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How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

durmonski.com

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Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#81
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just in case people see the misleading "ikigai" Venn diagram https://medium.com/@support_35468/ikigai-is-not-a-venn-diagr...

Regardless of whether or not it accurately explains the term’s origin or true meaning, the Venn diagram seems to present the more compelling idea.

But the venn diagram is a completely different concept and doesn't relate to the original meaning of ikigai. I think it should just get a different name since it is NOT the same thing.

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This works without kids. If you have kids, then typically you desire to give them the best available options, and that then means living in higher priced neighborhoods with higher achieving student populations. And then your kid befriends another kid whose parents are doctors/lawyers/engineers/business owners, and they want to don vacation or camp with them and you need to pony up a few hundred or thousand dollars an…

Even so, there’s a lot of decently affordable “good enough” where the difference between that and “best available” is marginal compared to the cost increase. The most obvious and probably biggest expense item (at least in the US) would be tertiary education, but having been out a few years I don’t really notice what the additional benefit was of top-tier private university vs cheap state university, since I know plen…

I like to think of this "good enough" thing by calling everything beyond "good enough" as irresponsible, and actually sabotaging those very same kids' future needs by squandering your (their) resources today on things which can not actually be justified.

That way, even if you were subject to feeling guilt over not providing the very best of everything, you can satisfy it this way.

"good enough" and "justified" must consciously and explicitly include some pie slice for "non-essentials" though. Some amount of "non-essentials" are in fact essential. Anything else is simply not living. So, once in a while, you do splurge on the expensive weekend.

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#83
post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> No, you are being influenced by media, which convinces you that things are a proxy for happiness and good relationships The Fight Club line has always really resonated with me: "We work jobs we hate to buy shit we don't need" Live below your means. Tune out from all the consumerism. Suddenly you find that you have enough savings built up that you could support yourself for multiple years without working. Now you ar…

Think of this equation: happiness = things_you_have - things_you_want It's much easier to reduce your desires than it is to buy new stuff. Your resources are scarce and your desires infinite. If you can convince yourself you have everything you want already nothing can touch you. Write down a list of reasons to not buy the new hotness. Stoicism has more to say on this, for example negative visualization. If you feel…

It sounds corny, but happiness is something you decide, not because of something. In all situations, you can choose to embrace your experiences and do everything you can about them to the fullest, or not. This can take an instant, and it can take a lifetime. Whenever we can't feel comfortable, we can do stuff we know further the constructive narrative of our lives. This narrative when nurtured and fed, will grow as exponential potential, unseen until unleashed on the world. The nurturing and sharpening of your own willpower, requires to leave outcomes to the higher good, trust and faith in that you've put in your part and that you continue to charge up.

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#84
post #14

Excuse me, but what about prolonged periods of depression? I am hoarding an appropriate amount of resources specifically to not suffer when things go south. This also implies a different than usual choice of assets (at most a very small allocation to the S&P500 for me; I am not looking to get rich, but to survive).

That might mean you have minimal to few hobbies and nobody whom you care about to share them with. I don't mean join groups, I mean actually make friends. They can be completely superficial. It gives you a reason to step outside your comfort zone and do something you hate but with a smile.

I just mean there's a reason why one would work hard(er) even if one has limited faith in in-group mentality and peer approval/status, and that is building reserves. BTW, you don't need a lot of reserves.

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#85
post #37
post #14

Excuse me, but what about prolonged periods of depression? I am hoarding an appropriate amount of resources specifically to not suffer when things go south. This also implies a different than usual choice of assets (at most a very small allocation to the S&P500 for me; I am not looking to get rich, but to survive).

> This also implies a different than usual choice of assets Care to elaborate on what specifically you are investing in? Seems like if you were wanting to survive "things going south" that would entail productive farm land and some sort of "back to the land" style prepper homesteading.

