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The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

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Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#551

Post by scarmig »

irrational wrote: post #480

My 21 and 23 year old daughters have moved back in with us. They stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching streaming media, then wake up mid afternoon to get on social media, eat dinner with us and then repeat. I can't wait till they leave. At least when they are living on their own I don't have to know about their bad habits.

Not to dig too deeply into a single example, but... what should they be doing? Are they employed or in school? If not, what is your expectation of what they should be doing?

I agree that if they're living with you, they should probably be doing chores, cooking, and getting some exercise in. But if they're financially constrained and have nothing to do, futzing about on the Internet and social media isn't a particularly bad use of time (even if it's also not a particularly good one).

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#552

Post by GiorgioG »

irrational wrote: post #480

My 21 and 23 year old daughters have moved back in with us. They stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching streaming media, then wake up mid afternoon to get on social media, eat dinner with us and then repeat. I can't wait till they leave. At least when they are living on their own I don't have to know about their bad habits.

And they aren’t pulling their weight in your home why?

There’s plenty of work to be done around the house. Turn off the internet at 11pm. They’ll either get with the program or move out ASAP.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#553

Post by kelnos »

munificent wrote: post #464

I really love the quote at the end: > I'm a dad who is happy to have his daughter and fiancé living with me. They pay the utilities and make me nice meals, and it makes it a lot less lonely here. ... I like the multi-generational thing. I know it won't last forever, but it makes life better for now. It's so easy to get into that cold statistical mindset about these large-scale trends, but it's good to remember that t…

It's also useful to note that the "nuclear family" is a very Western thing, and the US takes it to an extreme. In other parts of the world it's abnormal for adults in their 20s to be living anywhere but with their parents, often even with a fiance or new spouse in the mix.

The idea that having a multi-generational household means that the younger members haven't "grown up" and need to "learn to live on their own" is a completely manufactured attitude. I think many American families would have much stronger, more healthy inter-generational relationships if we lived together (at least for a bit) as adults. As it is now, most US kids leave home just when they're starting to be able to meaningfully contribute to the household as equals.

(Having said that, I definitely feel the pull of childhood and societal expectations. When I was a new adult I was thrilled to be out of my parents' house, and could never have imagined moving back there. I'm nearly 40 now, and thinking about the possibility of living in my parents' house during my 20s still feels weird to me.)

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#554

Post by sandworm101 »

irrational wrote: post #480

My 21 and 23 year old daughters have moved back in with us. They stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching streaming media, then wake up mid afternoon to get on social media, eat dinner with us and then repeat. I can't wait till they leave. At least when they are living on their own I don't have to know about their bad habits.

>>They stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching streaming media

That is how young people keep contact with their collective culture. Do you expect them to sit in the corner reading newspapers?

>> then wake up mid afternoon

Efficient time-sharing of common areas. I have to haul myself into work before 6am, but when I get a day off I sleep as long as possible. That is healthy.

>> to get on social media,

Social media is can be a career. Parents once laughed at kids who wanted to be on TV. That isn't a joke anymore. Now the want to be hot on social media. That is as valid a career choice as wanting to be an actor or pro athlete.

>>> eat dinner with us and then repeat.

They eat dinner with their parents? That is a problem? I know plenty of parents, mine included, who would love to have their kids eat at the same table.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#555

Post by dang »

jeremysalwen wrote: post #511
irrational wrote: post #480

My 21 and 23 year old daughters have moved back in with us. They stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching streaming media, then wake up mid afternoon to get on social media, eat dinner with us and then repeat. I can't wait till they leave. At least when they are living on their own I don't have to know about their bad habits.

I'm guessing that they can sense the way you feel about them. It probably makes interacting with other people through social media more pleasant than interacting with you.

I'm sure you didn't mean it to, but commenting that way crosses into personal attack. Please don't do that.

Family connections are the most emotional things in our lives. It's one thing to comment on one's own experience, but quite another to step into judging someone else's. It's usually best to stick to the former, since that's almost all we're really talking about anyway.

