411–420 of 898 posts
How did we even end up here? As a greybeard, messing with computers has always been fun for me. Yet somehow, slowly the system has morphed it into a way to grind talented people into the ground with impossible deadlines and insane demands - to the point where we need websites like this.
Guess it depends on how grey. If you saw garage tinkering turn into a new industry, it was probably fantastic. If you came up in the already industrialized times, a job's a job, right? From my perspective I'd say that programmers, in general, have it pretty good, as jobs go. That doesn't mean a programmer is going to be happy. You just might not be happier doing anything else, either, and you might even dislike it mo…
Probably, probably not. Maybe you know people who went on to became multibillionaires, whereas you're still tinkering and broke. I feel like I missed so, so many boats, and am in no position to catch the next one even if I could recognise it.
I recently experienced months of sleeping problems. Where I wouldn't sleep for days. Or would sleep a few hours. I would be exhausted and my head would hit the pillow and BAM adrenaline and I can hear my heart pounding and I'm awake. It got so bad I would go into the basement and destroy a wall that I kept repairing. I would cry in frustration. I started to have suicidal thoughts. It was harming my marriage and made…
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> Despite all of this, I still just feel like I want jump in my car and drive around the country for a few months. I want to get out. I miss having adventures. If you don't have any responsibilities besides yourself, then why not. If you're good at what you do I'm sure they would give you a 3 month leave, or let you work remote on the road. I did it when I was 27. No ragrets. Bought an RV and saw 36 states in around…
I have a girlfriend/soon to be wife that can't really go with me and I'd feel really bad stepping out of her life for a few months. I guess it could be something where I take a few months off and do a few days at home and then a week or so on the road and then a few days at home, etc.
I recently experienced months of sleeping problems. Where I wouldn't sleep for days. Or would sleep a few hours. I would be exhausted and my head would hit the pillow and BAM adrenaline and I can hear my heart pounding and I'm awake. It got so bad I would go into the basement and destroy a wall that I kept repairing. I would cry in frustration. I started to have suicidal thoughts. It was harming my marriage and made…
But jokes aside, good to hear you‘re feeling better. I can definitely see how going about the kind of low-effort but very satisfying and immersive activity that is WoW could be helpful for people having problems handling their stress levels.
All the best to you and your family!
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Good point. One way I could try to pre empt this is to say: "nobody was ever fired for answering 4 or 5 to this question" But I'm not sure how effective that would be.
I'm afraid I wouldn't believe you. With rare exceptions, management wants to hear 'no problem' and that 'everything is fine'. The next thing to do is a PowerPoint chart for the 2nd level managers showing names and stress levels over time with trends.
This makes me so sad. As a manager (formerly an engineer), I want to hear about problems as soon as possible! I can help! It's my job to clear roadblocks, to help find interesting projects, to keep the team working well together for the long term.
It doesn't do me, the engineer, the project, or the team any good to hide problems. Such a bummer when managers push for short term results over the long term health of the team.
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I'm really sorry. I can relate a little about the work anxiety, but a lot about the existential dread. While I don't have any pat answers for you, I'd like to encourage you about the existential anxiety you feel. If my personal experience is anything to by, you have a few reasons for hope on that front. First, unless you've thoroughly explored a lot of world views, you can hold out hope that you'll find one that you…
I've already put the effort into developing friendships... I moved back to my childhood home where I'm close to family and many of my life-long best friends. I see them all the time now. It doesn't matter. None of it is making me think life is worth it at this point. So what, so I get to see family and friends? Then what? I go back to bed and want to die again. My world view is mostly rooted in Camus's writing on the…
I recently experienced months of sleeping problems. Where I wouldn't sleep for days. Or would sleep a few hours. I would be exhausted and my head would hit the pillow and BAM adrenaline and I can hear my heart pounding and I'm awake. It got so bad I would go into the basement and destroy a wall that I kept repairing. I would cry in frustration. I started to have suicidal thoughts. It was harming my marriage and made…
This is great! I wasn‘t sure if I should try it again after getting hooked in my teens. But now I think I will just sell it as a mental health exercise to myself :D But jokes aside, good to hear you‘re feeling better. I can definitely see how going about the kind of low-effort but very satisfying and immersive activity that is WoW could be helpful for people having problems handling their stress levels. All the best…
More of a challenge as I grow older is finding those I feel I can speak with openly about anything. These days that's limited to professionals only, and if a therapy session or two get cancelled then I can become quite derailed.
For anyone out there struggling with what others think of you, something that gets me though the day is Derek Sivers's quote: "Be your unapologetically weird self." Don't get inappropriate in the workplace but remember that you bring something unique to the table (and that's probably why you were hired in the first place).
Quote in full:
“I gave a commencement speech in Minnesota few years ago [at the Carlson School of Management]. The core of it was to be your unapologetically weird self. I think authenticity is one of the most lacking things out there these days.” An excerpt from that speech: “Weirdness is why we adore our friends. . . . Weirdness is what bonds us to our colleagues. Weirdness is what sets us apart, gets us hired. Be your unapologetically weird self. In fact, being weird may even find you the ultimate happiness.” - Derek Sivers via Tools of Titans