Gold, inflation-linked things like beaten down oil/commodity stocks, apartments in fundamentally different locations (preferably cheap), but also cash for deflation (or bonds, but bonds are really no longer a thing since covid put a final nail into the yields, imho). And it's all about % allocation. S&P500 is great if you use it right, besides most of us already have a large exposure to the "US stock the world beater superman" via engineer salaries.

Farmland would be perfect, but unless you're actually a farmer and know how to survive on your own this is simply not in your reach. I'm just a software guy, really like this profession, but doing software mostly precludes having the knowledge of a farmer.

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#86
post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Think of this equation: happiness = things_you_have - things_you_want It's much easier to reduce your desires than it is to buy new stuff. Your resources are scarce and your desires infinite. If you can convince yourself you have everything you want already nothing can touch you. Write down a list of reasons to not buy the new hotness. Stoicism has more to say on this, for example negative visualization. If you feel…

It sounds corny, but happiness is something you decide , not because of something. In all situations, you can choose to embrace your experiences and do everything you can about them to the fullest, or not. This can take an instant, and it can take a lifetime. Whenever we can't feel comfortable, we can do stuff we know further the constructive narrative of our lives. This narrative when nurtured and fed, will grow as…

I think I can sum up your point as: happiness and satisfaction are two different things. Satisfaction is fleeting, and happiness can be had anytime except when someone actively opposes us - moves us when we want to stand still or stops us when we want to go.

We're happy as long as we're going vaguely where we know we should be able to, to get what gives us satisfaction

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#87

This article is not about escaping the rat race but about winning it. Reinvesting and having long-term goals is just the best strategy to make the most. It's kind of doubling down on the rat race. The status game is actually a valid strategy since, unlike developers, most people don't live in a merit-based society. Strong people associate with strong people. So whoever needs resources also has to appear strong. For n…

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think there is anything at all about developers which would set them apart from the hoi polloi. The vast majority of developers do not live in a merit based society. They are just as much subject to the requirements of appearing strong as anyone else. They have to pitch to win, just like anyone else.

I really thought the belief in tech company meritocracy died more than ten years ago.

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#88

This article is not about escaping the rat race but about winning it. Reinvesting and having long-term goals is just the best strategy to make the most. It's kind of doubling down on the rat race. The status game is actually a valid strategy since, unlike developers, most people don't live in a merit-based society. Strong people associate with strong people. So whoever needs resources also has to appear strong. For n…

> The easiest way to escape the rat race is to keep racing I don't think that is how it works.

Don't ignore the second sentence. A marathon distance can be a three day comfortable walk.

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#89
post #41

>The extra you’re paying for a Porche, for example, has more to do with the message you want to convey to others, not with the usefulness of the product itself. One of my best friends, who does better dating wise than anyone I know, drove a 98 Volvo. He was making well over 150k, but had so much quiet confidence he had no need to project anything. I make a similar amount, still wear clothes from Old Navy and when I d…

Perhaps you and your friend are status signaling by signaling you don't have to status signal.

Love this comment!

Re: How to Escape the Modern Rat Race

#90
post #86
post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It sounds corny, but happiness is something you decide , not because of something. In all situations, you can choose to embrace your experiences and do everything you can about them to the fullest, or not. This can take an instant, and it can take a lifetime. Whenever we can't feel comfortable, we can do stuff we know further the constructive narrative of our lives. This narrative when nurtured and fed, will grow as…

I think I can sum up your point as: happiness and satisfaction are two different things. Satisfaction is fleeting, and happiness can be had anytime except when someone actively opposes us - moves us when we want to stand still or stops us when we want to go. We're happy as long as we're going vaguely where we know we should be able to, to get what gives us satisfaction

It's a very basic principle: If someone is immobile, sitting and only resting, not doing what they're supposed to do, they may become deeply depressed and unhappy people.

If you go for your quest in life, you may become very fulfilled and happy even when failing to obtain any end goals.

There are of course no guarantees or strict rules in life, so are just very general cause-and-effects in play.

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