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All the lonely people

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Re: All the lonely people

#51

Post by autotune »

dclowd9901 wrote: post #48
asksol wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

Living in Portland now after moving from SF. Jarring at first how many people will actually just look at you, and half the time will actually pop a quick "Mornin'" or "Hi" to you. A friend from NYC was here visiting and expressed how much it freaked him out to have people looking at him in the eye -- given his experience, he felt like they were being aggressive or nosy. Anyway, having originally been from a small rur…

I've found plenty of people in SF will look at you, the real problem is figuring out how to connect with them as an introvert. If all you want is for them to do the former just hit the gym more as fitness is a mainstream way to at least have a mutual appreciation of each other in this city, beyond just connecting with other devs and ops people via your open source contributions.

Re: All the lonely people

#53

Post by asksol »

afarrell wrote: post #35
asksol wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

A big part of the problem is that when you just walk up to someone they don't really know what your intentions are. My wife is actually currently working on this problem though. She is an event planner and has started running meetups specifically for people who are looking to meet new people. It has worked pretty well in the US, but we're actually going to be moving to London (assuming my visa comes through...).

People need more venues to meet new people, but by greeting I meant more like saying "evening!" when you pass your next door neighbor in the hallway. I don't think there's an expectation to chat in this case. If I wanted to chat I'd start with "excuse me," and probably walk up first as you say.

A greeting can be made from across the street, and sometimes just lifting your hat in response is enough (I don't have one, but I have seen people do this).

Re: All the lonely people

#54

Post by nojvek »

branchless wrote: post #3

I don't know Canada well enough yet, but I can tell you what life used to be like in the UK in my mum's time as a kid, around 55 years back in the North East of England. All families lived near each other and you lived near your school. You'd walk home past your nan's house and stop in there or at your uncles. Maybe when you got home your mum was out at the shops - ok go to your nan's a few yards away. Or just go to…

I sometimes do worry about that. If banks didn't create mortgages, would houses be more affordable. It's obscene that I will give half of my life's income to the bank to pay off my mortgage.

Re: All the lonely people

#57

Post by combatentropy »

some_hero-_- wrote: post #50

I was a semi introvert and extrovert guy but after working for one startup for more than 3 years in isolated environment makes me feel like i am fully introvert. There is no one with whom i can express my feelings openly. I don't have friends to hangout, and the most depressing thing is the people of my age have all this thing. What's more awkward is I can't even able to approach people, seems like i forgotten how to…

I'm sorry you're in this situation

Re: All the lonely people

#58

Post by wallflower »

jmspring wrote: post #23
protomyth wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I doubt we will since it would take a common belief that emphasizes charity and group togetherness. The most interesting secular meeting place is McDonalds for a lot of older people. Its cheap and you can often sit there a while, but McDonalds doesn't really have an equivalent of the local preacher.

Or Taco Bell or whatever local cheap eatery is in the local neighborhood.

"When many lower-income Americans feel isolated and empty, they yearn for physical social networks. All across US, this happens organically at McDonald's"

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/jun/08/mcdonalds-c...

Re: All the lonely people

#59

Post by roansh »

As far as I understand - according to the article, loneliness in itself is not a bad thing for the health but what it brings with itself - the possibility of depression, possible risk of suicide, inactivity hence possibility of obesity and diabetes. I wonder how it affects the people who genuinely prefer being alone, and like it!

Re: All the lonely people

#60

Post by m0llusk »

ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

This is terribly naive. I walk around my neighborhood saying hi to people and they call me names because I am a member of a number of disrespected minorities. Social cohesion is a much more complicated problem than walking around and talking to people.
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