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Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

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Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#421

Post by mr_cyborg »

louwrentius wrote: post #127
thenerdhead wrote: post #59

> I feel like I've hit my zenith already and it's just a slow decline from here on out. I’ve been dreading this day because it’s a sad reminder of that. Sounds like you need to take some serious time to consider who you are. Not the person who accomplished these things in life, but the reason you were given a body and put on this planet to do something. I had a similar moment after I read "Man's search for meaning" b…

I’ve read Man’s search for meaning by Frankle although it was moving, his personal motivation / source of meaning (religion) doesn’t work for those who aren’t religious.

"We can discover the meaning of life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering."

This is the key takeaway from that book for me, no religion needed.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#422

Post by newusertoday »

watch this channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCczNzQ01CxIGD7hMyRqcW4g . Go through the videos one day at a time. I am recommending it because its message is very simple, you can understand the teaching in 5 mins and if it "clicks" with you. You will start becoming more and more peaceful.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#424

Post by entropyie »

I have a similar story. Although not quite as old, accomplished or rich, i started as a teenager and could retire comfortably at 50. One thing I don't see mentioned by others is that ultimately, helping and giving to others can bring huge meaning to life. One does not have to go far on this planet to see hardship, suffering and injustice. You could choose to work for a company that has a more direct impact on people's lives. Or you could volunteer in your spare time. When I retire I intend to work on software and IT support for community groups, non profits. Give free consultation to human rights organizations. Volunteer at local repair cafes, teach children how to hack on Raspberry PIs... Invest in small businesses in Africa, help them bootstrap. There is endless work to be done to improve the world, and frankly I find people who are less self centered (not a criticism btw) seem to be happier.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#425

Post by bartimus »

toshk wrote: post #252
bravura wrote: post #116

A lot of comments have said "stay in therapy" or "quit therapy", but my immediate reaction is that maybe you have the wrong (ineffective) therapist and need to switch . My spidey sense went up when you mentioned what "you told your therapist", full stop. I was at least expecting "what my therapist responded" or "what my therapist told me that didn't work". That really (spidey sense, no evidence really) implies that y…

This is not a problem of therapy, but a question of meaning. We need meaning in live. And for a long time religion gave that. But we threw that out. We now try to get "profesional therapy help". But it hardly has any scientific backing, and no one but religion has been able (even though it fails often) been offer te give any deeper answer to the question to "whats the meaning of it all". The best solutions people lik…

So then a religious therapist. I think the takeaway is to seek professional help.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#426

Post by tpoacher »

reciprocity wrote: post #399
atombum wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Excellent book indeed. Was monumentally influential in changing my perspective on the world.

That is high praise. Could you elaborate a bit?

the book was made into a documentary as well, if you want something easier, though the book itself is highly recommended.

the main thing I remember changing my way of thinking was the notion that many of our goals in life are simply conventions passed down uncritically (e.g. by parents , society, etc), which if you examine you might realise you are trying to conform to, but don't actually align with your core values, and may even be making you unhappy for no good reason.

e.g. in some cultures it's the whole "you should be a doctor or a lawyer", which has led to people who would have been happy artists becoming miserable doctors and lawyers instead.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#428

Post by michaellu »

what kept you going as the founding CTO? Was there anything other than money to motivate to you wake up and go to work?

You did well on that job obviously and the start-up had a good exit, but what was your goal beyond that?

I am not a climber, but I can imagine to a climber it must be horrible when he/she has accomplished all the climbing and there is nothing left to climb.

I look up to the people who are going strong well into their 70's and even 80's, even after they have achieved a great deal. It can't be money because they've got a load of it that they can't even spend it. I don't know what it is though but I can imagine that whatever it is that keeps them going, it's different from person to person.

Find what that is for you. It's ok to say that you don't have it, because seeking and finding it is work in and of itself. Find it and then connect with it, and you'll see there is much more to wake up to and so much more to work hard for.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#430

Post by innagadadavida »

Went through something similar. Here are a few things that helped; 1. Drink plenty of water when you wake up. 2. I had muscle stress issues and I got a PT and chiro to help with that. Surprisingly once the muscle issues got better, so did my mental state. 3. Walking around 1-2 miles a day. It clears up your mind and if you don’t have a working exercise routine this can be a great way to get you to go out.
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