591–600 of 618 posts
Great advice. Possibly coming from someone who doesn't have a girlfriend. :) try to give such a stone to a girl and see how amused she is gonna be. You are just gonna sound "cheap". Diamonds are a status, not a beautiful stone. edit: I see many downvotes. Guys, seriously, was it for me, I would buy nothing. It's just how this world works. You can express your anger by downvoting me, I'll be fine, but please don't fal…
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> If we're dead-set on continuing to use pretty rocks as signals Why do we need signals? Why does the social contract of marriage need an expensive down payment on essentially nothing? These are things modern cultures should be distancing themselves from. The down payment should be for a house or apartment, or just anything useful.
> Why do we need signals? Signals are an essential aspect of human behavior. I don't think trying to eliminate signaling is a productive goal. You yourself brought up the "social contract" of marriage. A contract is not very powerful if there aren't consequences for breaking it. So that's one crucial signal: we are committed enough to this relationship to spend money on something which is only useful as a signal. The…
If something external, such as an expensive ring, is to keep the relationship afloat, I have hard time seeing a point of living and sharing your life with someone.
I told my girlfriend (5 years) how I feel about diamonds and that I reject the very notion of buying a diamond engagement / wedding ring early on in our relationship. Several months ago, we landed on the marriage conversation, again. I reiterated that I am against diamond engagement bands. She then said: "What about a wedding ring then?" I told her it applies to wedding rings as well. We got into a heated argument an…
Did you get to the point of explaining why you're against diamonds? Was she able to tell you why she wants a diamond in particular? To resolve this issue it would be good to exchange the exact, real reasons why one side wants the diamond and the other doesn't. But even then, it may end up your GF will insist on the diamond - while all the rational-in-the-vacuum reasons are against diamonds, there's this whole thing c…
Why not instead be with someone who you can reason?
People buy diamonds for a lot of the same 'irrational' reasons they believe in religion. Brainwashing. Girls have it pounded into their head over and over all their lives that this diamond is a MUST so they never think with their own brains about it. 99% of people would never spend $10K on a single piece of jewlery, if it was logic and reason, as opposed to pure brainwashing, that was governing their decisions. So ac…
Alot of women think this of men when they see us drop $60k-80k+ on car instead of getting a cheapo Toyota.
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I have known people that spent $18k-30k. If I was on the other side it would scare me that my partner was willing to blow that much money on a novelty. It's a sign that they are bad with money.
I paid a three digit sum and chose the ring based on what my girlfriend likes. She loves it.
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Then give a donation receipt for a charity that you both support for the cost of the diamond instead. At least that way the sacrificed money will support something you both believe in rather than the diamond industry.
It's also to display for others, not just for the receiver of the ring.
Wastefulness as a status symbol is a really harmful idea. I'd prefer someone who is smart with money.
I go out to collect gemstones as a hobby on the weekends. And it only took a half day class to learn how to shape them for jewelry. So while some people still like diamonds, I prefer to give hand-collected and crafted stones. They might not be worth as much, but I made them myself and can guarantee nobody was harmed or screwed over in the process.
Interesting read and great points. But the reason I'm shopping for a diamond is precisely that it is too expensive. It's supposed to be proof that I am glad to make sacrifices for her. If we wanted to do something nontraditional we might choose some completely different kind of ring, but to choose something that looks super expensive and is not would make me feel like I had cut corners for my fiance.
>Sorry about Trump, BTW. Why on earth do you think that sort of random political non-sequitur is appropriate?
We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12945175 and marked it off-topic.
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Horse meat is quite normal in western culture, unless if by western culture you mean anglophone countries.
I can't reply to stouset for some stupid reason, but why is it "absurd" to not want to eat horse for texture reasons? My understanding is that horse meat generally does not taste that good and is very tough, because those animals get a lot of exercise; it's like deer meat. Some people like venison, and there's no stigma attached to eating it, but it's hard to buy because demand is low (and they're not raised as lives…
> and they're not raised as livestock
See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deer_farm#Deer_Farming_in_New_... -- not quite as many of them as sheep there, but you definitely see a bunch of deer farms just driving around.
In fact, in my experience you're more likely to see New Zealand venison in a US store than US venison, because of the above laws prohibiting transportation.