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The Lonely Death of George Bell

nytimes.com

61–70 of 72 posts

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#61
post #57
post #53

> IN 1996, GEORGE BELL hurt his left shoulder and spine lifting a desk on a moving job, and his life took a different shape. He received approval for workers’ compensation and Social Security disability payments and began collecting a pension from the Teamsters. Though he never worked again, he had all the income he needed. Sometimes, having income without effort is death in life.

He got hurt making a living. That is what workers compensation is. It is not like receiving an inheritance like: Donald Trump, the Walton family, etc. George Bell earned that worker's compensation with a remaining lifetime of pain. If that isn't earned I don't know what is.

I think the point is that Bell, who already tended toward introversion, no longer could (due to injury) nor had a need (due to not needing to work) to go outside and socialize.

That said, having an income was probably the biggest factor - that kind of back injury does not keep one from going out. I agree that his compensation is earned - but that sort of support has side effects on both the recipient and the rest of society. When taxes and regulation can be expected to take up the slack, people tend toward individualism and communities wither. Compare the strength of families and communities over the last 100 years. While good government can provide financial assistance, like how communities used to, it rarely provides the human socialization that communities do.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#62
post #55

It's so difficult when you're on a trajectory that you know will kill you yet you cannot change it because it feels like your entire being is so tainted and the sadness is so ingrained in your soul that your mind just tells you to isolate your miserable existence from those around you. I have struggled with this my entire adult life and I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because reading this beautiful piece is li…

I really appreciate your sharing this.

I'm sure you've sought help, but it would be remiss of this community if we didn't suggest that it might help you to speak to a professional.

Personally, i can recommend reading what Julian Baggini says about happiness. His perspective is quite refreshing and unexpected, to me at least.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#63
post #55

It's so difficult when you're on a trajectory that you know will kill you yet you cannot change it because it feels like your entire being is so tainted and the sadness is so ingrained in your soul that your mind just tells you to isolate your miserable existence from those around you. I have struggled with this my entire adult life and I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because reading this beautiful piece is li…

I promise you, I felt the same way as you describe for years. I took antidepressants for years but they would eventually stop working. I tried all kinds of natural supplements, meditation, exercise, etc. After losing my marriage and alienating my children I tried once more but this time my doctor added a mood stabilizer. It has made all the difference in the world. I have a very close relationship with my children now, close friends, job, and enjoy many interests. Don't give up.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#64
post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

He got hurt making a living. That is what workers compensation is. It is not like receiving an inheritance like: Donald Trump, the Walton family, etc. George Bell earned that worker's compensation with a remaining lifetime of pain. If that isn't earned I don't know what is.

I think the point is that Bell, who already tended toward introversion, no longer could (due to injury) nor had a need (due to not needing to work) to go outside and socialize. That said, having an income was probably the biggest factor - that kind of back injury does not keep one from going out. I agree that his compensation is earned - but that sort of support has side effects on both the recipient and the rest of…

Really? Before socialized welfare, your place within the community was entirely tied to your working ability. Too old to farm? Go sleep under the stairs. Then take a walk in the forest in winter and don't come back.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#65

A wonderful piece, almost read like a novel. At the end, I couldn't help but try to derive some overall take-away. The best I could come up with was to cherish your friendships and always try to keep in touch. One concern I would have is whether or not today's internet-based culture could hinder this?

I saw a movie recently which dealt with this topic of people dying with no obvious next of kin

  http://film.britishcouncil.org/still-life2
though from a british viewpoint and somewhat cynical regarding the downsizing of the department handling these affairs (I don't know what really happens over here)

I was pleased to note that the new york times actually listed costs relating to the disposal of his estate, and even went and spoke to the people who did inherit some of whom had never even heard of George Bell.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have one thought, which is that no one really needs you saving them via insulting HN comments.

And that I am trying to save anyone is your own extrapolation.

okay, fine. then what you are doing is something even less useful, and I should have no one really needs you lecturing them for no reason via insulting HN comments.

do you feel better now that your output has been properly characterized?

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#68

I never understood this stigma about hermits/social isolation in western societies. In the east, it's much more accepted. Reading this piece I got the impression that the writer and persons interviewed were HORRIFIED by what they discovered. It seemed to me as if "having friends" was pretty fucking high in their list-of-important-things-in-life. I was very amused by this, almost started laughing in fact. Human relati…

Yes, maybe it applies to China but definitely not to India.

We put a very high price on family and relatives. Nepotism is rampant here, and people can go to any extent to help/protect their family. I think people in West put the same high value on their friends wrt to family (I think but I could be very wrong about it because of the little exposure I've had).

Funny story. In a recent seminar on road safety the speaker asked the audience "Who here will report their mother to the police if she was involved in a hit and run".

Only three hands stood up out of the whole crowd and all three were Americans. Now while it is admirable, everyone was just shocked that somebody would think of doing that to their own mother. It's just isn't the part of our culture but at least from that anecdote I think it may not be that big of a deal from to a westerner.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Liking and disliking are not the only choices. I'm saying to see the world the way it is. Also, would you say your refuge in algorithms is your way of trying to control your reality? Algorithms are straight forward and predictable, unlike people. Thoughts?

Don't assume things about me (this is another tendency that "people" have :-) From an early age, I found contemporary "people" uninteresting to extremely dull. I had to force myself to socialize with them in order not to become a premature social pariah. It's a lot easier these days. I'm mostly talking about your average human by the way, not the sum total of humanity. To give you an example, I enjoy Nietzsche's (ano…

> will you finally be able to fully devote yourself to whatever it is that you know, deep down, is your true calling in life?

Unfortunately, the mysterious voice that tells you to pursue a creative activity might grow silent when that activity is no longer connected with social status in your mind. Which is exactly what will happen if you grow distant from humans and your material needs are covered by machines.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#70
post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately, "we will satisfy people's desires by changing their desires" isn't a very attractive pitch.

I think you did not understand the full import of my comment. So let me clarify. Your ask is for a society where every person is "needed and wanted". In other words, every person's (social) desires/ needs/ wants are to be fulfilled on a consistent basis. Given that Mother Nature is discriminative, this is simply impractical unless every one is forced (ala. communism) to equitably dish out attention/love regardless of…

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