Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why does the presence of women cause men to not have male friends?
The group dynamic changes the moment it is not single sex anymore.
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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
351–360 of 728 posts
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#352Earlier quoted context omitted.
> There's no reason women can't have something like this for themselves too you know. Women do have things like this. There are tons of female exclusive events and spaces in society still Men aren't allowed to have male-only gyms but women do That's only one example
> Men aren't allowed to have male-only gyms but women do Is that legally true? AFAICT, nobodies opening male-only gyms because there's no demand for them.
Maybe it depends on where you live, but no probably not illegal, just incredibly frown upon. I am member of a mens only sports club. We do have a few women, who we sort of had to allow as members, because they had no where else to go and we felt bad about that, but that only for one special program.
If you mention that the club is men only, some women becomes really aggressive and instantly want to become a member or have our public subsidy removed. The only fucking way to calm them down is to point out that there is a women only club right next door. Men doesn't try to invade spaces created for women by women, but women sure as hell cannot leave a mens only space alone. It triggers something in small group of women and they become obsessed trying to force their way in or have the thing shutdown.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#353Sometimes I wish we could have "gentlemen's clubs" of the sort that existed in Victorian Britain (not the US strip club version), third-spaces where one could go to read or converse or play cards with other men or even have a meal or a drink. Having social space that's limited to a set of people one knows, more or less, and that has rules on behavior seems like a civilizing influence that's missing today.
> Having social space that's limited to a set of people one knows, more or less, and that has rules on behavior seems like a civilizing influence that's missing today. You just described a country club, right down to the innate classism and exclusivity rules.
You also had Working Men's clubs and the British Legion for the working classes in the UK: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_men%27s_club
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#354[flagged]
What makes you believe that?
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#355[flagged]
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#356Earlier quoted context omitted.
"if you are real, you are likely to be recorded doing something someone somewhere on the largest stage in the world (the public web) that someone will disapprove of" -> is this a concern for many men? It's never crossed my mind or been a problem for anyone I've known. "they never have to break the ice and talk to those around them in the breakroom or geographical space" -> I've always talked to people at work and als…
> is this a concern for many men? It's never crossed my mind or been a problem for anyone I've known Yes, I talk to an older guy, probably mid-50s, at my gym. He completely stopped helping women at the gym or even giving advise. To my knowledge, no one ever accused him of anything, but he acknowledge that he absolutely have no experience talking to or otherwise interacting with younger women. He is terrified of doing…
> he absolutely have no experience talking to or otherwise interacting with younger women.
A sad fact of life, but at 50, most men aren't attractive to women 10 years younger than them, and it becomes pretty awkward and socially unacceptable to do anything that could be interpreted as flirting.
Now I don't know about the situation in gyms in the US, maybe the situation is extreme there. But generally speaking, I don't find it particularly sad if people mind their own business in the gym.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#357Earlier quoted context omitted.
The group dynamic changes the moment it is not single sex anymore.
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I don't think you need to exclude homosexuals. As a straight male, I interact with my homosexual buddies the same way I interact with my straight buddies. Women, gay or straight, interact differently, including those in whom I have no sexual interest.
If there was inappropriate behavior which wouldn't stop once called out, they would be excluded.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#358Is this really a problem? I get the feeling that the male loneliness epidemic is more described by people about others than themselves. For my part, the world doesn't seem that way at all. I have many friends who live close by and who are a part of my life. We play basketball and poker and board games together. We go to nearby bars occasionally and to each others' homes regularly. We lift together though I haven't be…
It's great that you have a good social life, but calling this problem illusory based on just your anecdotal experience is just denying reality when you look at statistics:
> 52% of Americans report feeling lonely while 47% report their relationships with others are not meaningful
> 55% of London residents say they feel lonely
> Social isolation is a problem in Europe: 18% of its citizens, the equivalent of 75 million people, are socially isolated
> 43% of those aged 17-25 feel lonely and less than half of them feel loved
> The suicide rate for persons aged 10–14 [..] nearly tripled from 2007 to 2017
https://www.rootsofloneliness.com/loneliness-statistics
> Thirty years ago, a majority of men (55 percent) reported having at least six close friends. Today, that number has been cut in half. Slightly more than one in four (27 percent) men have six or more close friends today. Fifteen percent of men have no close friendships at all, a fivefold increase since 1990
https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles...
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#359Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#360Earlier quoted context omitted.
Oh, but why if they're having a functional clubs already? I feel like men only spaces in the UK are frowned upon (see Garrick club narration). No matter the reason, the only way single sex spaces work here is women only.
I'm under the impression that women's only spaces are very much frowned upon in the English speaking world, whether it be in sports, book awards, knitting circles, toilets, or prisons. This isn't an x-has-it-worse comment by the way. I think every demographic is entitled to self-segregate without shame, and the ladies definitely face their own struggles in achieving this.
Your impression is mistaken.
E.g.
Girl Scouts: allowed to be girls only
Boy Scouts: now “Scouting” because girls are allowed
My intramural sports in college had coed and women only teams