She's right on point, IMHO. It's not the fact that she's being hit on that bothers her. It's the fact that the people who ask for her card give no clues as to their intentions. She wants people who ask for her card for personal reasons to say that is what they are doing. Makes sense to me.
It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
51–60 of 104 posts
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#52Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's a kind of marketing. But yeah, it's bullshit. It's the new "SEO consultant".
'Doing social media' isn't necessarily bullshit. For example, it could be useful for a large company to know what's being said about them on Twitter -- maybe even to respond -- and it's not necessarily clear whose job that would be... except for the person who does social media?
So the same kind of thing one could do with an irc bot in your dev chat room that monitors social media for mentions of your name? That would actually be useful if you didn't know how to do the above I think.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#53You know, some people say a woman mind is a mystery, but this thread is making me think that some guys simply don't make any effort to actually understand what women mean when they say something clear and to the point...
Plenty of people make every effort to understand what they mean - but it doesn't work so well when the woman is saying one thing and lacing it with tons of subtext that say something else.
From the TFA:
>> when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards
You're really stretching the definition of subtext if you're suggesting that a woman giving you her business card actually means she wants to get personal with you.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#54Earlier quoted context omitted.
Plenty of people make every effort to understand what they mean - but it doesn't work so well when the woman is saying one thing and lacing it with tons of subtext that say something else.
From the TFA: >> when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards You're really stretching the definition of subtext if you're suggesting that a woman giving you her business card actually means she wants to get personal with you.
I can't speak to what actually happens when she's at one of these events since I'm not there. But given that her whole blog is a coy, disingenuous photo-shoot, I have to say I look askance at this woman in particular. It's not difficult to imagine her interpersonal style being similar. That's where the above comment was coming from.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#55You know, some people say a woman mind is a mystery, but this thread is making me think that some guys simply don't make any effort to actually understand what women mean when they say something clear and to the point...
In my opinion she's anything but clear. She doesn't explain, for example, when she gets asked out on a date (is that exactly what she's suggesting these men are doing -- it's again not clear) why can she just not say "no thanks" and leave it at that?
>In my opinion she's anything but clear.
Seriously? You miss her saying that trading business cards is not an invitation for personal contact?
I found it blatantly obvious that she finds direct flirting acceptable while the subterfuge of faking a professional interaction to acquire contact information to be creepy and spineless.
I think a lot of people here are taking this woman's complaint personally which is actually quite funny.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#56I'm surprised at the arrogance and even offensiveness of several of the comments posted here. (I'm also reminded of the currently trending article about sexual harassment and assault at OSS conventions.) The author's issue not with men hitting on her, as she clearly explains. Her issue is with men obtaining her contact information ostensibly to do business and then using that contact information to hit on her. Really…
I think there are two different realities that fit the evidence we've been presented with equally well. One is unacceptable -- and she's well within her rights to complain; the other is acceptable -- and she's making too much of the issue. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that the following is the case: The men "hitting on" her are perfectly polite and interested in her professionally, but also want to see i…
Would you find it acceptable for someone to call you after finding your resume online but then after the business pretext asking you on a date?
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
From the TFA: >> when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards You're really stretching the definition of subtext if you're suggesting that a woman giving you her business card actually means she wants to get personal with you.
I can't speak to what actually happens when she's at one of these events since I'm not there. But given that her whole blog is a coy, disingenuous photo-shoot, I have to say I look askance at this woman in particular. It's not difficult to imagine her interpersonal style being similar. That's where the above comment was coming from.
Here's another site full of photoshoots of the writer. Think he's asking for personal contact if he hands out his business card? http://stallman.org/photos/rms-working/
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#58Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think there are two different realities that fit the evidence we've been presented with equally well. One is unacceptable -- and she's well within her rights to complain; the other is acceptable -- and she's making too much of the issue. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that the following is the case: The men "hitting on" her are perfectly polite and interested in her professionally, but also want to see i…
Would you find it acceptable for someone to call you after finding your resume online but then after the business pretext asking you on a date?
Well I'm a guy but if I wasn't married I'd be flattered.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#59Why is this story still on the front page?
How long were Noirin Shirley's false allegations on the front page? Once the white knights finish their posturing, it will disappear (until next time).
If you feel the need to pull that in here, at least provide sourcing for your allegations of falseness.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#60Earlier quoted context omitted.
'Doing social media' isn't necessarily bullshit. For example, it could be useful for a large company to know what's being said about them on Twitter -- maybe even to respond -- and it's not necessarily clear whose job that would be... except for the person who does social media?
So the same kind of thing one could do with an irc bot in your dev chat room that monitors social media for mentions of your name? That would actually be useful if you didn't know how to do the above I think.
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