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What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

bbc.com

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Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#551

Post by frontman1988 »

weakfortress wrote: post #250
pnutjam wrote: post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm convinced most of the issues with rolling on babies is people who take medication or drink. Maybe I'm wrong. SIDS is totally different.

You would be wrong. I suppose it's anecdata but a member of my family who works in pedatrics sees this regularly unfortunately. Usually it's these new-age parents that think co-sleeping is somehow beneficial. You fall into a deep enough sleep, it takes almost no time at all to seriously injure or kill your child. Frankly, co-sleeping with a baby is irresponsibility of the highest form. It may have worked for the GP b…

Nearly the entire world except America and Western Europe "cosleeps" with their babies. And this has been happening for thousands of years. Unless you are morbidly obese(which again quite a lot of Americans are), you won't accidently kill your child while sleeping.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#552

Post by shawabawa3 »

rgbrgb wrote: post #315
eslaught wrote: post #286

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In case it's not obvious to everyone reading here, no one recommends using the cry it out method on infants younger than six months. For younger infants, you should always respond as quickly as possible. Our doctor recommended that we have at least one person sleeping in the same room, but in a different bed, for the first six months. Then we gradually transitioned to allowing him to put himself to sleep, and I final…

Our doctor (Kaiser) said 4 months fwiw.

I read between 4 and 6 months, when they hit the first regression where they switches from 45min to 90min sleep cycles

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#553

Post by ngoilapites »

unity1001 wrote: post #532
shaklee3 wrote: post #520

Earlier quoted context omitted.

ah, yes! link to a group of people who didn't like the outcome of a study, so they wrote about it with links to older studies that the more comprehensive one already addressed. of course, said people didn't bother to do their own study, but needed to get it off their chests how mad it makes them that the newer/more data-driven studies go against their instincts.

> ah, yes! link to a group of people who didn't like the outcome of a study, so they wrote about it That study criticizes the methods and samples of the study you trust in. Its something fundamental, not 'opinionated'. > data-driven studies go against their instincts. What part of a 40 or 200 sample set is 'data driven'. How many of those children are 40 years old. How many of them have passed through the chaos of te…

Those ignoring babies won't hear you, we are the only family in my village that respond to crying calls, and these parents get defensive on this topic, they need to believe...

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#554

Post by julienfr112 »

metabagel wrote: post #328
awillen wrote: post #300

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's astounding to me that so many people on HN, a place where folks generally profess to be driven by science and data, are in this thread just casually throwing around anecdotes and comments about evolutionary instinct while completely ignoring the actual science and data. Doubly so when so many of the comments are pretty vicious towards people who sleep train their babies.

https://www.attachmentparenting.org/ensure-safe-sleep-physic... >>Parents who are frustrated with frequent waking or who are sleep deprived may be tempted to try sleep training techniques that recommend letting a baby cry in an effort to "teach" him to "self-soothe". >>Research shows us that an infant is not neurologically or developmentally capable of calming or soothing himself to sleep in a way that is healthy. Th…

"his intense feeling" measured in what unit ?

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#555

Post by nraf »

For those not sure about sleep training, I would like to suggest this program as an alternative: https://www.georginamaysleep.com/

No affiliation at all, just a gentler alternative that worked for us.

I understand there may be no one-size-fits-all and each family and child are unique, but from my anecdotal experience, with my wife implementing the above program with our third child, it had a major positive impact on her (my wife's) psyche and anxiety surrounding infant sleep (especially when compared to our first two children). It also helped my sister with her child.

I'm far from an expert on the program as my wife did all the heavy lifting, but at it's core, it revolves around building up sleep pressure during the day so that the child is ready and able to sleep at night. I see some overlap with the stuff Andrew Huberman talks about in his podcast.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#556

Post by bongoman37 »

pictureofabear wrote: post #435
TeMPOraL wrote: post #419

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because it's a chemical ! A hormone ! Because you're dosing your kid with a drug ! You're taking the easy way out! You're using a shortcut to cover for your inability to endure the first few days of ${sleep training method}! These and similar kinds of bullshit judgements.

They aren't bullshit judgments; they are concerns about unproven methods.

[dead]

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#557

Post by zhdc1 »

conqueso wrote: post #150

The fact that this is so commonplace in my culture (USA) is frustrating and enrages me. As a parent, it is your evolutionary instinct to comfort a crying infant. They are quite literally helpless and look to caretakers for all their needs. There's a deep seated biological reason it feels bad to ignore it. The fact that it is so uncommon in other cultures should make this obvious. What are the odds that the rest of th…

> It is very much possible to co-sleep and then gradually transition them to their own bed

A counter argument (trigger warning): https://www.reddit.com/r/nursing/comments/zls30p/cosleeping/

We co-slept with our second child, but only after taking a lot of precautions.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#558

Post by epolanski »

metabagel wrote: post #350
epolanski wrote: post #297

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Teaching a child that their call for help will not be answered is unkind and damaging You don't know that, there is no evidence for it and it definitely depends on the age. Your post is drammatically different when speaking about a newborn, a 6 or a 12 or 18 months old. Babies absolutely need to learn to self soothe and that crying won't always meet attention too. The idea that unattending a crying baby here and th…

There's plenty of evidence for it. Read the books by Dr. Bruce Perry. Read about attachment theory. If you read his books, what you will also find is that children respond differently to trauma. So, some children may not be harmed at all by childhood trauma, while others may be deeply affected. The basic fallacy here is that children under the age of three can self-soothe. They cannot. This is all part of infant deve…

Babies after 12 months are no longer infants.

And yes, babies can self soothe, that's the entire point of the article we're commenting, letting them cry it out so they learn to calm themselves.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#559

Post by omnibrain »

komali2 wrote: post #415
jpambrun wrote: post #360

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my culture women want to work and have a carrers as well.

Nice, same, I think the "cultural problem" comment is not saying that the problem is that "women are going to work" but rather that "the parents have to be away from the child for the majority of the time, or they will all be homeless and hungry." I'm not sure which country the OP is discussing, likely one without good maternity/paternity laws and whatnot, which is really sad to hear about, I hope more citizens deman…

I'm posting from a German perspective and have to admit, that we still have major problems with gender imbalances on income (for more complex reasons) and the ability for women having careers, but every parent has the right to parental leave for up to 3 years (take fulltime off, or part time!) and one of those is paid (by the state, so by the taxpayer in the end) with up to 1800€/month.

Actually taking 3 years off is depending on the job still a bump in the career road, but I'm optimistic that we are getting there.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#560

Post by epolanski »

metabagel wrote: post #335
epolanski wrote: post #310

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What if that approach of over protecting brings up a future lazy, spoiled, weak willed adult that will conduct miserable lives because up to 36 months all their brain saw is that crying always got them attentions and everything they wanted? You don't know whether your approach is the best one, I don't, speak with as many professionals you can.

Children under the age of three aren't capable of self-soothing. If they're quiet when you abandon them, it's because they've given up hope.

You don't know that, you're not inside their brain nor you're a scientist studying the matter.

There is no evidence behind your claim.

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