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Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

washingtonpost.com

341–350 of 396 posts

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#341
post #229
post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I m somewhat surprised that big cities still exist and people aren't killing each other or run away

Big cities are much more efficient - especially for the single person - than living further away. Personal vehicles scale up to their passenger count. The single person with a car in the suburbs or rural effectively pays 4x more for the car than the family of four. How do you get rid of the car? Live somewhere where public transportation or walking is the more efficient means of transportation - larger cities do this…

Every other utility scales that way - more efficient to run power lines, roads, internet, water and sewage to single buildings that house multiple people than single houses kilometers from each other.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#342
post #337

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As kid I spent time in an old fashioned Russian serf type village, where a bunch of families lived together and worked a bunch of strips of land. It was the best time I ever had. Everyone had a job to do, and they were happy to let you help. The tasks you were given seemed fulfilling and meaningful. Today is horrible. Nobody lives with family or knows neighbors around here. No more church. There are some craft clubs,…

> moving back to the Russian serf village is not the solution, that place is now ruined, young people moved to the city, old people died off or drank themselves to death. One guy hung himself. Is it possible that you have a distorted perception or memory of life in that village? If it was such a happy place, why did so many young people move away, why did old people drink so much, and why did one person commit suicid…

The same reason small towns all over the world are - times have changed, and drastically.

Folks have to leave in search of work, the old ways aren’t possible thanks to our smaller, more efficient world.

The brain-drain kills off the village and what’s left is a rotting corpse of what once was. Or at least the corpses from those deaths of despair.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#343

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

I feel like it's the opposite. This was caused by the destruction of individualism. When people are individuals, you know the name of your butcher and which farm your wheat came from. Now it all comes from the collective and you can't participate in the process without being a drone. Working for Walmart is not the same as operating your own farm stand. You lack autonomy because decisions are made collectively by corp…

You’re both very correct, in a sense. You’re looking at the problem from different perspectives.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#344

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There are some craft clubs, but what's the point? Anything you can make pales in comparison to what you can get for a couple of bucks from Amazon. This is unhealthy. > There are a bunch of hobbies but they also seem pointless when you look at a few Youtube videos and see all the popular channels doing exactly what you would like to but a million times better. This is unhealthy. Over a decade ago, I had to accept th…

> This is unhealthy. And? How does one magically snap their fingers and change their hard-to-control brain? OP has a point in everything they're saying. Calling it unhealthy doesn't magically fix (inverse) their (very real/probably populous) perspective.

Turn off YouTube and go do something.

Very simple, very effective.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#346
post #92

I live in a big city, but I'm terribly lonely. - I live alone. - I work hybrid, but when I go into the office, it's more or less empty and I spend all my time on zoom calls. - My family lives far away. - I'm single. Most weeks, my only social interaction is at the local bar, where I'm a regular, or various dates from apps. Excesses of both of these is unhealthy in different ways. I've been pushing myself to go to mee…

As kid I spent time in an old fashioned Russian serf type village, where a bunch of families lived together and worked a bunch of strips of land. It was the best time I ever had. Everyone had a job to do, and they were happy to let you help. The tasks you were given seemed fulfilling and meaningful. Today is horrible. Nobody lives with family or knows neighbors around here. No more church. There are some craft clubs,…

> Growing a garden also seems pointless when you see the local grocery store.

Maybe a greenhouse would be needed, but you can grow backyard produce of much higher quality than is typical in grocery stores. Then offer it your neighbors. Some will show gratitude. Those are the ones to try to make friends of.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#348

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not just leave-me-alone individualism. It's this new, belligerent "Toxic Individualism" that's taken hold, supported by recent technological change (such as social media) and recent political/cultural change (many examples). A regular individualist simply prefers to operate on their own, outside of society and ignore collective activities. This new breed of individualism is more focused on attacking society and…

What you call the the "toxic individualists" are simply another collective. Just one motivated by envy or nihilism.

I hesitated a little, but I started to wonder if you are onto something in general. As defined, that type of individualist would be something like a herd of cats. They are clearly a part of a group ( with their own slang, rites and forbidden actions ), but yet manage to maintain aura of individualism.

I am not sure I agree, but I think it is an interesting thought worth exploring further.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#349
Working remote has the potential to reverse this, but it will take time. When I had the opportunity to choose where to live around 10 years ago, I chose a city with many of my friends in it. Now if only house prices would drop a bit to make it easier to increase mobility/liquidity...
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