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[1] "IamA programmer who writes code for calculating diamond prices. AMA about De Beers, the diamond industry, synthetic diamonds, engagement rings, etc." https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2aijjh/iama_programme...
I told my girlfriend (5 years) how I feel about diamonds and that I reject the very notion of buying a diamond engagement / wedding ring early on in our relationship. Several months ago, we landed on the marriage conversation, again. I reiterated that I am against diamond engagement bands. She then said: "What about a wedding ring then?" I told her it applies to wedding rings as well. We got into a heated argument an…
I haven't gone through this myself, but I've read that part of picking a great founder is finding someone you can talk through issues with, even if they're uncomfortable.
Not talking about something is a much bigger issue than disagreeing about something.
According to Wikipedia[0], the patents for the creation of Moissanite expired in 2015 in the US and in 2016 for the most of the rest of the world. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite#Applications
"The big difference between moissanite and diamond is that moissanite can be manufactured reliably and efficiently in a laboratory." Thats not true, diamonds can be manufactured reliably and efficiently in a laboratory as well. And its nearly impossible to tell the difference between natural and artificial ones. Only a very complicated lab test with a machine can tell the difference.
We were engaged in 2006 and I forwarded that article to my soon to be wife. Her answer was: I don't think this is funny. I ended up buying a 10k diamond ring. We're still happily married with 1 beautiful 8 y.o. daughter. Ask any married guy and they'll all say the same: pick your battles!
Exactly. Who is one person to judge what someone else finds important or gets pleasure from even if invented by a marketing person? What is the value of a football or soccer game or a host of other things people spend money on. Ripoff is in the eyes of the beholder.
So people do this to signal (both to their spouse and their friends) they are both financially capable and care enough about their spouse to burn a large amount of money on a pyre. It's also a very useful signal that you are serious about the commitment and unlikely to back off of the marriage. I would prefer to replace it with a certificate that proves you have spent X thousand dollars on said certificate from Moche…
Check out this article, http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how... It shows how the concept of diamond engagement rings were completely invented by a specific ad campaign; first in America and now expanding to the rest of the world. They were specifically trying to create social pressure to buy the most expensive ring possible; to reinforce the impression that a diamond ring demonstrated wealth a…
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> Until now, it's been non-negotiable. I really hate to be a random person on the internet giving personal advice but... diamonds being "non-negotiable" seems like a huge, glowing, neon warning sign. Don't be surprised to find out a bunch of other things are non-negotiable if you divorce.
Wow. It's very difficult to respond to you civically. We've been together for a long long time. It is amazing what people you don't know on the internet will assume about you. There was no alternative before this article. Cubic is cheap and tacky. Diamonds are overpriced and awful. Lab diamonds not much better. This article has a real alternative. That's a huge contribution to all diamond haters everywhere.
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Did you get to the point of explaining why you're against diamonds? Was she able to tell you why she wants a diamond in particular? To resolve this issue it would be good to exchange the exact, real reasons why one side wants the diamond and the other doesn't. But even then, it may end up your GF will insist on the diamond - while all the rational-in-the-vacuum reasons are against diamonds, there's this whole thing c…
Yeah well, societal pressures only go so far in influencing a relationship. If the other party can't respect your values, an argument over a diamond is the least of your worries.
It's very easy to justify going the no-diamond route, sure. From a financial point of view, it's just a bad idea. Some say the finances aren't the point, so you can turn to ethical arguments (diamonds are bloody business). You can't really lose the no-diamond argument; it's too easy to make.
Still, it's awfully convenient for the guy to be the one making the argument against buying an expensive ring. This doesn't make the arguments wrong, but depending on the relationship, the girl might suspect that the guy is making those arguments, not out of financial responsibility or morality, but out of apathy or simply being cheap. The guy might be making sound arguments, but his ulterior motive might still be problematic, and the girl might be taking issue with that. Also, there is a whole lot of meaning (artificial, but real just the same) that goes into the rituals of marriage, and you can't just dismiss all of that with some textbook argument about diamond cartels.
The relationship isn't doomed in this case; the couple can grow past it, and it's an opportunity to understand each other. The problem is, if either the guy or the girl takes on the perspective of "I'm obviously right and you're wrong if you disagree," then they're being unreasonable and stalling out the relationship. Both parties need to be honest and understand the other to get past it. The discussion over the diamonds may in fact be very important because it gets to the heart of a bunch of concurrent issues.
(I'm using "guy" and "girl" here because that's the situation where these cultural norms are at play. Obviously any other combination of genders could have the same issues, though I suspect it's less common in those cases.)
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Use the difference in price on a down payment on a home/apartment or open a college savings account for your kids. Tell the truth, you want to build a life together and are thinking about the long term financial and personal consequences of this decision. I bought a ruby for my wife for this exact reason. I also wanted to show our community that we rejected diamonds as a tradition. I think the more we discuss this is…
This doesn't work. I have tried it. She (my GF) just argues with me about any purchase I try to make that is around the ballpark of what she is expecting me to pay for a ring. e.g. Her: So you want a new MacBook Pro, but you can't afford a $3000 engagement ring? Me: No, I need a MacBook Pro for work. This has been going on for quite some time now.