I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me • Hacker News Board

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#111

Post by M_Grey » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:23 PM UTC

kba wrote: post #107

whiddershins wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's an interesting concept I read about, how members of doomsday cults tend to believe MORE strongly after the doomsday date passes and everything is shown to be false. It's something about cognitive dissonance. I wonder if there is a known way to convince someone who is in this state. Cult debunkers and such might have thoughts?

William Miller predicted Jesus' return in the year 1843. When that didn't happen, he adjusted his calculations to mean March 21, 1844. When that failed, it became October 22, 1844. He kept modifying his prediction whenever it failed. You'd think being constantly proven wrong would make people stop believing him. That's how the Seventh-day Adventist Church was started. A church that today has more than 18 million memb…

This is also how the JW's started, and frankly continue. The simple, sad reality is:

People mostly believe what they want to believe.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#112

Post by planckscnst » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:28 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

Have you considered that your mother probably has all the information necessary to impersonate you and acquire debt on your credit?

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#113

Post by FungalRaincloud » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:32 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

Reading through your comments, I think there's really only two resolutions to this situation. The first is that your mother in law will run out of funds, and die penniless. From what you say, that seems to be where this is heading. However, the only other resolution I can see is that she realizes on her own what is happening. You can lead her to the water, but you can't make her drink it. Realistically, I see that happening in only one of two ways. Option one is that he admits to it being a scam, and cuts contact himself (or gets arrested for it). I don't think that's likely. However, option two is, as others have said, she could try to plan a surprise (or even a non-surprise) visit. If you propose this, I would recommend you do so in a positive light - don't say anything along the lines of "well, if he's real, he should want to meet, right?". Rather, phrase it as the next logical step. It only makes sense that two lovebirds should meet, after all, so she should accept it pretty readily, if you propose it as what's the next best step for their relationship.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#114

Post by logicallee » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:34 PM UTC

nkrisc wrote: post #104

logicallee wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you talk more about when and how many times they've met in person?

I imagine she has almost certainly not met anyone in person, that's how these scams work.

Sure, but how do you believe someone loves you and is going to marry you without seeing them? Buy her a ticket so she can find out

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#115

Post by hilop » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:35 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

Why don't you or family scam her first, and then give the money back slowly?

The thing about Nigerian 419 scammers is that , like most companies, the people you deal with are low wage call center employees, not the ringleaders who get the profit

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#116

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:36 PM UTC

FungalRaincloud wrote: post #113

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

Reading through your comments, I think there's really only two resolutions to this situation. The first is that your mother in law will run out of funds, and die penniless. From what you say, that seems to be where this is heading. However, the only other resolution I can see is that she realizes on her own what is happening. You can lead her to the water, but you can't make her drink it. Realistically, I see that ha…

[deleted]

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#117

Post by logicallee » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:36 PM UTC

alimw wrote: post #102

logicallee wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

(read to the end, I am not making the analogy you think.) In the country where I was born, in my personal opinion (so this is not a neutral comment) startups are considered scams. Actually a few people elsewhere have expressed similar opinions. So, when you and an "online friend" get together and spend your own time and money, they consider it a scam. Like, if you are working with/for someone, they should be paying y…

I'm not sure about the start-up analogy here, but it seems a good idea to me to encourage your mother-in-law to pay a visit to her supposed romantic interest.

What I mean by the analogy is that people outside of the startup can have the same feeling about the startup entrepreneur (e.g. thinking they've been mired up in a scam.) the difference is there isn't one in the startup case.

So do something - like visit the love interest - that differentiates between these cases.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#118

Post by hilop » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:37 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #65

whiddershins wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't fully understand your situation, and it must be horrible and frustrating and painful, but there must be some way you can get through to her?

The first day he messaged her, we told her it was a scam to take window's money. Four months later, when we discovered she had been talking to him in the intervening months, we showed her a few websites that detail exactly how the romance scam works (matching her situation exactly ). Last weekend, when we found out all of her money was gone, we had the police and adult protective services come out and tell her point…

She's paying for companionship. It's basically prostitution. If you don't approve, find someone to give her more comfort than her courtesan does.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#119

Post by pavel_lishin » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:37 PM UTC

gotofritz wrote: post #85

michael_h wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The first day he messaged her, we told her it was a scam to take window's money. Four months later, when we discovered she had been talking to him in the intervening months, we showed her a few websites that detail exactly how the romance scam works (matching her situation exactly ). Last weekend, when we found out all of her money was gone, we had the police and adult protective services come out and tell her point…

Are you a geek? Is there no way you can start impersonating him and telling her you've been lying to her etc

Or get her to start sending money to a different account, one registered in her name.

Aside from the fact that you're impersonating someone, what would the legal ramifications be of "stealing" from someone only to deposit the money in an account they nominally control, but aren't aware of?

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#120

Post by joering2 » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 3:38 PM UTC

nkrisc wrote: post #104

logicallee wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you talk more about when and how many times they've met in person?

I imagine she has almost certainly not met anyone in person, that's how these scams work.

I don't know what are "those" scams but many scammers go very far, as far as giving you their cellphone number that works and they pick up, and even meet you in person. There are youtube videos of scammers meeting people and then called out on lie they just leave. I would assume if she paid so much and still have money, she is priobably on scammers vip list so I wouldn't be suprised if multiple "lawyers" and other scums meet her and show her papers that all is good in regarding to her $3.5 MM, it just needs more time.