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Don't ignore the janitor

happychasing.substack.com

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Re: Don't ignore the janitor

#281

Post by deltasevennine »

greendude29 wrote: post #45
deltasevennine wrote: post #12

I ignore the janitor because of the obvious wealth disparity between us. He works just as hard as me but is doing a job nobody likes and is paid less for it. It's completely unfair. And when I just see the janitor it's all I think about. This article is like, be nice to the people you step on. Yeah. I don't disagree with that sentiment.

I see what you're saying and I'm half way there with you. The important things are: a) don't ignore (just in the same way you won't ignore any other person, it's not a status thing, just a human thing) b) don't patronize - the comments in this thread and the general "be nice to poor people" has a feel good condescension written all over it, which you're rightly calling out. But it is possible (and baseline important)…

you have a point. I guess I'm more referring to the tendency and desire to ignore them. I'm embarrassed about my position, but I and most people won't ignore them as that's against common human decency.

Feel good condescension is exactly my point. It's the perfect phrase to illustrate what I'm trying to say. Thanks.

Re: Don't ignore the janitor

#282

Post by gthrone »

ThePadawan wrote: post #130
plaguepilled wrote: post #71

As someone who has worked a few service jobs: oh god please don't start a conversation with me if I'm on my lonesome. This advice needs a huge sticker that says 'mileage may vary'. Not everyone wants the silence to be punctuated with smalltalk.

I really wish those flippable red/green autism-awareness bracelets ("Speak to me"/"Please don't speak to me") had become ubiquitous already.

Same! Sadly I'm not sure they ever will be...

Re: Don't ignore the janitor

#283

Post by implements »

rocqua wrote: post #236
implements wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hesitates to venture that "more correct" isn't itself great English ... :)

I prefer it over correcter, and happen to believe there are various degrees of correct.

Grammar purists consider “correct” to be an absolute non-gradable adjective, I believe - though colloquially have at it and do whatever suits your written voice. I only mentioned it in contrast to the insistence that, er, one should use one rather than them - which to my written voice is a tad too formal.

Re: Don't ignore the janitor

#284

Post by m0llusk »

engineer_22 wrote: post #217
m0llusk wrote: post #198

This can also be something of a trap. For some time now I have worked as a housecleaner and there is a common scenario that I have learned to avoid: Clients are friendly and ask how you are. Cleaners then answer honestly about how this is an opportunity for them and hard physical work is all between them and crushing poverty. Clients are generally unprepared for the extreme problems that people living as cleaners may…

Unpopular opinion: complaining about life circumstances isn't polite conversation with an acquaintance, especially a client. Your interlocutor will feel put upon, that if they don't engage sympathetically and try to help they will be seen as unfeeling or cruel. They may wonder if they are being emotionally manipulated.

And what did you do before this? I was in prison.

My recommendation is to stick to client needs and the job at hand. Do you advocate for answering questions directly?

Re: Don't ignore the janitor

#285

Post by deltasevennine »

II2II wrote: post #166
deltasevennine wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don't get it. I'm saying every engineer is stepping on him by virtue of being paid 10x more. We all step on him but NONE of us acknowledge it. We're all posers, pretending that being nice to him makes any difference.

Janitors realize that the people they work around have no control over what they earn in the vast majority of cases. What people do have control over is their behaviour towards janitors, whether their direct interactions are respectful and whether they make the job of those tasked to cleaning up easier or more difficult. Being nice also makes a difference in the sense that being nice makes a difference when you are w…

You can control it. Give him part of your salary, instead of throwing him useless smiles and acknowledgment.

Saying you can't control it is a lie you tell yourself to feel better. You obviously can control part of it. We all can. But why don't I give him my salary? Because I care more about my salary then his suffering. Same with you.

Re: Don't ignore the janitor

#286

Post by deelly »

jack_pp wrote: post #126
deelly wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Do we really have to be all intellectual, all the time on HN? Actually why not? We have a lot of "just to evoke emotions" social media platforms out there.

I suspect most of HN doesn't use those

Definitely. Probably for a reason.
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