Spend the next five years (or so) figuring out how you can use that money to make a positive difference in the world. That would top just earning it. And maybe you'll feel a little better about yourself, too.
Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
291–300 of 452 posts
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#292Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#293You've been playing a young man's game, seem to have done well, but are no longer young. You sound like a retired footballer.
So, start playing a game where you continue to get better as you get older. Then it's all up rather than down. Business is such a game. Invest, buy, build, whatever.
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#294Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#295I may be barking completely up the wrong tree here, but the first thing that came to my mind here was the situation described by Alain de Botton in Status Anxiety: namely spending a lifetime pursuing goals and values belonging to OTHER people (e.g. parents, society, etc), rather than your own. Then you achieve all these goals only to realise, what now. Great book, well worth a read. As an aside (same caveat about bar…
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#296It sounds like you're more financially successful than >99% of 40 year olds. You've earned the right to try new things. Do it! But also, keep doing more and possibly better therapy or a different therapist.
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#297Sorry you feel that way, I'll try to be frank here, if my advice isn't useful, just don't take it. I know a few people exactly like you, that like to boost about how well off they are and that are depressed and sad, but they treat life as it is a game of competition, this is why they usually start by displaying how "they've won", but in reality they were the only ones that were silly enough to only think about work.…
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#298From personal experience (I used to lie on the couch wishing I'd die every day for weeks) I can recommend the following three things:
* Move your body in sunlight. I'm not talking about becoming ripped or doing and Ironman or something crazy, I am simply talking about doing an amount and intensity of exercise you can sustain a couple of times a week every week outside when the sun is out. Once I did this for three weeks or so I found that this dreadful feeling of emptiness faded and that I hardly felt discontent anymore. These feelings return when I stop doing that which usually is my trigger to start again.
* Read & follow the book "The Happiness Trap" https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Livin...> I'd credit this book with the single biggest impact on my life. I remember crying from relief after doing one of the exercises.
* When you got yourself together somewhat I'd recommend having a child. It's the most fun and satisfaction I ever had in my whole life and it makes everything else so much better.
I hope this is useful to you and that you get better soon.
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#299A lot of comments have said "stay in therapy" or "quit therapy", but my immediate reaction is that maybe you have the wrong (ineffective) therapist and need to switch . My spidey sense went up when you mentioned what "you told your therapist", full stop. I was at least expecting "what my therapist responded" or "what my therapist told me that didn't work". That really (spidey sense, no evidence really) implies that y…
The problem with therapists is that they never say what they are doing, what approach they are taking or what techniques they are applying. This makes them less trustworthy, imho.
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#300Find them. Fix them.