probably have the realization post-kids that you had obscene amounts of spare time in your youth.

But it's ok because having kids can really focus you. And it's amazing what your mind is capable of when you're focused.

Time box distractions and be clear with yourself what your goals are. Steady progress towards them can be really effective. Even 30 minutes a day of total focus towards a larger goal will over time pay dividends.

But, maybe most importantly: sleep. You're likely to get sleep deprived, and learning anything requires sleep and lots of it. There's always tomorrow.

If you're asking because you're expecting, congrats!

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#300

Post by thatwebdude »

zwischenzug wrote: post #134

My kids are 9 and 10. About 5 years ago I read 'Getting Things Done' and (despite my misgivings) it literally changed my life. Since then I've: - set up a JIRA to track ALL the things I work on - written a book https://www.amazon.com/Docker-Practice-Ian-Miell/dp/16172927... (and am currently writing a second edition) - started a blog https://zwischenzugs.wordpress.com/ - changed jobs - become a speaker https://www.yo…

I didn't read GTD, but I liked the philosophy when it became popular.

Just came here to say that time management is key. When we had our first child, I learned this sink-or-swim style and it made me a much better human being because of it.

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