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All the lonely people

ucobserver.org

151–160 of 220 posts

Re: All the lonely people

#152

One institution not mention (and given the publication, I find it a bit odd) is the local churches. It is one of the large connection points that have started to fade. The amount of social welfare the churches supported has not been replaced.

You see, churches are most likely to be visited by white people, who are priviliged by definition. That's why only mosques are mentioned - refugees are one of the groups that actually suffers from loneliness. Not some rich white males.

Even if some white males sufer from loneliness, we still shouldn't help them, because on average white males still are better off than muslim refugees for example.

That is also the reason we need more mosques and more welfare for refugees and more taxes for white people - to lessen the impact and privilige.

Re: All the lonely people

#153
post #70

People are assholes :(

I live in a city, and I hear people screaming incoherently outside my window on a nightly basis. This is because my neighborhood has a sizable homeless population. Am I an asshole for not making nightly 911 calls to report this?

how do you get any sleep? ocean machine?

Re: All the lonely people

#154
post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

Keep greeting them - they will come around. I am from the US South and not saying hello (or waving when they pass by) is considered bad manners. I have done this all my life and people have told me that they like it when someone says "good morning" with a smile. Maybe I am lucky or biased, but I don't care. I like it when people are nice and I treat people the way that I want to be treated. I sometimes have to spend…

[deleted]

Re: All the lonely people

#155

> When she couldn’t find her way back home, confused and scared, she screamed for help. She banged on people’s doors and tried to claw her way into vehicles, setting off car alarms. > Neither offered to help, nor called 911 — they pulled the curtains shut and went back to bed. This is a insult to my intelligence. This sort of emotive bullshit is both a lie (This is not what happened) and totally unconstructive. There…

It's ruffling your feathers because you're unfamiliar with psychology. What you feel is heartless beavior is, in fact, rather predictable behavior in an urban environment. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect

I'm not sure this is really bystander effect, that to me is a condition of "someone else will help" whilst these sorts of situations are "this isn't my problem". It's feeling that others are more capable vs. being cold-hearted.

Re: All the lonely people

#156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Keep greeting them - they will come around. I am from the US South and not saying hello (or waving when they pass by) is considered bad manners. I have done this all my life and people have told me that they like it when someone says "good morning" with a smile. Maybe I am lucky or biased, but I don't care. I like it when people are nice and I treat people the way that I want to be treated. I sometimes have to spend…

This is a highly culturally dependent practice; here in the UK, saying "hello" to strangers is weird/creepy/intrusive and suggests you want something from them. (Also: the American practice of baring your teeth when smiling is often received as aggression.) It doesn't mean they're not nice people: just that by starting an interaction trivially you've invaded their comfort zone.

Only in UK cities. In villages and hamlets almost everyone says Hello to everyone, even if they don't know them. This also extends to drivers raising their hand from the steering wheel in a little greeting when passing in country lanes.

Re: All the lonely people

#157
Where I currently live in (Bangalore, India), the community includes a large no of young people who've migrated from rural to urban places due to work or for studies. A lot of us are also first time graduates with financial dependents.

In tech industry (where I work), the current work culture has made sustaining a friends circle (support system) outside of work really hard; even more so when they live in different cities.

I personally see co-workers & friends who struggle to cope with stress at work, staying away from home/family/trying to sustain a relationship. The sad part is that it rarely gets spoken about. In our case time not invested in relationships during 20's (when one is also building his/her career) is a major reason for loneliness as people get older. Nothing that we have done so far has equipped us to handle it. An over-competitive job market only makes things worse. Prioritizing family/friends often gets interpreted as not being motivated/hardworking enough and has huge penalties (direct and indirect) associated with it.

I really hope corporates begin to see the importance of healthy & happy workers not just on book, but in practice as well.

Re: All the lonely people

#158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Strangers greeting me on the street was a culture shock when I moved from India to US (to Salt Lake City,UT). Often my brain won't process it in time to return the greeting before the person has passed me. Sometimes I will bungle the reply (saying "same to you" in reply to "Good Morning") or just smile in return or nod. If you have greeted someone on the street and hasn't gotten any response back, please don't take i…

For what it's worth, I think "same to you" is a perfectly fine reply to "good morning." So is a smile or nod.

Agreed, it's a totally normal response. But when you get into the habit of saying it, you also tend to use it when the boarding personnel say, "Have a nice flight!"

Re: All the lonely people

#159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Keep greeting them - they will come around. I am from the US South and not saying hello (or waving when they pass by) is considered bad manners. I have done this all my life and people have told me that they like it when someone says "good morning" with a smile. Maybe I am lucky or biased, but I don't care. I like it when people are nice and I treat people the way that I want to be treated. I sometimes have to spend…

This is a highly culturally dependent practice; here in the UK, saying "hello" to strangers is weird/creepy/intrusive and suggests you want something from them. (Also: the American practice of baring your teeth when smiling is often received as aggression.) It doesn't mean they're not nice people: just that by starting an interaction trivially you've invaded their comfort zone.

> (Also: the American practice of baring your teeth when smiling is often received as aggression.)

This is patently ridiculous.

Re: All the lonely people

#160
I'm not sure that the root causes are accurate in this article. I think loneliness transcends poverty and in many cases can be aggravated by wealth: many of the poorer people I know have to depend on social connections for things which I can buy.

Also, this comment seems really off:

> The homeless are, almost by definition, alone.

In my understanding, many homeless people frequently communicate with each other.

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