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Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

dontasktoask.com

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Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#281

Post by antattack »

IceMetalPunk wrote: post #122

Yes, this, 100%. I find it very annoying to get a notification popping up on my screen for you to say "hi" when obviously you want to ask me for something...and then you don't ask or say anything else until I stop what I'm doing and say "Hi! What's up?" back to you. After another 5-10 minutes of waiting for you to see me ask "what's up?" and then type out what is up, which we all knew you were going to end up doing a…

I say just 'Hello', if I suspect that asking my question outright, would get me delayed attention.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#282

Post by drblast »

I used to have this problem with our triage call center in India. I'm in the U.S. It was like pulling teeth trying to get to the point. Most annoying were the delays between pleasantries... You've interrupted what I was doing three times and then ghosted.

Them: hi

Me: Hello, how can I help you?

[Two minute wait]

Them: How are you?

Me: Great, what do you need?

[Ten minutes later]

Them: Do you have a few minutes?

Me: Am I on candid camera or something?

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#286

Post by quelltext »

aiisjustanif wrote: post #252
corndoge wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I like the concept from one angle, on another angle I'm not reading a fucking manual every time I want to talk to someone, it's just not happening. Especially since we know people will just start adding shit to it every time something happens they don't like and we'll end up with pages of interaction rules. No thanks.

We do this for forums. We read and make comments here just fine.

Not for each user's own rules.

There's one set of rules. You don't need to read my own personal rules on some dedicated page before you are entitled to reply to this comment.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#287

Post by IceMetalPunk »

sneak wrote: post #269
VBprogrammer wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Slightly more annoying is someone who you do not know giving you a "Hey, how are you doing?". Try, "Hey Bob, this is Alice, I work on the QA team in Dublin. I'm looking at an issue I think you might be able to help me with http://jira.yourcorp.org/browse/ORDERS-1234 . Would you have a minute to discuss this?"

That also isn't a good opener. Discuss what specifically about it? It's still waiting for a contentless "yes"/"sure". Just begin the discussion. I think a lot of people do this because they are bad/slow at typing and don't want to bother leveling up.

Agreed, but it at least gives me a starting point to check the ticket and get some context to estimate whether I can help or not.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#288

Post by dang »

Related (are there others?):

No Hello (2013) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29978860 - Jan 2022 (67 comments)

Please don't say just hello in chat (2013) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25881800 - Jan 2021 (350 comments)

Don't ask to ask, just ask - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24259156 - Aug 2020 (101 comments)

No Hello (2013) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24239880 - Aug 2020 (210 comments)

Please Don't Say Just Hello In Chat (2013) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19648415 - April 2019 (265 comments)

Please Don't Say Just Hello in Chat - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14868294 - July 2017 (46 comments)

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#289

Post by mythrwy »

ravenstine wrote: post #227
VBprogrammer wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Slightly more annoying is someone who you do not know giving you a "Hey, how are you doing?". Try, "Hey Bob, this is Alice, I work on the QA team in Dublin. I'm looking at an issue I think you might be able to help me with http://jira.yourcorp.org/browse/ORDERS-1234 . Would you have a minute to discuss this?"

I loathe phatic expressions in general, but yeah, over chat with someone you don't know is about as bad as it gets. It would be great if people actually meant the question, but they almost never do.

One good way to head that off is to go ahead and answer the question.

"Well, my Lumbago is acting up and I have this new cat who won't use the litter box. His name is Sammy because he looks kind of like Sammy Davis Jr. I'll post some pictures later. Of Sammy, not the litter box failure. Also I have this nephew I think is on pot. My sister is really worried but she's always worrying about stuff. It's probably because Mom seemed to like me better but that's hardly my fault."

After a round or two that people stop and think if they _really_ need to ask you anything at all, much less implicitly get in your personal business with a impertinent "How are you doing?".

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#290

Post by ativzzz »

asiachick wrote: post #141

i want to scream when someone types their thoughts as several separate messages and seems unaware that every message is another notification

I think it's fine if you're actively chatting with someone but obviously not if you're starting a conversation with some kind of request.
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