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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#711

Post by wkat4242 »

margalabargala wrote: post #708
wkat4242 wrote: post #690

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many. And I don't even mind but it's usually really bad porn. Also it's not like anyone does anything, they just sit there and pretend they're not interested or ignore it. It's really weird. Also a kind of macho thing I think. Anyway in Holland this is not uncommon. I have nothing against pornography at all but I do have a minimum quality :) I like the more stylish stuff. Though I prefer watching people in real life,…

It sounds like when you say you go to "male specific" events, you have a very specific set of male-specific events in mind. I suspect the experiences you described earlier are less due to the male-ness of those present, and more simply a function of the social events you tend to go to? Like, not that that's a bad thing- live your lice how you want- but complaints of "my complaint with all-male gatherings is that the…

That wasn't the only complaint :) It was more the overall uninterested feel and senseless macho behavior that maybe they have pent up being with the wife or something and they need to act the tool to justify their manhood. Or to forget the day to day family routine or something. Most of the time they sit around bored.

What my friends don't know is that I'm pretty 'liberal'. And I don't have this pent up need for horseplay. I get enough of the more real kind of play :) I just felt so out of sync. It's just so senseless and not enjoyable at all.

The kind of event is pretty common in Holland. It's a pretty typical thing for male friends to go off for a weekend once a year or so in a cabin somewhere. I've done it with several different groups.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#712

Post by codeguro »

renewiltord wrote: post #532
alpaca128 wrote: post #358

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's great that you have a good social life, but calling this problem illusory based on just your anecdotal experience is just denying reality when you look at statistics: > 52% of Americans report feeling lonely while 47% report their relationships with others are not meaningful > 55% of London residents say they feel lonely > Social isolation is a problem in Europe: 18% of its citizens, the equivalent of 75 million…

These all have the smell of “50% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck” type nonsense and there are sufficient counter findings that I don’t think there’s any good evidence here https://news.gallup.com/poll/470888/americans-largely-satisf... I think I’m likely correct. This is a manufactured crisis like seed oils, or ADHD and autism diagnoses. Nothing is actually getting worse.

ADHD is caused by a defective gene involving the DAT1 transporter causing it to be overactive. This causes a deficit of dopamine that predominantly impacts the right dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (there are other parts impacted too, but this one is the most apparent). The brain compromises with novelty seeking behavior to rebalance the neurochemistry as a depression response, and this outwardly manifests as distractibility.

Don’t talk of things you have no clue about. Saying ADHD is “manufactured” is downright harmful. And yes, stimulants do treat it, and do so very effectively. I encourage you to learn more about it from Dr. Russell Barkley, the leading authority on the subject. He does well to dismantle the myths and stipulations and is very knowledgeable. He even has a youtube channel where he elaborately breaks down the studies in a way the common man can understand.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#713

Post by boppo1 »

williamdclt wrote: post #422
JimDabell wrote: post #259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. I selectively pulled out the bits that I thought were relevant instead of quoting the whole thing. I know he said that it’s been good, but taken in relation to the rest of the article, I don’t place much weight on it. The women persistently pressured the men to join, the men were apprehensive, they allowed them in for one morning, one morning turned into all the time, women now comprise 50% of the group, and the…

> that’s not the story that the article was telling. It is though? Reading the article, I'm fully getting a sense that its point is that it was an improvement for everyone (despite the article describing it as being triggered from nagging from the women). Now you can choose not to believe that, but that _is_ the story the article was telling, or at least it's how I understand it.

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#714

Post by boppo1 »

SiempreViernes wrote: post #391
xandrius wrote: post #375

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with the post, if the genders were reversed, people wouldn't generally feel this open about it.

That's because the genders aren't valued equally by society, so they don't permute. Once gender equality is established they could switched and the statements would be equivalent.

