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Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
181–190 of 391 posts
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#182Definitely hate when someone delivers the only hello and then just nothing for next 30mins...
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#183I often will say "you there?" or "you busy?" This means I don't have a single question, it means I want to have a synchronous conversation. There are lots of reasons for the latter. This is what I would prefer people do with me as well, and if I am busy, I feel like I can ignore the message until I have a few minutes to talk (often with voice/phone) I say this as someone working from home, thousands of miles from mos…
I've been working remote for ~7 years. The way I would handle this is simply saying something like "You available? Wanted to get a few minutes to discuss X/Y/Z"
When you're attempting to set up synchronous communication, it's essential to let the other person know what the communication is about, and what level of focus you need from them, so they have time to prepare and ensure they have enough time for a proper dialogue. Can't count the number of times someone has said "you there?" while I'm in a meeting, which in my mind is "I'm available to answer simple questions" but not available to jump on a voice call, which is what they wanted originally.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#184Wanna hear something really annoying? My nephew calls me and says "hello" when I pick up the phone. Even worse, he says it like it's a question. "Hello?"
We usually end up saying it at the same time. Then he waits for me to say it again, like he didn't hear me the first time.
I find it kinda funny. It's like a power move, or a troll move, or he's just a knucklehead.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#185These are the people who write one line emails with no punctuation.
We get it, you're a super mega busy person and I am just one of the many people you will interact with today, and therefore I shouldn't expect common courtesy. No worries. I'll make sure to communicate with you as little as possible from now on.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#186I don’t think people do this because they want to be polite. The ‘hello’ is basically the start of what is the human equivalent of the TCP three way handshake. - Hello (SYN) > Hi (ACK) - How are you doing ? (SYN, ACK) Basically, they are trying to set up a synchronous channel over what is essentially an asynchronous medium. This is even more annoying than just slowing down the answer, they are demanding your undivide…
Paying proper attention was always core to effective human communication. Will we ever adapt to being async all the time?
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#187I often will say "you there?" or "you busy?" This means I don't have a single question, it means I want to have a synchronous conversation. There are lots of reasons for the latter. This is what I would prefer people do with me as well, and if I am busy, I feel like I can ignore the message until I have a few minutes to talk (often with voice/phone) I say this as someone working from home, thousands of miles from mos…
I will usually fully ignore those. If someone wants to have a synchronous conversation, I want them to state that.
Instead of saying "You there?" I would prefer "You have 5 minutes to discuss X?" or "Do you have a moment to hop on a call to chat about ?". That way I can make a decision on if I have time for it or not, instead of having to reply with "I'm here, what do you need?" only for it to end up being something that I didn't want to be disturbed for.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#188Either one is fine. I wish that people messaging me "hello" and their inquiry together vs separately were one of my top 500 problems.
I've been fascinated by just how passionately enraged the people who do have a problem with this seem to be whenever it comes up on here. I've stopped doing it out of deference to them (it literally never occurred to me that it could possibly bother anybody), but there are people who seem to go into monitor-smashing rages when it happens.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#189Slack and other chat platforms could easily filter these messages and only send when the initiator has added context.
I type: “Hi”. The chat platform shows a message bubble: “Alice won’t see your message until you add some content.”
This should probably be an opt-in feature for the recipient, not a global behavior.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#190Yes, this, 100%. I find it very annoying to get a notification popping up on my screen for you to say "hi" when obviously you want to ask me for something...and then you don't ask or say anything else until I stop what I'm doing and say "Hi! What's up?" back to you. After another 5-10 minutes of waiting for you to see me ask "what's up?" and then type out what is up, which we all knew you were going to end up doing a…
Slightly more annoying is someone who you do not know giving you a "Hey, how are you doing?".
Try, "Hey Bob, this is Alice, I work on the QA team in Dublin. I'm looking at an issue I think you might be able to help me with http://jira.yourcorp.org/browse/ORDERS-1234. Would you have a minute to discuss this?"