Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

All the lonely people

ucobserver.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

141–150 of 220 posts

Re: All the lonely people

#141

Post by tluyben2 »

RIMR wrote: post #70
ashitlerferad wrote: post #56

People are assholes :(

I live in a city, and I hear people screaming incoherently outside my window on a nightly basis. This is because my neighborhood has a sizable homeless population. Am I an asshole for not making nightly 911 calls to report this?

One of the reasons I left the city and will never return; it drove me crazy. When I hear someone scream where I live now I know it is serious, I know who it is and I know that at least 5 other people already called the police (or ambulance/fire dep). It also rarely happens.

Re: All the lonely people

#142

Post by Symbiote »

stephengillie wrote: post #20
ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

Are you neighborly with the homeless people and beggars in your neighborhood? This is a genuine question. How do you interact with people who live on your street but do not have shelter?

I ignore him completely.

I'm unimpressed with anyone who travels thousands of kilometres to sit in the street and beg.

Re: All the lonely people

#143

Post by tmacro »

mrcsparker wrote: post #36
asksol wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

Keep greeting them - they will come around. I am from the US South and not saying hello (or waving when they pass by) is considered bad manners. I have done this all my life and people have told me that they like it when someone says "good morning" with a smile. Maybe I am lucky or biased, but I don't care. I like it when people are nice and I treat people the way that I want to be treated. I sometimes have to spend…

As someone who was raised and still lives in the South I second this. Southern hospitality is a real thing.

Re: All the lonely people

#144

Post by aphextron »

dclowd9901 wrote: post #48
asksol wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

Living in Portland now after moving from SF. Jarring at first how many people will actually just look at you, and half the time will actually pop a quick "Mornin'" or "Hi" to you. A friend from NYC was here visiting and expressed how much it freaked him out to have people looking at him in the eye -- given his experience, he felt like they were being aggressive or nosy. Anyway, having originally been from a small rur…

>it really bothered me how people in SF would seem to actively ignore your existence.

This city is full of insane mental patients walking the streets, which puts normal people on the defensive. You very quickly learn to never make eye contact while walking around, just keep moving and try to ignore it.

Re: All the lonely people

#145

Post by afterburner »

Symbiote wrote: post #136
Svip wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How odd, as a Scandinavian (more precisely: Dane), I can relate to almost all of those. Maybe it's a Nordic thing and not just a Finnish thing? Bus stops need a lot of place here, because people don't want to stand close together, for instance.

Can you relate to the final situation? I hope not... > Bus stops need a lot of place here They need a lot of space :)

Hmm... http://finnishnightmares.blogspot.ca/2016/03/especially-when...

Re: All the lonely people

#146

Post by xor-xor »

Legogris wrote: post #110
hueving wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is there such a thing as anti-social dancing?

Ever been to a psytrance rave? Lots of people are go there with minimum social interaction and are there purely for dancing to the music in their on bubble.

> Ever been to a psytrance rave? [...]

...or silent disco.

BTW, there's a great movie "Lobster" [1], where this "anti-social dance" phenomenon is hilariously portrayed in one of the scenes. Highly recommended.

[1] http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3464902/

Re: All the lonely people

#147

Post by tluyben2 »

When I lived in different cities people would find it extremely weird when I talked to them or said hi on the street; guys would think I wanted something from them and girls would think I wanted them. With many people around me constantly, it was a very lonely experience; hard to get to know people (I have a weird/rare first name and one of the bar guys of our local (popular) cafe we went to every friday had the same first name; after 2 years he didn't know what I always ordered or who I was) at all, let alone make friends. I started to believe the statement which people always put forward; you don't make new good friends after 30. I had colleagues at the office including my some of my long term high school / uni friends but there was no point of living in an (expensive) city for that.

We packed up and left (it was a decision on a drunk night when, once more, we found ourselves sitting in a Kirchner painting of a place where no-one looks at or interacts with each other) for a tiny place deep in the mountains of another country (we moved from the Netherlands to Spain). Everyone talks to everyone here, a few years in we not only made new friends but even people we would call new best friends. Our closest neighbour is 5 minutes walk and the closest bar 10 minutes, so if we don't want to see anyone, we can and if we want a party with a mix of friends and strangers: at least 2 times a week, but in the summer 4 times a week, we can.

Because this is a place tourists usually avoid (it is high up in the mountains and most people really don't like that; they want beach and some blue drink with a parasol), the people that do want to live here (and weren't born here) have the same kind of attitude. Great place to work with a laptop in the sun.

Re: All the lonely people

#148

Post by uola »

raverbashing wrote: post #120
ido wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's interesting. What led you to this observation? I've only visited for a few weeks but my impression of "random Canadians" is that they care a lot more than random Germans and Austrians (or at least seem to?).

Can't tell much about the Austrians, but Canadians definitely care less than the average German They may be friendly and talkative, yes, but it's mostly for politeness. You might see they quickly lose interest after a bit Now your average German will be a little bit interested in a legitimate conversation (of course if this goes nowhere that's fine as well)

While I think Germans, and people of culturally similar countries (Austria, Switzerland) are usually quite nice I have a hard time saying they genuine care about other people. Since rationalizing others misfortunes (or most things really) seem to be deeply ingrained in society.

Re: All the lonely people

#149

Post by ObeyTheGuts »

mrcsparker wrote: post #36
asksol wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

Keep greeting them - they will come around. I am from the US South and not saying hello (or waving when they pass by) is considered bad manners. I have done this all my life and people have told me that they like it when someone says "good morning" with a smile. Maybe I am lucky or biased, but I don't care. I like it when people are nice and I treat people the way that I want to be treated. I sometimes have to spend…

I hate then stranger says hi to me, because i dont want it be done to me i also never say hi to anyone.

For me saying hi is start of business, like if u enter shop and want ask shop keeper something u initiate with hi, other than that it is invasion of my privacy. I can tell if i want talk to u or not just from looking at u and no need for stupid small talk.

Re: All the lonely people

#150

Post by raverbashing »

uola wrote: post #148
raverbashing wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can't tell much about the Austrians, but Canadians definitely care less than the average German They may be friendly and talkative, yes, but it's mostly for politeness. You might see they quickly lose interest after a bit Now your average German will be a little bit interested in a legitimate conversation (of course if this goes nowhere that's fine as well)

While I think Germans, and people of culturally similar countries (Austria, Switzerland) are usually quite nice I have a hard time saying they genuine care about other people. Since rationalizing others misfortunes (or most things really) seem to be deeply ingrained in society.

It might depend a lot on the region of Germany as well, for example Bayern is in some ways more "laid back" and traditional (Austria seems close culturally to Bavaria than other parts of Germany)
Post reply on HN