Anxious tech workers are going to therapy • Hacker News Board

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#51

Post by BurningFrog » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:52 PM UTC

CalRobert wrote: post #33

Every minute spent not fighting climate apocalypse is a fucking waste of time. And I waste most of my time, because I can't find a way to fight while staying solvent (this month I'm buying a roof to fix the leaky one, for instance). In another thread the clathrate gun is about to go off big time https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21026051 Anxiety is pretty warranted when you're literally looking at the end of civil…

The world isn't ending. It's probably not a bad idea for you to talk to someone.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#52

Post by AnIdiotOnTheNet » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:53 PM UTC

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

No, they shouldn't. Don't seek treatment unless you need it. Anyone telling you otherwise is marketing.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#53

Post by filmgirlcw » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:53 PM UTC

eeZah7Ux wrote: post #47

filmgirlcw wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. It isn’t a tech worker thing, it’s a human thing. The $400 I spend for a single session with my psychiatrist (he’s the rare MD who also does and is excellent at therapy — when he retires I’m seriously not sure what I’m going to do) is the best money I spend each month.

Is it a 6 hours session for that insane amount of money?

Sadly no. It’s an hour. He doesn’t take insurance (most good psychiatrists don’t take insurance — I could conceivably manually submit claims and get some of it back but it’s not worth the hassle) and it costs what it costs.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#54

Post by AnIdiotOnTheNet » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:53 PM UTC

whatshisface wrote: post #11

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Can't people without medical grade issues talk to their wife/husband?

But who will make money on that?

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#55

Post by Bootwizard » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:54 PM UTC

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Welcome. I spent the last 6 months doing exactly the same thing and was able to create enough time to start the company I've been talking about for years.

Social media is a curse on our society's mental wellbeing, even if it can be a very useful tool in spreading important information.

I'm actually working on a book which documents my process I developed to do this for myself. Mental models, different perspectives on your habits and vices, etc. Please let me know if you have anything that's worked for you. I think this is something everyone should do.

I haven't seeked help from professionals yet but I will definitely consider it.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#56

Post by whalesalad » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:55 PM UTC

Bootwizard wrote: post #55

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Welcome. I spent the last 6 months doing exactly the same thing and was able to create enough time to start the company I've been talking about for years. Social media is a curse on our society's mental wellbeing, even if it can be a very useful tool in spreading important information. I'm actually working on a book which documents my process I developed to do this for myself. Mental models, different perspectives on…

Update your profile with an email address! I’d love to stay in touch.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#57

Post by rhcom2 » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:57 PM UTC

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #52

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

No, they shouldn't. Don't seek treatment unless you need it. Anyone telling you otherwise is marketing.

OP suggested everyone needs it at some point or another which I 100% agree with. Also there is no magic way to know if you "need it". If a person is considering it, they should try it.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#58

Post by ericwood » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:59 PM UTC

erokar wrote: post #26

If your job is making you unhappy, therapy will just be a band-aid. The solution is to quit and find something better to do.

Or, as was my case, going to therapy will help you come to the realization that your job is what was making you unhappy. I couldn't imagine many therapists would try to convince you to stay somewhere that was causing stress/anxiety.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#59

Post by dbcurtis » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:59 PM UTC

skizm wrote: post #32

erokar wrote: post #26

If your job is making you unhappy, therapy will just be a band-aid. The solution is to quit and find something better to do.

Where can I find someone that will pay me a living wage to read fantasy novels, go to the gym, play video games, and occasionally travel?

A friend of mine was a video game producer for about 15 years... kinds sounds like his job?? Except he was a dad and not a gym rat, YMMV.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#60

Post by whalesalad » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 3:00 PM UTC

geddy wrote: post #50

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

> I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change Yes, this is exactly it! Perfectly summarized my day-to-day after doing everything you listed on that first paragraph. Hackernews a few times a day at most for no more than 5 minutes at a time is all the social media for me. Not seeing a therapist or anything but my outdoor activities are therapy for me personally, in their own way. Started ridin…

Absolutely! For years I’ve had my phone on a mode where I do not get notified of anything but emails and all the special VIP stuff so my wife/family can reach me. It actually began because a bud of mine tends to text like he is on AIM. He will send three words at a time and blow me up with a dozen notifications for one cognitive thought.

Anyway... my phone is beholden to me. I choose when I open apps. I have notifications disabled for virtually everything. I also have it on perma-silent. It will vibrate once for certain things... and ring only when those aforementioned special people call me. At 9pm it goes into do not disturb. At 7am it goes back to normal.

My wife on the other hand... good grief. She is a solo dog walker / sitter and is getting bookings CONSTANTLY. Her phone sounds like R2-D2 having an aneurism. I’m working on her... but she has insane FOMO since she is still gaining a strong foothold in our community. It’s tough to talk to her about this stuff because she’s right in the midst of it: anxious, worried she will miss client messages, worried she will miss a booking, etc... so until that dies down a bit it’s not even worth pursuing with her. I hope she can eventually get to this level, though, and realize that she will be much happier when she controls her attention instead of allowing others to do it.