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CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

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Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#241

Post by ptaipale »

It is 1985. Vladimir wants a car. A Lada. He submits the application to purchase one, and when it is processed, he collects the documents at the office. The clerk says: "You are now in the queue. Your Lada will be delivered on February 7, 2017."

Vladimir says: "I'm sorry, I can't pick the car up on that day. Do you have any other days on that week?"

The clerk asks: "How come? The time is over 30 years away, how do you know you're not available?"

Vladimir: "The plumber comes that day."

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#242

Post by endominus »

ptaipale wrote: post #239
Chris2048 wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Might be something to do with higher competition. Some countries have lower male-to-female ratios.

Indeed. Russia has one of the lowest male-to-female ratios in the world: 0.86 males per each female. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_sex_ratio I understand where that comes from: it's a stereotypical generalisation, but Russian middle-aged men drink themselves to death. Large areas of Russian countryside operate on granny energy only. So, the "supply" of women exceeds "demand" in Russia. What puzzl…

Pretty much, yeah. Less than 20% of the population of the UAE are citizens; there's a large majority of imported Indian, Filipino, etc labor.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#243

Post by arunc »

guscost wrote: post #73

A bit different but here's my favorite European joke: An Italian politician invites his Greek politician friend over for a visit. The Greek pulls up in front of an elegant manor house and is welcomed by the staff. He walks in through a foyer with marble floors and a huge marble staircase with ornamental banisters and a crystal chandelier. They walk through to a lovely veranda overlooking the river, and sit down to ea…

Factually, these are very common in India. Hundreds of lakes have vanished from Bangalore since 1970s.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#244

Post by sundvor »

Florin_Andrei wrote: post #235
sundvor wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What a great find. Linked from that video, a great one on ageism in politics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z97_qDsrqgU Reagan surely knew to carry himself in a presidential manner.

> Reagan surely knew to carry himself in a presidential manner. He was a good actor.

> He was a good actor.

At least he wasn't a megalomaniac.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#246

Post by kbenson »

YeGoblynQueenne wrote: post #218
pc86 wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> he memed you No. This has to stop. For the love of all that is good and holy this has to be the line in the sand that we do not cross. This is too much for the English language to take and still survive. Meme cannot be a verb.

>> Meme cannot be a verb. Yeah, stop verbing your nouns, dammit.

Whenever I get upset about this, I have myself a run. ;)

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#247

Post by jacobush »

School-Cotton wrote: post #194
jacobush wrote: post #148

Earlier quoted context omitted.

WW3 is just over. Some men in hazmat suits walk through a deserted and bombed out city, geiger meters screeching. Suddenly, they see three men setting in a park, playing cards. Curious, they walk over and ask - how can you be alive, you have no protective gear? - Oh, we are from Krakow.

I don't get it -- is there a lot of radiation in Krakow, or something?

Especially back then, Krakow was extremely polluted.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#248

Post by RogtamBar »

grkvlt wrote: post #167
Noseshine wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unless you refer to old(er) working class women with a hard life I don't see how any reasonable person can think that's even remotely a basis for a joke, given how much more beautiful Russian women look on average. Just walk around Russian cities. Having lived in the US for a decade and having been to Russia and Ukraine several times, sometimes for months living in a rented apartment, I know which country I'd choose…

It always intrigues me how people manage to persuade themselves, or get the impression, that country X or city Y has more attractive women than anywhere else. I guess it's a 'Grass is always greener...' effect?

People with a limited pool of ancestors are often very ugly. Especially noticeable in alpine valleys or remote island communities.

Same if inbreeding is practiced. So, the claim that for example, mid-easterners with their penchant for marrying cousins, or the Swiss with their insular village communities ..

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#249

Post by Florin_Andrei »

sundvor wrote: post #244
Florin_Andrei wrote: post #235

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Reagan surely knew to carry himself in a presidential manner. He was a good actor.

> He was a good actor. At least he wasn't a megalomaniac.

> At least he wasn't a megalomaniac.

Well, most Donald Trump supporters would take offense upon hearing how you characterize their idol. But since most of them are unlikely to be lurking round these parts, I guess that's okay.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#250

Post by sAbakumoff »

ptaipale wrote: post #238
sAbakumoff wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

True story. Russian guy's name is Ivan Pavlov.

I guess that was /s. FWIW, I recently met someone whose father was a dog-tender for Pavlov. The father was condemned based on Article 58 of the 1934 Soviet penal code (section for "Contacts Leading to Suspicion of Espionage", i.e. he had relatives in Finland) and was for some time in camps and after that, not allowed to keep any good job. A dog-tender was an allowed job; Pavlov was a very nice old man who treated his…

Yeah, I admit that referencing the great scientist I. Pavlov could be inappropriate in that context. It's just the punching line "Please, Vanya, just one sausage!" suggested this terrible joke and I couldn't have resisted.
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