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Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

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41–50 of 222 posts

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#41

God I wish I was in NYC. The stories I've heard from buddies there! West coast scene is not like this at all, especially not in Man-Francisco or Man-Jose (unless you like men of course).

Seriously. I flew out to NYC for a job interview. Was there for just 2 days and I got laid. I wasn't even trying at all, I was just there for an interview! And this was after a 2.5 year dry streak in SF.

My god I want to go back.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#42
post #3

But others lament the way the extreme casualness of sex in the age of Tinder leaves many women feeling de-valued. “It’s rare for a woman of our generation to meet a man who treats her like a priority instead of an option,” wrote Erica Gordon on the Gen Y Web site Elite Daily, in 2014. If a woman doesn't want to feel like an option, shouldn't she stay far away from Tinder? It's not like there isn't a million other way…

> If a woman doesn't want to feel like an option, shouldn't she stay far away from Tinder?

Maybe but I think the problem is more general. It is not just women who get de-valued. Human relationships of all kinds suffer from a society that sees people more and more as means to an end thanks to the redundancy that social online networks of all kind enable. For example, it seems to me that people these days accept several private invitations that take place simultaneously only to decide last minute which of the available options they like best. I think this is rather sad. But then again I entered the world of grown ups not so long ago. Maybe society hasn't changed that much after all?

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#43
post #16

For the most part, I find that most online social media just degrades human interaction. Twitter encourages short shallow quips, Facebook shows me my friends arguing angrily and pointlessly over random articles, dating apps encourage some of the behaviors described in the article. Heck, even HN encourages a certain kind of attitude that I don't find that great, all in all. I know that it's not black or white, and tha…

It's not technology you're avoiding, it's the nature of human community. Technology merely exposes you to more of it than you might otherwise experience in a developed, individualistic culture. You'll find the same vapid subjects in any third world corner coffee shop/bar/community center/eating place. The only thing stopping people from doing this in person is a lack of familiarity. That said, talking in person allow…

But I'm still hanging out with friends, going to social places, volunteering, and so on. I'm not avoiding human community; I'm just choosing to structure my life in a way that exposes me to what I think are the best aspects of human community, and avoids the worst.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#44
post #34
post #16

For the most part, I find that most online social media just degrades human interaction. Twitter encourages short shallow quips, Facebook shows me my friends arguing angrily and pointlessly over random articles, dating apps encourage some of the behaviors described in the article. Heck, even HN encourages a certain kind of attitude that I don't find that great, all in all. I know that it's not black or white, and tha…

> For the most part, I find that most online social media just degrades human interaction. Twitter encourages short shallow quips, Facebook shows me my friends arguing angrily and pointlessly over random articles, dating apps encourage some of the behaviors described in the article. Heck, even HN encourages a certain kind of attitude that I don't find that great, all in all. I don't know. I think, perhaps, in the 're…

I absolutely don't disagree with you. I've tried a more temperate approach like the one you describe; and I can get it with some degree of success for a while, but it never lasts long. Hence why I'm a bit more aggressive in my approach now.

I'm glad it's working for you though!

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#45
post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have been thinking about why Tinder seems like a bad deal for my lady friends. It seems that women used to hold the power in online dating but for whatever reason Tinder has turned into a site that reduces the cost (time investment and biological risk) to sleep with strangers. It seems that as that's picked up the new norm is a "race to the bottom" for women who want traditional relationships.

You say that Tinder reduces the "time investment and biological risk" of [sex]. I'm not a Tinder user, how does it reduce the biological risk? wouldn't the risk of an STD be just as great, if not greater, than the status quo?

Just a theory of mine. I feel that the odds would be greater going to a bar and doing the usual pick up routine vs vetting them ahead of time.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#46
post #16

For the most part, I find that most online social media just degrades human interaction. Twitter encourages short shallow quips, Facebook shows me my friends arguing angrily and pointlessly over random articles, dating apps encourage some of the behaviors described in the article. Heck, even HN encourages a certain kind of attitude that I don't find that great, all in all. I know that it's not black or white, and tha…

What's your opinion on HN (or other places) ? What's your outlook about it and how would you compare it to other online social media [sites] ?

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#47
post #13

The hardest part of making those websites work is attracting women on it, and it's not easy. Men are natural predators. In 2008/9 I used a french website "adopt a guy" (adopte un mec). It was really disruptive because it gave women much more powers. Men can only "charm" women, and women must "adopt" men if they want to talk to them. To be honest I was really surprised, it worked so much better. Women were more confid…

I'm not sure it's so obvious, but it does seem like a good idea to try stateside: a dating site where women get all the power.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#48
post #40
post #16

For the most part, I find that most online social media just degrades human interaction. Twitter encourages short shallow quips, Facebook shows me my friends arguing angrily and pointlessly over random articles, dating apps encourage some of the behaviors described in the article. Heck, even HN encourages a certain kind of attitude that I don't find that great, all in all. I know that it's not black or white, and tha…

When I was in my 20's in the last decade I would have killed to have been able to meet people with like-minded interests using Meetups, Facebook, and even reddit. I really have to agree with you on this. I feel that the ease of communication has really cheapened it. It's kind of sad talking to people on Google Hangouts who live in the same city but never actually hanging out IRL. Before you had to make a real effort…

When I first moved to the bay area 5 years ago, I used Meetup.com, Facebook groups, OKCupid, etc. very heavily to meet new people and find things to do, and it was definitely helpful. But now that I have my favorite hangouts, social network, and so on, I just find that I don't benefit as much from these anymore. So I'm very glad they existed when I did use them; but at this point of my life, it's not working as well for me.
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