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YouTube has become the world's nanny

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Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#251

As a parent, screen time vs no screen time is a fine line that we have to continually renegotiate. Screens can be great, there is so much good information out there that can enrich our lives. I wouldn't go the "no screens ever" route because that's just being a luddite, robbing them of the change to experience, and acquire expertise in, the digital world that they will be interacting with for the rest of their lives.…

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Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I get the parallels with past generations but YT is different and you as a parent should be thinking about its specific properties as a platform. It might have some thought-provoking entertainment but it is too huge and assorted, and where I come from, it has been weaponized by corrupt political families to spread historical revisionism packaged as “educational content” which ultimately brought them back to power. Th…

> you as a parent should be thinking about I'm sure you mean it well, but verbatim, you are in no position to tell me what I should be thinking about, especially as a parent. I sympathise with your view, but I haven't seen a single anti vax or fiat earth snippet. There is a really nice Canadian lady who builds stuff out of Lego, I quite enjoy it.

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Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#253

YouTube is terrifying. Ever since I read about people faking up Peppa Pig episodes with inappropriate content, I keep my two kids (3yr and 7yr) away from it. Edit: „Elsagate“ seems to be the appropriate term. https://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-39381889.amp

Elsagate is only going to get worse with the advent of AI-powered content. We're already at the point where passable robo-Seinfeld is possible...

Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#254
I'm not American, so I don't know how much people can afford -- a nanny, or not working for one parent.

I can afford my wife not working, but we don't even try to hire a nanny, because we don't know if she won't give the child a gadget, and because the thing little children need the most are us, parents. So we're biting the bullet and doing home duties ourselves.

The gadget seems a solution to a lot of things. For example, cooking with my toddler, or dressing him for a walk is a pain in the neck, and the phone could ease the process. I see parents give gadgets to their 3-6y-olds on bus, just to avoid them asking stupid questions every 10 seconds and pointing finger at everything. The problem with this is that gadget use goes down a spiral: the child will beg for more in other moments, when the phone is not needed. (Someone writes they can't feed kids without gadgets -- I suspect bringing gadgets to the table was the reason for this in the first place.)

I know parents of 3yo kids who barely speak, because parents just gave them the gadget and to mind their own business. We tried an offline phone, and the addiction effect was the same.

I'd also love to read or do hobby code project at home in the evening instead of playing/watching my son. Or I'd do stuff about my career -- read vacancies, send resumes, tec. So untill the time the kid grows up to play by himself, a phone or staying out of home till late evening would have solved this.

The problem with this is that one day I'll come home, and see a 15-year-old guy ask who the hell this man is.

And when else am I supposed to build relations with the child?

These several years when phones can distract kids will be brief for us, adults. (I still remember jokes and funny vids from 2011, and perceive it as not long ago). But they'll be an infinity for the kids.

So, I'll do this without the gadget. If dressing up for a walk takes longer, we'll just stay outdoors a bit less. There's no deadline there. Hobby projects can wait -- I abandoned a lot of them. Board gaming parties, or bar with beer also can wait. All this can wait.

I'm minimizing gadget time with my son. Not because the eyesight or motility issues, but because it's a downward spiral that in the end destroys our relations too. I'm not having a phone "dry law" -- I videocall my parents with the son -- but otherwise I minimize screen time (I don't use phone on bus or subway myself). These precious years, when our kids are fully with us, won't happen again ever.

Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#255

For people cooking alone with a kid. How do you entertain them while cooking without screentime? Kid is 16 months. Too old to lie still, and too young to help out in any capacity without getting injured. Edit: Letting them play with utensils gives me about 2-3 minutes.

Mine’s now a bit older (2.5), but will play with plastic cups and dishes and the dish brush in the sink with the tap on trickle until I turn it off and pull him off the chair. He occasionally demands a drop of dish soap.

Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No. I find the concept of drinking beer with a meal disgusting on multiple levels. As a kid I hated when adults were drinking alcohol in my presence. They got even louder and dumber than usual after drinking.

