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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#221

Post by esw »

skrebbel wrote: post #98

This thread is slowly filling up with stories of enthusiastic workaholic parents who are disciplined and fit enough to take every single 15 minute break to sit down and get some code out. If you're able to code up a blog engine with one hand while holding your baby in the other, I envy you. I wish I could muster up the energy and discipline to do something like that. But to other readers: for many people this is not…

I'll just add that even if you are able to perform superhuman feats of parenting and coding simultaneously, you will eventually get burned out. I was able to handle both for quite some time, and I've now stretched myself so thin that I don't feel like I'm doing either thing particularly well.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#222

Post by sonabinu »

fatherofone wrote: post #49
sonabinu wrote: post #5

Cut down on TV. Wake up super early on Saturdays and get about 3 hrs of skill building time. Occasionally take a day off work to do a straight 8 hr skill session for self. Find a friend at work to do a class with and make a plan with your significant other for one hr a week to dedicate to the class. You and your friend can keep each other motivated! I feel this is a super important question. I've published it on Link…

doesn't look like a valid link !

Sorry! I think I goofed up https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/developers-kids-how-do-you-sk...

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#223

Post by mafro »

manyxcxi wrote: post #18
mempko wrote: post #7

Kids have a great property, they have a bed time. I structure my day so that I come home from work at the same time every day and spend time with the family. My skill building happens when they go to sleep. You can get a good 2-3 hours in a day this way if you need to.

I was lucky in that my natural schedule allows a lot of quiet thinking time without having to short shrift the family time or time with the wife. I'm up by 430 every morning and in my office by 6, with gym time before I get in. I get a good 2-4 hours of 'me' time every single work day for learning or exploring- and it's also my most creative time of day. The gym lifts the early morning head fog and I get a lot of stu…

Where does time with the wife fit into your schedule? Presumably you must go bed quite early to rise at 0430 everyday.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#224

Post by phereford »

There is no one answer here as every family structure is different. Like most other comments here, my 2 (5yo, 22months) children have first dibs on my time while I am not on the clock or am not dealing with a production issue off hours. Once they go to bed (sometime between 7:30-8:30pm), I determine if I have enough in the tank for either: 1) Learning 2) Spending time with my wife (second dibs on my time).

In order to "stay relevant", I have found this to work for me: 1) During my passive commutes (every morning and afternoon), I have a solid 30 minutes of either listening to a podcast if I don't get a seat or toying around with new languages/frameworks otherwise. 2) Convince your current company that it is in their best interest to bake learning into your current job.

Obviously (2) can be quite difficult, but it starts a conversation you want to have anyway about making sure the entire team stays relevant and fresh. Most people always point to Google's innovation time as a good measure of how this should be done.

Having children has absolutely changed my priorities around and put an increasing value on my time. For me, I would much rather forgo learning the new JS flavor of the week in favor of spending as much time as possible with my growing children.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#225

Post by elcapitan »

bshimmin wrote: post #177
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

The reality of many people who work from home is that this is the case anyway - the children are around and make some noise, because they live. Making this transparent and show who the kid is I think makes it actually easier for the other people in the call to feel empathy.

If that is unprofessional, then so is working from home, I guess.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#226

Post by J-dawg »

jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

I really like the spirit of this comment, but I can only imagine feeling like that if I was either very confident in my skills or had some serious FU money in the bank.

I work for a big international company that is gradually sinking, and continually laying people off and replacing them with offshore staff. I'm sure I'm not alone among HN readers. I have no idea how much longer I'll have a job for, or whether there will be other opportunities when I finally lose mine.

I have no kids and nobody else depending on me, but still have massive anxiety about being able to provide for myself and remain employed in the future. All recent trends seem to point towards jobs becoming less secure and more globalised.

It's great to be aware of the important things in life, but I can't think of many more depressing scenarios than having children depending on me and no idea how to provide for them.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#227

Post by problems »

bshimmin wrote: post #177
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

It might be unprofessional, but I'd laugh and roll with it even as someone without kids. Especially for internal calls within your team, probably not a bad thing to do - you want to have a fairly relaxed relationship with them generally, so this kind of stuff is expected and perfectly fine as long as it doesn't get in the way of work too much.

With clients, I can definitely see it being a bigger problem.

Maybe this is just evidence that a lot of people I work with just aren't developers because they love development that much - they like it enough and it pays enough to get the things they want in the rest of their time and there's nothing wrong with that.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#228

Post by majkinetor »

jwr wrote: post #99
skrebbel wrote: post #98

This thread is slowly filling up with stories of enthusiastic workaholic parents who are disciplined and fit enough to take every single 15 minute break to sit down and get some code out. If you're able to code up a blog engine with one hand while holding your baby in the other, I envy you. I wish I could muster up the energy and discipline to do something like that. But to other readers: for many people this is not…

Totally agreed. I find it impossible to work in the afternoons/evenings, because even if you find a moment, it's too hard to concentrate and do meaningful (e.g. hard) stuff. Make the best of your work hours. The idea of a boring job "for money" and fun/learning stuff afterwards is outdated. Don't waste your life on a boring job. Work time should be when you do fascinating stuff and learn.

That is totally unrealistic.

No job will fit your interest 100% unless you are lucky bastard. Boring jobs are the rule. The point is to make boring stuff less borring.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#229

Post by leonroy »

mahyarm wrote: post #119
microtonal wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At first, it will be hard. You may not have any spare time. After the newborn phase, the amount of spare time you have will slowly start to go back up again. Interesting... My experience has been the opposite, the first ~6 months they sleep so much that there is plenty of time to do things. Then you get a phase where they start to crawl and then walk around. In that phase, you have to be attentive all the time to ens…

There are various phases that I've observed: 1. They can't move stage. Depending on their sleep schedule, this is easy, or it's still tiring. 2. They can move. They still have the baby sleep schedule. No sleep, no time. 3. They have a normal sleep schedule. You can sleep. 4. They can play with other kids. A chance to save time, if you can use it! 5. They go school. You have time. 6. They are teenagers. You wish they…

> 2. They can move. They still have the baby sleep schedule. No sleep, no time.

Phew, this list resonates. Never thought the time would come that my wife and I would get an uninterrupted night's sleep but sure enough time passes and we're at point 3.

Alas points 6 onwards are in the back of my mind. Tough balancing work and family but it's also such wonderful fun.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#230

Post by quantumhobbit »

krisgenre wrote: post #184
bshimmin wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

I agree it might be unprofessional but I would totally love to work with a team that doesn't find this annoying.

I had a video call interview recently and my interviewer was being attacked by his new puppy during the call. Although distracting it made me want to work there.
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