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The Lonely Death of George Bell

nytimes.com

51–60 of 72 posts

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#51
post #31

We need a society where every person is needed and wanted. We need it more than any dumb technical advance that lessens the need for people, like robots delivering pizza or whatever. That will take some heavy thinking, though, and I feel that we haven't even started.

> We need a society where every person is needed and wanted. I'd rather live in a society where every person was self-sufficiently mirthful, with people-interaction being little more than the cherry on top of sundae. This is what individualism was originally meant to be, but people continue to undermine the power of instinctual passions (acknowledging something is the first step to eradicating it).

Unfortunately, "we will satisfy people's desires by changing their desires" isn't a very attractive pitch.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#53
> IN 1996, GEORGE BELL hurt his left shoulder and spine lifting a desk on a moving job, and his life took a different shape. He received approval for workers’ compensation and Social Security disability payments and began collecting a pension from the Teamsters. Though he never worked again, he had all the income he needed.

Sometimes, having income without effort is death in life.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#54

I'm sorry but this is garbage in my view. We need to use the time we have in order to do the things that are important to us , not to enrich "others" whoever they may be. This obsession about society and socializing and following norms and "fitting in" is one of the things that are seriously fucked up in the western world. We need more people who have gone sideways , more recluses, more geniuses, more people who do n…

"Nobody will remember you 200 years after you die"

It would be good to be "remembered" in 200 years but it would make little difference to you: you'll be dead. It won't matter anymore to you and to the extent that it matters to anyone else that interest maybe closer to "fun trivia things to know" than as someone they would aspire to emulate. How many people care about most roman emperors? How many people care about the vast swath of past US presidents? They were at the top of their game during their time (to varying degrees of course) but even the vast majority of them are still relegated to historical footnotes. In the big scheme of things that happens to even the greatest of men/women. Two decades ago Thomas Edison was the face of American inventiveness (deserved or not) but now to many people it has been supplanted by Steve Jobs (deserved or not). In a couple of years the same thing will happen to him.

Living with that idea as your ultimate goal is the vainest thing that you can do.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#55
It's so difficult when you're on a trajectory that you know will kill you yet you cannot change it because it feels like your entire being is so tainted and the sadness is so ingrained in your soul that your mind just tells you to isolate your miserable existence from those around you. I have struggled with this my entire adult life and I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because reading this beautiful piece is like unraveling my own future. Rest in peace, George. We all die alone, but no one deserves to die lonely.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd say it cuts both ways. I don't get out much myself, but I keep pretty well in touch with friends from all walks of life via social media. In another era many of those relationships would have atrophied with both time and distance.

I do it the opposite way actually. No social media at all. I call, text, and email a whole host of people on a regular basis. Social media is honestly a hindrance of friendships. If you want to know about an old friend you haven't talked to in a while, punch up their facebook/instagram/twitter. All caught up. No need to interact whatsoever. I call, email, and text, to maintain that sense of a personal connection. Tec…

Perhaps. I think people who grew up with social media know it's a loose substitute for maintaining real friendships and relationships. You just won't get the same fulfillment looking at a 'friends' feed than actually reaching out to them directly (via technology or otherwise). Just like you call, email and text - many people do that (snapchat, whatsapp, etc).

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#57
post #53

> IN 1996, GEORGE BELL hurt his left shoulder and spine lifting a desk on a moving job, and his life took a different shape. He received approval for workers’ compensation and Social Security disability payments and began collecting a pension from the Teamsters. Though he never worked again, he had all the income he needed. Sometimes, having income without effort is death in life.

He got hurt making a living. That is what workers compensation is. It is not like receiving an inheritance like: Donald Trump, the Walton family, etc.

George Bell earned that worker's compensation with a remaining lifetime of pain. If that isn't earned I don't know what is.

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#58
post #55

It's so difficult when you're on a trajectory that you know will kill you yet you cannot change it because it feels like your entire being is so tainted and the sadness is so ingrained in your soul that your mind just tells you to isolate your miserable existence from those around you. I have struggled with this my entire adult life and I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because reading this beautiful piece is li…

Not quite sure what to say, other than thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you. .

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#59
post #55

It's so difficult when you're on a trajectory that you know will kill you yet you cannot change it because it feels like your entire being is so tainted and the sadness is so ingrained in your soul that your mind just tells you to isolate your miserable existence from those around you. I have struggled with this my entire adult life and I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because reading this beautiful piece is li…

Not quite sure what to say, other than thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you. .

Re: The Lonely Death of George Bell

#60
post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We need a society where every person is needed and wanted. I'd rather live in a society where every person was self-sufficiently mirthful, with people-interaction being little more than the cherry on top of sundae. This is what individualism was originally meant to be, but people continue to undermine the power of instinctual passions (acknowledging something is the first step to eradicating it).

Unfortunately, "we will satisfy people's desires by changing their desires" isn't a very attractive pitch.

I think you did not understand the full import of my comment. So let me clarify.

Your ask is for a society where every person is "needed and wanted". In other words, every person's (social) desires/ needs/ wants are to be fulfilled on a consistent basis. Given that Mother Nature is discriminative, this is simply impractical unless every one is forced (ala. communism) to equitably dish out attention/love regardless of the likability/attractiveness of the other person.

In response I stated that I'd rather live in a society where every person was self-sufficiently mirthful. By that I meant - where every person is content/ happy/ delighted on their own company. Everyone exhibits a "cheerful enjoyment of life; an exultation of spirit."[1] In such a society, people continue to interact with one another as usual - but such interactions would simply be a bonus-fun. There would be no "needs" and "desires" to be fulfilled by establishing a connection/bond with the other person (interactions happen freely without any demands/bonds/expectations; love becomes obsolete).

I finished off that comment by effectively saying that the very first step people need to take, to be on the path to being in such a mirthful society, is to acknowledge the role instinctual passions play in those "needs" and "wants" ... such as, for instance, how the underlying passions of nurture/ fear/ desire (regardless of culture) underpin the various social desires/ anxieties of needing-to-belong/ seeking-approval/ fearing-ostracization/ suffering-loneliness (varies somewhat by culture).

Therefore, my comment is about first acknowledging, and then minimizing to the point of finally eradicating those desires than satisfying or changing them.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joie_de_vivre

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