Drinking alcohol doesn't necessarily mean you will go louder and dumber. You know, like youtube, there are limits.

You don't notice it as an adult but kids are very observant. You impair yourself with any amount of alcohol.

Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#257

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given the trends, YouTube is probably the mildest thing your kids will experience in their lifetime. Their lives will be shaped by crisis after crisis and their peers will be kids raised on YouTube. The best you can do is keep your kids as out of touch with environment they will lead their lives in as you are.

Kids are going to be exposed to alcohol eventually so let's dose them with increasing amounts of alcohol as they grow up so they'll build up a resistance.

Internet is not optional for adults and it's not all bad as alcohol is at every age.

Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's marketing and then there's using. Obviously they do restrict certain apps like Tinder and PH, but it's only those that are exclusively 18-over (and Epic since the fine). Other apps like FB, TikTok, XBox and the rest that no child should go near (or anyone else for that matter) gives a prompt with something along the lines of "Ask your parents for permission". If I say OK, either from my account or by logging…

To be clear: all of this happens when the device is set up by the parent to mark it explicitly as kids' device? I've never seen such things before. When I was a kid, knowing what year to put in a DOB form to put yourself safely over 18 y.o. was the most basic "Internet 101" life skill, second only to knowing where to type a website address.

On Android they have something called Family Link where you link a device and mark it explicitly as a kid's device to set restrictions like time usage, banned apps, etc. The only way to change settings is through the parent account. And yes she ran some very clever social engineering to try to get in.

Almost got me once - my wife left her phone unlocked so my kid opened WA and wrote me a message asking to lift the time restriction for the rest of the day. Her mistake was sending an extra "thank you so much" with heart emoji, which I though was off. If not for that misstep she would have got me.

Obviously she was rewarded and we listened to one of the Darknet Diaries episodes on social engineering

Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#259

As a parent, screen time vs no screen time is a fine line that we have to continually renegotiate. Screens can be great, there is so much good information out there that can enrich our lives. I wouldn't go the "no screens ever" route because that's just being a luddite, robbing them of the change to experience, and acquire expertise in, the digital world that they will be interacting with for the rest of their lives.…

Curation is key and there need to be better tools. I strongly limit my kid's screen time, and was pleasantly surprised by the PBS kids video app (and to some extent the games app). I felt very comfortable leaving her alone with that at the designated screen times, as most programs had at least some educational component... or at least had some generic but positive moral lessons. And (key!) she gets personal choice in what she watches, out of a curated garden.

As she's gotten older these programs are not cutting it, though, and she is asking for Netflix more and more. The problem is that the vast majority of kids shows are just garbage. Basically the equivalent of sitcoms or (worse) dramas about girls being cliquey or mean or whatever. I'm looking for another garden with a wide variety of bigger kid shows that have some positive qualities to them.

Sure, there are great programs on there, but I wish I could pre-select those programs and give her a selection out of them. Netflix lets me set age limits and block programs, but I'd rather spend some time selecting 20-30 shows/movies that allows her to feel free while still giving me some control

Re: YouTube has become the world's nanny

#260

As a parent, screen time vs no screen time is a fine line that we have to continually renegotiate. Screens can be great, there is so much good information out there that can enrich our lives. I wouldn't go the "no screens ever" route because that's just being a luddite, robbing them of the change to experience, and acquire expertise in, the digital world that they will be interacting with for the rest of their lives.…

I still think that treating the problem as screen time is the wrong approach. It is too low resolution. What happens on the screen matters. Many parents end up using screen time as a very blunt tool because we simply lack better tools. But curating content as a family is close to unfeasible because it goes against sponsored algorithmic curation to which others are still exposed and once a kid is socialized they face…

This is why it is simpler to set time limits and let the kids do what they want. It’s too much management and friction and negotiation otherwise. For now, I’ve done so anyway: games (even dumb ones) are fine but video is only available under special circumstances (e.g. on an airplane). I’m sure even this very coarse line will eventually erode though.
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