Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

All the lonely people

ucobserver.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

61–70 of 220 posts

Re: All the lonely people

#61

Post by billmalarky »

m0llusk wrote: post #60
ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

This is terribly naive. I walk around my neighborhood saying hi to people and they call me names because I am a member of a number of disrespected minorities. Social cohesion is a much more complicated problem than walking around and talking to people.

Yikes. I hope your situation is the exception not the rule.

Re: All the lonely people

#62

Post by Cerium »

m0llusk wrote: post #60
ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

This is terribly naive. I walk around my neighborhood saying hi to people and they call me names because I am a member of a number of disrespected minorities. Social cohesion is a much more complicated problem than walking around and talking to people.

It doesn't always work, but if you don't try it always doesn't work.

Re: All the lonely people

#63

Post by hackuser »

some_hero-_- wrote: post #50

I was a semi introvert and extrovert guy but after working for one startup for more than 3 years in isolated environment makes me feel like i am fully introvert. There is no one with whom i can express my feelings openly. I don't have friends to hangout, and the most depressing thing is the people of my age have all this thing. What's more awkward is I can't even able to approach people, seems like i forgotten how to…

Isolation is so painful; it's literally traumatic for people. You are not at all the only one; in fact, what you are experiencing is a perfectly normal reaction. Humans are fundamentally social beings; without other people to socialize with, our cognitive and emotional systems don't function properly. For example, for children, I believe it's well established that even abuse by parents is better for them than abandonment. A much more extreme example is people in solitary confinement, who experience serious mental and emotional problems due to their almost complete lack of human contact (beyond anything even isolated people experience out in society).

Your social skills and energy will return naturally when you feel better. Consider finding a good therapist who you feel comfortable with. Not only will you have someone to talk to, but they can help you understand and manage your problems and help you develop the skills to do the things you want to do.

I would love to read on HN someday that it worked out well for you. Take care.

Re: All the lonely people

#64

Post by flamedoge »

ptaipale wrote: post #30
50CNT wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Germany has the Vereinswesen, which are small clubs around a common hobby (such as shooting, football, gymnastics, orchestra, basketball, etc.) that are usually part of a larger Verband, which may be state or country-wide like the DFB (German Football Federation), the DBB (German Basketball Federation), DSB (German Shooting and Archery Federation), or the BDMV (Association of German Music Societies). That could be a…

And it is in many countries, but for some reason the U.S. doesn't seem to work that way. I was a bit surprised when my son spent a year in high school in the U.S. and I found out how youth football (soccer) system works there. Over here in Europe, we have a plethora of local clubs that collect the young and old to train and play, and to work together to organise everything, fund it, and so on. In the U.S. the footbal…

meetup.com seems to be alive in every city....

Re: All the lonely people

#65

Post by ctrlalt_g »

kstenerud wrote: post #16

The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a moment away from people and noise. Now I live in complete isolation. My nearest neighbor is two miles down a dirt road. I only go into town to stock up on foods, which I vacuum seal and stuff in the deep freeze (enough to last me 3 months at a time). I've never bee…

I don't think I've ever felt loneliness in my life despite having been socially isolated several times.

Re: All the lonely people

#66

Post by aaron695 »

> When she couldn’t find her way back home, confused and scared, she screamed for help. She banged on people’s doors and tried to claw her way into vehicles, setting off car alarms.

> Neither offered to help, nor called 911 — they pulled the curtains shut and went back to bed.

This is a insult to my intelligence. This sort of emotive bullshit is both a lie (This is not what happened) and totally unconstructive.

There is a serious topic around this issue of care for people above food and shelter, it's just a shame this article is so piss poorly written.

Re: All the lonely people

#67

Post by daksatech »

protomyth wrote: post #4

One institution not mention (and given the publication, I find it a bit odd) is the local churches. It is one of the large connection points that have started to fade. The amount of social welfare the churches supported has not been replaced.

More importantly the institution of family.

Re: All the lonely people

#68

Post by blitzd »

kstenerud wrote: post #16

The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a moment away from people and noise. Now I live in complete isolation. My nearest neighbor is two miles down a dirt road. I only go into town to stock up on foods, which I vacuum seal and stuff in the deep freeze (enough to last me 3 months at a time). I've never bee…

You're not weird, just likely introverted. This book may help: https://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-People-Thrive-Ext...

Re: All the lonely people

#69

Post by RIMR »

aaron695 wrote: post #66

> When she couldn’t find her way back home, confused and scared, she screamed for help. She banged on people’s doors and tried to claw her way into vehicles, setting off car alarms. > Neither offered to help, nor called 911 — they pulled the curtains shut and went back to bed. This is a insult to my intelligence. This sort of emotive bullshit is both a lie (This is not what happened) and totally unconstructive. There…

That was my thought too. It seems that the author was trying to tell the story in such a way as to pull on the most heartstrings.

I live in a city, and if I hear incoherent screaming outside of my apartment, I ignore it. I figure calling 911 every night would eventually get me in trouble, so I just accept that loud, mentally ill homeless frequent my neighborhood at night.

Re: All the lonely people

#70

Post by RIMR »

ashitlerferad wrote: post #56

People are assholes :(

I live in a city, and I hear people screaming incoherently outside my window on a nightly basis. This is because my neighborhood has a sizable homeless population.

Am I an asshole for not making nightly 911 calls to report this?

Post reply on HN