>Once gender equality is established

Lol if you don't think it has been already, you never will.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#715

Post by boppo1 »

iteria wrote: post #603
_DeadFred_ wrote: post #562

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My son was the gentlest soul. He did city year to help inner city youth with their schooling. He has a very liberal sexuality. He loves and accepts everyone. He has gone over to the dark side and I am heartbroken. The final straw was he built up a business from scratch, with the laid out plan that if he got it running and was successful he would run it. Once it was all successfully running the promise was broken and…

Okay. Let's say everything you said was true. Why is it acceptable for white men to say, "hey, I'm being discriminated against, I would like to oppress everyone else so I can feel better" instead of what historically oppressed minorities do which is advocate for the better of their demographic even in the face of opposition. This difference in action is why I think that people have a hard time having empathy. These s…

> advocate for the better of their demographic even in the face of opposition

Whenever they do that they get told their problems aren't real, and that they are, in fact, the problem. You're doing it right in this post:

>Let's say everything you said was true.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#716

Post by boppo1 »

_DeadFred_ wrote: post #640
meheleventyone wrote: post #626

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can have a lot of empathy for someone who had explicit promises broken but apart from this sounding like a completely made up story it has no bearing on his skin color or sex. People are taken advantage of all the time and promises, even contracts are broken all the time. Your 'son' has taken the route of victimization rather than taking the high road. Getting screwed over is one thing, turning that in to bigotry i…

Wow, glad you can tell I'm a liar based on absolutely nothing. People can have down/shitty bits without just throwing them away/writing them off as irredeemable. Especially when they are frustrated over a specific event. Frustration that normally we try and help them leave behind. But for some reason in this situation 1. It's not true/didn't happen and 2. My son is trash for caring about it. I'm not around this stuff…

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#717

Post by boppo1 »

LexiMax wrote: post #663
steveBK123 wrote: post #435

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I dunno, generationally we may be correcting a problem that will soon no longer exist, or even invert. Women are attending and graduating college in higher numbers than men in GenZ. Much of the man-o-sphere GenZ rightward turn seems to be resentment at society being sure what the use of men is anymore. That is, from a very young age girls are told they can do/be whatever they want. Often now, boys are described in te…

> I do think we do need to solve the male part of the equation after spending the last 50 years raising women up. When left-wing progressives talk about dismantling...let's just call it the "p-word", dismantling the expectations about what a man should and shouldn't be is very much part of that. The system victimizes men as much as women, and we should be tearing that system down, not leaning back into it in a misgui…

[flagged]

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#718

Post by boppo1 »

aaronbaugher wrote: post #615
fragmede wrote: post #570

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> > But he added: "It's a lovely atmosphere, and it's been good." Which man, who ever wants to get laid again, would be stupid enough to give anything short of an absolutely glowing review about that change to a reporter .

Yeah, you can imagine the headline they'd put on that one. And that's how the ratchet works. Go to any subreddit that talks about relationships, and every time there's a man versus woman scenario, unless it's very clear that the woman was in the wrong, nearly all the women will side with the woman. But half the men will also side with the woman, because they don't want to offend the women -- even anonymous women on t…

/r/askmenover30 and /r/askmenadvice are not like you describe (yet).

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#719

Post by boppo1 »

idiotsecant wrote: post #548
SiempreViernes wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Funny, because the traditional role of a women is exactly to be the one who hears all these hard things and helps the man overcome them. Extra funny hat women should be excluded so men can talk about feeling lonely and how they wish they had a woman.

Phew, I have very rarely heard something so wrong. Women are absolutely not traditionally an emotional support for men. In fact, being vulnerable in that way as a man is just about the surest way to make most women suddenly quite uninterested. Every woman has a story where some important man cries in front of her for the only time. In his entire life . Women want men to be emotionally open as it applies to supporting…

Wish they'd taught me this when I was young. They told me being open and vulnerable was attractive.

They also told me I had to verbally ask girls if it was okay to kiss them and if they didn't verbally say yes I was assaulting them.

Intimacy has not been absent from my life, but it has had a very small role.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#720

Post by boppo1 »

jim-jim-jim wrote: post #287
subscribed wrote: post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh, but why if they're having a functional clubs already? I feel like men only spaces in the UK are frowned upon (see Garrick club narration). No matter the reason, the only way single sex spaces work here is women only.

I'm under the impression that women's only spaces are very much frowned upon in the English speaking world, whether it be in sports, book awards, knitting circles, toilets, or prisons. This isn't an x-has-it-worse comment by the way. I think every demographic is entitled to self-segregate without shame, and the ladies definitely face their own struggles in achieving this.

>I'm under the impression that women's only spaces are very much frowned upon in the English speaking world

That is the impression you would get from online journalism. The reality is basically the opposite. Women's only spaces are celebrated and the narrative is that they're brave and strong and defiant and resisting sexist oppression. 80-90% of men are totally ambivalent about it.

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