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Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

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Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#301

I'm in my late 20s, but I noticed that people live as if they are forever. They spend half of their life working for survival, preparing and planning for their (!) future. Some people die in the process and never live to see that future, but some people reach that point and become aware of the finite time that just elapsed. Having physical needs met is trivial in our society. Everything beyond is self imposed sufferi…

I love this take. Refreshing to read. Thanks for your words. It has helped me slow down and enjoy my day.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#302
post #252

A lot of comments have said "stay in therapy" or "quit therapy", but my immediate reaction is that maybe you have the wrong (ineffective) therapist and need to switch . My spidey sense went up when you mentioned what "you told your therapist", full stop. I was at least expecting "what my therapist responded" or "what my therapist told me that didn't work". That really (spidey sense, no evidence really) implies that y…

This is not a problem of therapy, but a question of meaning. We need meaning in live. And for a long time religion gave that. But we threw that out. We now try to get "profesional therapy help". But it hardly has any scientific backing, and no one but religion has been able (even though it fails often) been offer te give any deeper answer to the question to "whats the meaning of it all". The best solutions people lik…

The problem with religion is that the vices of hypocrisy and selfishness are rampant in the people who claim to understand it. The problem with the people without religion is that they don't understand anything and are usually just trying to grift people. Both are bad for humanity, the former actually worse because they pervert the meaning of this beautiful universe and what this life could be, if only people would go within and find the help to get beyond their selfishness.

The meaning of life is to simply be happy, but we cannot be happy when others are so unhappy, therefore we must live our lives for others' happiness. Every act of compassionate service to those around us causes an upwelling of happiness within our hearts. Only by living in a service-oriented society where we look after each other compassionately can we hope to find peace and happiness.

This world teaches us that selfish greed with a callous, willful ignorance of the suffering of others, is the goal of life, but that will always -- I mean always -- lead to a miserable, empty life, especially in this world full of woe.

The journey of religion is to go within one's self and seek God's Will for our lives, to ask in humility to become an agent of others' happiness. Then you will be guided to the path that will take you there. Ask every day and every night and be thankful for what you have such that you become a kind, generous person.

And remember that that selfish, ignorant Peterson guy perverted the teachings of religion for his own selfish enrichment and power, and that he has no peace (not without benzos that is). You don't want that fate. We must cultivate our compassion and sense of worldwide community. It is not only essential for our species' survival (via global warming and the brutal fascists all over the Earth), but for our own personal happiness and peace.

"The Way goes in." --Rumi

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#303
There's this weird part of getting older, where the world doesn't feel so exciting and mysterious anymore. 35 for me is a great age to be lost. 44 is a great age as well. I am broke going to the foodbank right now and my world is so small and simple that it feels manageable. Went from 7 figures to this. I'm looking for work and some time soon I know i'll experience lift to my quality of life. I have recent chronic pain (physical and mental).

It all shifts when we share. Sometimes the hardest/most elusive part is acceptance but in that recognition, momentum builds.

I'm rooting for you!

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#304
post #215

Lookup a mystic by the name of "Sadhguru" on youtube and watch his videos, also check out jason gregory. It's totally eye opening and life changing. You NEED this. I can't possibly explain it all in one post. but, to give you a hint: everything we strive for in the outside world is all for naught. At the end of the day, what matters is your internal state of mind, how you process inputs. we keep trying to rearrange t…

Oh, please. Sadhguru is a politician who talk pseudoscience and a tool of current Indian Government. https://scroll.in/article/927625/opinion-the-disturbing-irra...

Look, I'm not saying everyone will agree with everything he says/teaches and you don't have to. He's asked about literally everything and he's no expert on Everything nor does he claim to be.

But, his core teachings are truly fundamental to all human beings. His core teachings are not about pseudoscience/politics, it's about how we maintain our state of mind and how we see the world around us, something the author of the post is severely struggling with.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#305
Covid lockdown was a terrible time for me as well.

In my country, the lockdown was total, for months the only reason I left the home was to buy groceries.

What saved my mental health was, surprisingly, simracing.

Not so much the activity of simracing, but more than that, for the people I met along the way, some of whom I consider now my best friends.

The feeling of belonging to something is wonderful, and I can argue is much better than any pills you can get.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#306

I spent too many years ruthlessly perusing my career and passion for coding. Sure, I have a bunch of a money and my dream job but now what? I spent the last 8 years with a girl that I was certain I was going to marry. She cheated on me last month and I hit rock bottom. I didn't want to code anymore, I didn't even want to play games or get out of bed. I started working out, eating healthy, and improving myself however…

If you waited 8 years to marry her, I'm not surprised she moved on...

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#308
Do you play golf? This question sounds flippant but in all seriousness I took it back up after a long hiatus a couple years back (I'm the same age as you) and it has been completely cathartic and stress relieving. I find it to be like a walking meditation. I often play as a single and meet great people, have great conversations and generally have a great time.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#310

Do you play golf? This question sounds flippant but in all seriousness I took it back up after a long hiatus a couple years back (I'm the same age as you) and it has been completely cathartic and stress relieving. I find it to be like a walking meditation. I often play as a single and meet great people, have great conversations and generally have a great time.

There’s something to be said for a hobby that gets you outside, alone, with occasional moments to intently focus on the activity.
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