Sadly, if the company isn't profit-motivated, it will be displaced by a profit-motivated one. At this point large companies are eerily similar to the hypothetical paperclip-maximizing AI that converts the entire earth in paperclips. Except that making more money lets you make even more money in a snowball effect. The fix is probably to check glassdoor etc. as much as you can before working for a potentially unethical…
Worker bees can leave. Even Drones can fly away. The queen is their slave.
Having been through an eerily similar episode as what you describe (but then as an LGBT employee) I did have an almost perfect paper trail but it still didn't help. It takes an absolutely insane amount of energy to fight a huge company like this and even if you do everything right the chances are pretty good they'll wear you out first. Best of luck with your recovery! It's been a really tough few years for me and I c…
Thanks for sharing the book. I am an employee of another big tech company currently going through similar process of HR not being very helpful despite raising grievance for last two months. The book is on point. With children and family, the fight is not worth the stress and permanent health impact.
Indeed. I wouldn't suggest anyone enduring months and months of not feeling safe at a visceral level if you also have the choice to disengage.
If you find a way to keep feeling safe, like I imagine having a good pro-bono legal advisor could have done for me, then by all means go ahead. If not, then there's also no shame in just moving on.
thanks for the defense. a woman would have to be foolish to create such a ruckus about "just sexism". we just suck that part up as part of our jobs.
> a woman would have to be foolish to create such a ruckus about "just sexism". I disagree, and that's not what I intended with my use of the word "just". It seemed to me like the poster was saying "look, no sexism here in this sub-incident" and I meant that your post wasn't just about sexism, it was about harassment.
I think I was being sarcastic. Publishing this post has been a draining experience for me and I don't think I can be trusted to make coherent arguments about this issue for a while now. :-/ I didn't expect it to pick up the way it did since this was a re-post after a barely noticeable first attempt.
>just the OP isn't comfortable discussing it in detail I have to say, if the OP is comfortable in making these very grave accusations but not comfortable enough to explain what happened but just to give her assessment of the situation; it doesn't do her credibility any good. There are a number of red flags noted throughout the comments, and much of this criticism has been met with "omg so horrible you have to believe…
is the fact that Apple thought to issue me an apology not enough proof that I am not making things up ?
This seems negligent on the part of HR (as well as genuinely awful). In California, all managers are required by law to take three hours of sexual harassment training every other year. One thing that stood out to me is that there is no need to make a formal harassment claim: when anyone mentions they have experienced harassment to a manager, even in a private conversation, the manager is required to report it and inv…
Appearing to genuinely care is a good pose for someone who has to collect interviews. I'm sure journalists have to fake concern to get the information they want. These HR people have to be empathetic so they succeed at getting the interviews. It doesn't have to go farther than that.
I agree that when events occur, people should make their own records.
> a woman would have to be foolish to create such a ruckus about "just sexism". I disagree, and that's not what I intended with my use of the word "just". It seemed to me like the poster was saying "look, no sexism here in this sub-incident" and I meant that your post wasn't just about sexism, it was about harassment.
I think I was being sarcastic. Publishing this post has been a draining experience for me and I don't think I can be trusted to make coherent arguments about this issue for a while now. :-/ I didn't expect it to pick up the way it did since this was a re-post after a barely noticeable first attempt.
For the record, I really appreciate that you took the time to record these events and make clear the sorts of things that you experienced. Even though it's hard to see now, from the commenters in this thread and others, I think stories like yours are important, especially as they contribute to a broader narrative. I hope and believe that we are working towards a sort of inflection point, where the scales tip and this sort of subtle and subversive nonsense is reliably identified, acknowledged, and rejected.
Whenever I'm dealing with something that is serious to me, I always clearly first state to myself 1) what I want and 2) what do I do if I don't get what I want. For example in this case, it could be: 1) Jack told me this and that and I consider this is inappropriate. I never want to be told that again in this company 2) I leave. What I do next is that I make sure I communicate clearly those two points to whoever I th…
Great comment! Thank you for posting it, I found it useful and informative, and I am sure others have as well.
I would say it has downvotes because it's at best tangentially related and has some weird framing: it frames person A who gets feelings for person B as a victim when person B decides not to marry them. Arranged marriage seems pretty horrible, but in talking to an indian coworker recently, they commented that having to find your partner seemed pretty horrible to them. I really don't see any compelling parallels to pha…
I think a lot of non-Indians have this impression that arranged marriage means forced marriage or child marriage. I was talking to a South Korean guy and he thought we (Indians) get married at a young age or something equally bad. When I told him how it happens in India, he remarked "thats how it happens in his country as well". Nowadays, we have matrimonial sites similar to your eHarmony. Guys/girls or their parents…
> In America, you have the draft which to me means you loose the right to your body.
The draft hasn't been used in America since 1973 - our military service is all volunteer.
What we do have, though, is called "Selective Service" - basically when you turn 18 years of age (and on thru 25 years of age), you have to register for "Selective Service" which is there to provide a list of "able and ready" (but maybe not willing) members of society which can be called up in a re-instated draft if and when it becomes necessary.