Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

> For the most part, I find that most online social media just degrades human interaction. Twitter encourages short shallow quips, Facebook shows me my friends arguing angrily and pointlessly over random articles, dating apps encourage some of the behaviors described in the article. Heck, even HN encourages a certain kind of attitude that I don't find that great, all in all.

I don't know. I think, perhaps, in the 'real world' we learn to become very good at choosing who we associate with, and don't spend time with 'destructive' people (for lack of a better term), but perhaps this has yet to be learnt properly online.

For myself, I literally have never seen an argument on my Facebook feed. I have about 150 Facebook friends. I don't see flame wars on Twitter; I follow people I find interesting, that's all. I subscribe to subreddits with sane moderation policies. Generally, the internet I encounter on a day-to-day basis is actually quite a civil, friendly place.

I just don't think the online world is that much different from the real world. You choose where to spend your time, who to spend it with, and that shapes the experiences you have–just like the real world. Is it really so different?

I think technology is somewhat to blame, and agree with you in a way.

With broadcast mediums and technology, we first made it easy to compare any potential with the pool of all potential partners, and so many women (the historical gatekeepers of sex and relationships, fair or not) began to hold out on local suitors because they didn't meet some platonic ideal they'd seen once somewhere.

Now technology has ticked again, and men have access to a marketplace of potential mates. Unfortunately, women are no longer the gatekeepers on relationships or sex, and the winning strategies in this new market happen to be uncouth and crass and, most importantly, effective.

Speaking frankly as a somewhat bitter and jilted engineer:

If they'd wanted traditional relationships, they should've been friendlier and less aloof when they were being courted earlier.

Now that we're older and wiser and more financially secure, and with the technology giving us a ripe marketplace for relationships, why settle for anything less than convenience and our own arbitrary standards?

Not only that. The sense of entitlement is incredible.

who treats her like a priority instead of an option

Well I'm sorry but that's what humans are, options on legs. Be it on a job application or in dating. There's fierce competition, you gotta be good or at least better than your competition. This is the normal state of being, and nobody, not even girls (and especially not guys), is above it.

If you want real, emotional bonding, get off tinder and fancy clubs. Such bonds can form in places you least expect them and it cannot be forced.

When I was in my 20's in the last decade I would have killed to have been able to meet people with like-minded interests using Meetups, Facebook, and even reddit. I really have to agree with you on this.

I feel that the ease of communication has really cheapened it. It's kind of sad talking to people on Google Hangouts who live in the same city but never actually hanging out IRL. Before you had to make a real effort to meet the person for dinner or at a bar.

It's even more strange to me as you can find some group online for whatever niche group and have stimulating discussion and never leave the house.