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It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

thetechnobody.com

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Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#91

Post by blasdel »

parfe wrote: post #57
grammaton wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't speak to what actually happens when she's at one of these events since I'm not there. But given that her whole blog is a coy, disingenuous photo-shoot, I have to say I look askance at this woman in particular. It's not difficult to imagine her interpersonal style being similar. That's where the above comment was coming from.

Here's another site full of photoshoots of the writer. Think he's asking for personal contact if he hands out his business card? http://stallman.org/photos/rms-working/

Unfortunately, yes: http://stallman.org/extra/personal.html

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#92

Post by parfe »

tome wrote: post #90
parfe wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you're saying she's asking for it?

Her appearance suggests to me she's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable. If she acts in real life in a manner which reflects what her blog headline photos suggest about her, then I would expect her to get asked out a lot. (That doesn't excuse any men from being douches about it, but if they're polite and take no for an answer then I don't see any problem)

>Her appearance suggests to me she's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable.

And there it is: Pure sexism.

Knew you couldn't hold it in.

Edit: Just to prove the point. Find a picture of a man that you think qualifies as "His appearance suggests to me he's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable."

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#93

Post by stuhacking »

acgourley wrote: post #74
stuhacking wrote: post #25

Why doesn't she get a second phone/line for business only. If someone abuses that then at least they don't have her personal number and she can deal with the inappropriate use of her business number accordingly. She could also make it clear on the card that it is a business number.

It doesn't really matter, I've had an ex get asked to dates over email by potential business leads. Especially awkward is the "half and half" situation where they asked you to dinner to discuss business. For her it was especially hard to turn down because it wasn't just a networking client is was often a potential client for her firm.

The point is you take steps to separate your business and personal details so that some percentage of your encounters will get the picture.

For those that don't, you should be able to deal with them quite candidly. If they persist and start harassing you then block their number or report them.

If you can't do this, then maybe the problem lies on your end. Stop putting yourself in the position where you are helplessly being tormented.

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#94

Post by tome »

parfe wrote: post #92
tome wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Her appearance suggests to me she's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable. If she acts in real life in a manner which reflects what her blog headline photos suggest about her, then I would expect her to get asked out a lot. (That doesn't excuse any men from being douches about it, but if they're polite and take no for an answer then I don't see any problem)

>Her appearance suggests to me she's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable. And there it is: Pure sexism. Knew you couldn't hold it in. Edit: Just to prove the point. Find a picture of a man that you think qualifies as "His appearance suggests to me he's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable."

Pardon me?

Men and women are different when it comes to (at least, heterosexual) relationships, and signal their interest differently. If observing that makes me a sexist, then so be it.

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#95

Post by lhorie »

tome wrote: post #78
lhorie wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I fail to see how "when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards? Yeah, that’s not me ‘giving you my number’." is not clear. Got the business card, don't call her for a date. It's not rocket science... >> why can she just not say "no thanks" You don't rant when some business contact you just met asks you if you'd like to go hit a gay pub later. You do it after it has happened for the hundredth time…

If it's happened to her hundreds of times in a month, then yes, I'd say that the men she's been meeting are out of tune with reality.

Why do you say they are out of tune with reality only after a hundred (or whatever) men asked her out? It's not like women advertise how many inappropriate requests they have turned down.

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#96

Post by grammaton »

hard1p wrote: post #68
grammaton wrote: post #47

So....girl writes a blog that is half blog, half glamour photo shoot, and is obviously trading on her appearance. Fine, it's a free country, work an advantage if you've got it. She openly admits in the "about" section of her blog that she has all of one year of experience. Then girl is shocked, just shocked , when business professionals don't take her seriously and are only interested in one thing. A superficial girl…

How is she 'obviously' trading on her appearance exactly? If she was minging and had exactly the same online presence you wouldn't be saying that. Tard

Huh? This comment makes almost no sense, but if I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying that I wouldn't think the same thing if she showed up at a tech conference in crimson lipstick and a black dress and made pouty faces all over the place?

Um...yes, actually. Yes I would think that.

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#97

Post by getsat »

rue wrote: post #59
getsat wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How long were Noirin Shirley's false allegations on the front page? Once the white knights finish their posturing, it will disappear (until next time).

If you feel the need to pull that in here, at least provide sourcing for your allegations of falseness.

How about the fact that her police report resulted in nothing happening? All we got out of the entire incident was a character assassination under false pretenses and a lot of whining.

It probably also violates HN etiquette to link your comments to your female friends and ask them to upvote it. Please don't do it anymore.

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#98

Post by Benjo »

etherael wrote: post #84
etherael wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So the same kind of thing one could do with an irc bot in your dev chat room that monitors social media for mentions of your name? That would actually be useful if you didn't know how to do the above I think.

I have karma to burn so mod me down as much as you please, but for the record this was not intended as a sarcastic comment either, I was trying to see exactly what this "monitoring of social media" actually implies beyond my stated example.

What you described is essentially grep. Hiring someone to give you an executive summary of your image on the internet is different.

Honestly, I don't know if this is really the most important function of a social media consultant. They are really a domain expert. Like any consultant, their job is as not just to perform tasks in the domain, but to offer expertise and help make decisions as well. Knowledge of effectively using Twitter, Facebook, Yelp, etc can be leveraged for shareholder value. This could be marketing campaigns, coupons, contests, tech support, retweeting when relevent or almost any other use of social media.

Now, not every company needs this. But for big companies with large support and customer relations staffs, it's not unreasonable that a few social media experts can save enough money to make it worth their while.

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#99

Post by grammaton »

parfe wrote: post #92
tome wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Her appearance suggests to me she's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable. If she acts in real life in a manner which reflects what her blog headline photos suggest about her, then I would expect her to get asked out a lot. (That doesn't excuse any men from being douches about it, but if they're polite and take no for an answer then I don't see any problem)

>Her appearance suggests to me she's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable. And there it is: Pure sexism. Knew you couldn't hold it in. Edit: Just to prove the point. Find a picture of a man that you think qualifies as "His appearance suggests to me he's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable."

The TOP BAR OF HER WEBSITE, that is to say, THE VERY FIRST THING YOU SEE when you go to her site, is a series of glamour shots of her smiling, laughing, nibbling on her glasses, staring into the camera, voguing all over the place - all while wearing what could very well be a black dress, with bright red crimson lipstick on.

And that's perfectly fine if she wants to trade on her appearance this way, but the minute someone suggests she may be doing so, suddenly they're "sexist." How does that work?

"Find a picture of a man that you think qualifies as "His appearance suggests to me he's open to the suggestion of initiating a romantic relationship with someone suitable."

I, for one, would not be terribly turned on by a guy wearing red lipstick, etc. That's just me, being straight and all. Men and women have different signals, that's just how it is. If the pictures where all of an aquiline Abercrombian staring off into the distance with his shirt off, casually slung over his shoulder, showing off rippling pecs and abs, well....what would YOU say he was doing?

Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.

#100

Post by pinko »

tome wrote: post #89
tptacek wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Taking someone's business contact information with no intent of building a business relationship and then using it for your own personal benefit is unprofessional and rude. I'm not sure any number of words is going to get you around that fact.

Asking someone on a date is not solely for one's own personal benefit. It's expected that the other party could benefit from the offer too.

So is selling someone dental insurance. Doesn't mean it's not spam.
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