I realize that the GP comment was provocative but we need to find other ways to react to provocation than butting heads—otherwise we just spiral into conflict.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#556

Post by dmitrygr »

thinkharderdev wrote: post #477
jbay808 wrote: post #467

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The demand for ultra-expensive housing in places like the Bay Area is driven by the huge earning potential of the high-skilled labor market. Maybe the Bay area, but that's (sadly) not the case in places like Vancouver and Victoria. Sky high property prices, but no corresponding earning potential.

I've never quite been able to figure out what happened in Vancouver. It's a great city with a tech scene but salaries there seem very low (by American tech worker standards). Who is actually buying all these multi-million dollar bungalow? None of the senior-level engineers I've worked with from the area would ever be able to even sniff being able to afford that.

Chinese bureaucrats looking to park some money outside china's financial system. Some west coast cities even instituted special taxes to try to prevent this.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/for-chinese-home-buyers-seattle...

https://www.businessinsider.com/middle-class-chinese-buyers-...

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/chinese-investors-buy-more...

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#557

Post by mandelbrotwurst »

tanilama wrote: post #526
munificent wrote: post #464

I really love the quote at the end: > I'm a dad who is happy to have his daughter and fiancé living with me. They pay the utilities and make me nice meals, and it makes it a lot less lonely here. ... I like the multi-generational thing. I know it won't last forever, but it makes life better for now. It's so easy to get into that cold statistical mindset about these large-scale trends, but it's good to remember that t…

I agree. I don't like what the title tries to suggest that living with your parents is something wrong/abnormal? Why is that? I understand for many it is not a choice, but it doesn't necessarily meaning people are suffering as a result.

The American status quo is based on around individual independence and for better or for worse anything that moves away from that is considered a regression.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#558

Post by bergie »

dcolkitt wrote: post #246

> Housing is more expensive for them than prior generations I harp on this constantly. But housing is not more expensive in the majority of American metros. Adjusted for inflation the median cost per square foot of new housing is almost exactly the same as it was in 1990. (This doesn't even take into account that mortgage rates are drastically lower since then.) We get skewed on this for two reasons. One is because h…

You make it sound like fire safety is a luxury people could and should live without.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#559

Post by klmadfejno »

mywittyname wrote: post #296
tidepod12 wrote: post #284

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>One is because homes today are substantially larger and have more amenities than they did in previous generations. I have noticed that most of my fellow millennials seem to have completely forgotten the concept of "starter home" and assume that as soon as you turn 25 you should be entitled to a 4 bedroom house with a pool, huge yard, wonderful neighborhood, three-car garage, etc. Among my friends that have bought ho…

> I have noticed that most millenials seem to have completely forgotten the concept of "starter home" and assume that as soon as you turn 25 you should be entitled to a 4 bedroom house with a pool, huge yard, wonderful neighborhood, three-car garage, etc. "Starter homes" for young people is the stuff that was built 30-40 years ago that hasn't been updated. So they are buying those mcmansions because that's what was b…

On top of this, if you buy a house that is 40 years old, it's more likely to have problems and deteriorate in the future. Housing is, frankly, terrifying as a financial asset. If it goes up, great! If it goes down, you can easily lose YEARS worth of wages when sold at a loss, if you're able to sell it at all.

I would have not much of a problem living in an old place. I'd have a lot of skepticism to conquer about purchasing one.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#560

Post by dang »

chillwaves wrote: post #496
irrational wrote: post #480

My 21 and 23 year old daughters have moved back in with us. They stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching streaming media, then wake up mid afternoon to get on social media, eat dinner with us and then repeat. I can't wait till they leave. At least when they are living on their own I don't have to know about their bad habits.

Speaking from the younger generations perspective, this is a great way to destroy the relationship with your adult children. I'm sure it doesn't feel great for them to be dependent on you and face your scorn on a daily basis. I just hope the situation will never be reversed, for your sake.

Please don't post like this here. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24496544 for more explanation.
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