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All the lonely people

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Re: All the lonely people

#31

Post by AndrewKemendo »

protomyth wrote: post #4

One institution not mention (and given the publication, I find it a bit odd) is the local churches. It is one of the large connection points that have started to fade. The amount of social welfare the churches supported has not been replaced.

Yes, this is a great point that I bring up frequently. Even though I don't participate in churches I do think there is a real value in the communities they create.

The challenge is, is it possible to create such a community without it being around something like a religion or cult?

Sports (either watching or doing) are the closest thing I can think of but that takes a certain type of personality.

Re: All the lonely people

#32

Post by losteric »

branchless wrote: post #3

I don't know Canada well enough yet, but I can tell you what life used to be like in the UK in my mum's time as a kid, around 55 years back in the North East of England. All families lived near each other and you lived near your school. You'd walk home past your nan's house and stop in there or at your uncles. Maybe when you got home your mum was out at the shops - ok go to your nan's a few yards away. Or just go to…

We live in a society heavily oriented around consumption and under increasing pressure from technology... the market mindset has consumed the world. It's debatable whether wandering shrinking families are a symptom or a cause.

Re: All the lonely people

#33

Post by losteric »

phantom_oracle wrote: post #24

and unlike solving the problem of horizontal scaling, a mathematical equation or something with a clear solution, there is no clear, Silicon Valley style cure to this problem. You can't exactly Facebookify people who are lonely. Also, AFAIR(r=recall), Japan has a similar issue of loneliness. Makes you wonder though. Even if you cure the economic (poverty) and health issues (living into your old age), something else w…

I can't help but remember Calhoun's utopia experiment: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-mouse-utopias-1...

Re: All the lonely people

#34

Post by update »

kstenerud wrote: post #16

The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a moment away from people and noise. Now I live in complete isolation. My nearest neighbor is two miles down a dirt road. I only go into town to stock up on foods, which I vacuum seal and stuff in the deep freeze (enough to last me 3 months at a time). I've never bee…

I completely relate and I don't think it's weird at all. I'm currently transitioning to your lifestyle right now.

Re: All the lonely people

#35

Post by afarrell »

asksol wrote: post #29
ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

A big part of the problem is that when you just walk up to someone they don't really know what your intentions are. My wife is actually currently working on this problem though. She is an event planner and has started running meetups specifically for people who are looking to meet new people. It has worked pretty well in the US, but we're actually going to be moving to London (assuming my visa comes through...).

Re: All the lonely people

#36

Post by mrcsparker »

asksol wrote: post #29
ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

Keep greeting them - they will come around.

I am from the US South and not saying hello (or waving when they pass by) is considered bad manners. I have done this all my life and people have told me that they like it when someone says "good morning" with a smile. Maybe I am lucky or biased, but I don't care. I like it when people are nice and I treat people the way that I want to be treated.

I sometimes have to spend a lot of time in New York and the people are the same. I just push through it. They won't change me because I like it when people are pleasant. Plus, the world is a nicer place when people are nice to you.

Re: All the lonely people

#37

Post by stephengillie »

lisper wrote: post #27
stephengillie wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you neighborly with the homeless people and beggars in your neighborhood? This is a genuine question. How do you interact with people who live on your street but do not have shelter?

I spent two years getting to know many of the homeless people in (what was at the time) my neighborhood, and made a movie about the experience: http://graceofgodmovie.com You should watch it. I think you might be surprised. I was.

One of the problems in activating the homeless population is that they're not a community - most people have a life situation, lose their shelter, have a rough time, get back on their feet, and then can afford to rent again. There are some who live without permanent shelter perpetually, but this community is a small fraction of the overall population, and they have different goals.

Re: All the lonely people

#38

Post by School-Cotton »

kstenerud wrote: post #16

The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a moment away from people and noise. Now I live in complete isolation. My nearest neighbor is two miles down a dirt road. I only go into town to stock up on foods, which I vacuum seal and stuff in the deep freeze (enough to last me 3 months at a time). I've never bee…

Everyone is different, and has different needs

Re: All the lonely people

#39

Post by tomcam »

losteric wrote: post #33
phantom_oracle wrote: post #24

and unlike solving the problem of horizontal scaling, a mathematical equation or something with a clear solution, there is no clear, Silicon Valley style cure to this problem. You can't exactly Facebookify people who are lonely. Also, AFAIR(r=recall), Japan has a similar issue of loneliness. Makes you wonder though. Even if you cure the economic (poverty) and health issues (living into your old age), something else w…

I can't help but remember Calhoun's utopia experiment: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-mouse-utopias-1...

Counterintuitive, amazing, horrifying. Everyone should read about this experiment. I would love to know if it has been re-created.

Re: All the lonely people

#40

Post by colanderman »

AndrewKemendo wrote: post #31
protomyth wrote: post #4

One institution not mention (and given the publication, I find it a bit odd) is the local churches. It is one of the large connection points that have started to fade. The amount of social welfare the churches supported has not been replaced.

Yes, this is a great point that I bring up frequently. Even though I don't participate in churches I do think there is a real value in the communities they create. The challenge is, is it possible to create such a community without it being around something like a religion or cult? Sports (either watching or doing) are the closest thing I can think of but that takes a certain type of personality.

Universal Unitarianism is pretty close to this. It is non-creedal (you don't have to believe in anything) and very community-oriented.
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