I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me • Hacker News Board

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#81

Post by oblio » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:21 PM UTC

whack wrote: post #69

One thing I never quite understood. These "Nigerian prince" scams can originate from any developing nation where the exchange rate makes for very lucrative prospects. Ie, Chile, Egypt, Romania, Kazakhstan, China, India, Thailand, etc etc. Why do a disproportionate number of these scams seem to originate from Nigeria?

> Why do a disproportionate number of these scams seem to originate from Nigeria?

We (Romania) prefer to steal credit card numbers instead. Less work and instant benefits!

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#82

Post by ryuker16 » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:21 PM UTC

curiousdater wrote: post #17

Online dating can be rough if your brand new and a tech luddite. A friend of mine just went on a POF date. Before they met up he asked if she was a prostitute because he ended up meeting a few of those who posed as sincere dates. One thing that ticks me off especially Match.com and I can't believe I fell for it .. is that when your subscription expires they suddenly say this average to above average looking chick(one…

Dude, nobody uses match or POF any more. Everbody uses the free ones and apps.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#83

Post by icebraining » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:23 PM UTC

wodenokoto wrote: post #80

coldtea wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Such articles like this one stereotype Nigeria in a falsely negative manner. Err, the author actually WENT to Nigeria to meet her actual Nigerian scammer -- and others doing the same. What stereotype? She doesn't say that most Nigerians or only Nigerians do such things -- but that's what happened to her.

Just because this one did, doesn't mean most do.

Who claimed they do?

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#84

Post by tzakrajs » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:23 PM UTC

zyrthofar wrote: post #70

michael_h wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, they won't. We can take over her finances if she is declared mentally incompetent . She's not mentally incompetent - she understands everything, but she just disagrees with the crucial bit: that the dude doesn't love her and is scamming her. As the judge told us yesterday : we are walking a fine line, taking over another person's autonomy, but it's not illegal to fall in love and do colossally stupid things.

But wouldn't that mean that you and your SO would inherit these debts when she dies, and there's nothing you can do about this? That's truly awful :(.

Maybe in a country where such a dashed thing is possible, but I believe the OP is in the US.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#85

Post by gotofritz » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:26 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #65

whiddershins wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't fully understand your situation, and it must be horrible and frustrating and painful, but there must be some way you can get through to her?

The first day he messaged her, we told her it was a scam to take window's money. Four months later, when we discovered she had been talking to him in the intervening months, we showed her a few websites that detail exactly how the romance scam works (matching her situation exactly ). Last weekend, when we found out all of her money was gone, we had the police and adult protective services come out and tell her point…

Are you a geek? Is there no way you can start impersonating him and telling her you've been lying to her etc

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#86

Post by fraev » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:26 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

Hack her computer and prevent any further communication.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#87

Post by MichaelBurge » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:26 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #62

easytiger wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Any court will let you take power over her finances. This is a clear cut case. Just ask any bloody lawer

No, they won't. We can take over her finances if she is declared mentally incompetent . She's not mentally incompetent - she understands everything, but she just disagrees with the crucial bit: that the dude doesn't love her and is scamming her. As the judge told us yesterday : we are walking a fine line, taking over another person's autonomy, but it's not illegal to fall in love and do colossally stupid things.

It might be too late now, but I wonder if you could've convinced her to put the money into a trust and have it slowly distributed to her over the remainder of her life.

At the very least, whatever enjoyment she's getting out of helping this person could be stretched out for decades, and it reduces the risk she'll be out on the streets with no options. And if the story is the guy is in debt, usually creditors are willing to negotiate a repayment plan, so it shouldn't be too hard of a sell. You could even say the scammer will benefit, since he won't get taxed as much doing it this way.

Depending on the exact terms, you might be able to fit in a conditional clause on the scammer only receiving money while they're married. Which she shouldn't oppose, since it's the plan; but a scammer would oppose.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#88

Post by logicallee » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:27 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #62

easytiger wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Any court will let you take power over her finances. This is a clear cut case. Just ask any bloody lawer

No, they won't. We can take over her finances if she is declared mentally incompetent . She's not mentally incompetent - she understands everything, but she just disagrees with the crucial bit: that the dude doesn't love her and is scamming her. As the judge told us yesterday : we are walking a fine line, taking over another person's autonomy, but it's not illegal to fall in love and do colossally stupid things.

(read to the end, I am not making the analogy you think.)

In the country where I was born, in my personal opinion (so this is not a neutral comment) startups are considered scams. Actually a few people elsewhere have expressed similar opinions. So, when you and an "online friend" get together and spend your own time and money, they consider it a scam. Like, if you are working with/for someone, they should be paying you! No concept of equity etc.

Now as we know, many stqrtups coasted by on "binders full of credit cards", were colossal risks. Adults have the right to do that.

Let's say someone tried to "get through to me" that there is NO SUCH THING AS SUCCESSFULLY RAISING MONEY OR A SUCCESSFUL EXIT. The problem is, they're wrong. There is such a thing.

So when you look at your mother's case - she disagrees with you. You are saying "this man is just lying to her" but she says, "no, no".

Well, ask her: does he talk about meeting her? Does he make plans to meet her? (I hope so.)

Have her plan a surprise trip to see him. It doesn't take much money to fly anywhere in the world.

If he is a scammer he will not want to see her under any circumstances. That will tell her all she needs to know.

What I mean is that you have to make her do something that is a differential between the two possibilities.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#89

Post by logicallee » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:29 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #76

ryuker16 wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think shes gone senile. Go see a doctor.

Probably not senile, but certainly a mental breakdown. Which makes 'seeing a doctor' easier said than done. She's not a gentle lady being tricked out of her cash, she's tenaciously ejecting her money to a dude she thinks she's going to marry, while everyone around her is making her miserable. The whole situation is beyond surreal.

Can you talk more about when and how many times they've met in person?

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#90

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 2:33 PM UTC

jrowley wrote: post #74

whack wrote: post #69

One thing I never quite understood. These "Nigerian prince" scams can originate from any developing nation where the exchange rate makes for very lucrative prospects. Ie, Chile, Egypt, Romania, Kazakhstan, China, India, Thailand, etc etc. Why do a disproportionate number of these scams seem to originate from Nigeria?

One simple explanation is that Nigeria is the most populous country in Africa. Also Lagos is massive city and has good internet (better than more rural areas) so you have a lot of people without a lot money, but a lot of time and relatively cheap internet access.

[deleted]