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The Agony of Eros: Dating

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Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#251

Post by [deleted] »

antihero wrote: post #62
immigrantheart wrote: post #56

Looks like the commoditization of love/dating apps and social media begins to show its ugly tail. Stories from my circle of friends/families: - Girls obsessed over their physiques. Going skinny to the point it wrecked their hormones. - People who are married just shy over 2-3 years are thinking on divorce, or have girlfriends/boyfriends. - People having open relationships. - Girls randomly make out in club with some…

What exactly is “messed up” about open relationships and making out with strangers?

[deleted]

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#252

Post by bradlys »

nl wrote: post #247
bradlys wrote: post #208

This article speaks a lot from a position of privilege and mostly from a straight woman’s view. The aspect of dating a lot in their 20’s is something most relegated to the most attractive men and most women these days. If you want to have stable relationships - you need to commit to people who are actually interested in you. The reason many women have these bad experiences with men is because they’re all dating the s…

> most men are just not having sex in their 20s anymore This is misleading and seems to be trying to paint a picture of male victimhood that just isn't statistically supported. It's true that in the US people (both male and female) are having sex now than in the 1990s: > Between 2009 and 2018, the proportion of adolescents reporting no sexual activity, either alone or with partners, rose from 28.8 percent to 44.2 per…

> This is misleading

Quotes a study that literally shows what I'm saying and tries to use 13-17 year olds sexual habits as an indicator of anything (which includes solo masturbation in the statistic). Did you even check what they also cited? https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32530470/ Proves my point.

There's a lot more men who are not having sex than women in their 20s. These graphs shouldn't line up so insanely with the narrative otherwise.

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#253

Post by the_doctah »

antihero wrote: post #62
immigrantheart wrote: post #56

Looks like the commoditization of love/dating apps and social media begins to show its ugly tail. Stories from my circle of friends/families: - Girls obsessed over their physiques. Going skinny to the point it wrecked their hormones. - People who are married just shy over 2-3 years are thinking on divorce, or have girlfriends/boyfriends. - People having open relationships. - Girls randomly make out in club with some…

What exactly is “messed up” about open relationships and making out with strangers?

What part about it is healthy, both physically, and emotionally, to you?

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#254

Post by the_doctah »

chromanoid wrote: post #65
ge96 wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder about this. It's a crazy commitment/years to deal with. I just look back to my own childhood/what my parents dealt with. On the other hand part of me feels sad thinking I will be the "last me". Maybe get genome sequenced/publish books of my face and put it sealed in a landfill somewhere for preservation. Actually rocks last a long time so probably a statue made with a rock.

It feels like having your heart outside of your body and it's running around recklessly. Having children changed my outlook on the future quite a bit. First, I feel much more repsonsible and interested in the ecological future, because I intensely love people who will have to deal with the consequences in the future. Second, I hope I will be able to have a natural look into the problems of future generations, when I…

And in an ironic twist, the more people we bring into this world out of our own ego, the worse off it becomes.

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#255

Post by gunfighthacksaw »

> you can be very attractive and therefore have a wide range of people interested in you but not have the social skills/psychological acuity to translate initial interest into a successful relationship.

I feel that. It took me probably until my mid 20s to realize that anyone found me attractive. Now I notice girls checking me out, and a cashier straight up said about my band shirt “I listen to them in my bedroom…”

Still a major sperg, but I did find my person, so I avoided much of the minefield of modern dating.

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#256

Post by chromanoid »

the_doctah wrote: post #254
chromanoid wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It feels like having your heart outside of your body and it's running around recklessly. Having children changed my outlook on the future quite a bit. First, I feel much more repsonsible and interested in the ecological future, because I intensely love people who will have to deal with the consequences in the future. Second, I hope I will be able to have a natural look into the problems of future generations, when I…

And in an ironic twist, the more people we bring into this world out of our own ego, the worse off it becomes.

As far as I know, it's less about how many and more about how they live. There is this myth of overpopulation (afaik this is well documented), in reality it's the egoism of the few rich countries who run the world down. And here I hope my children will participate in changing things.

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#257

Post by cassepipe »

animal_spirits wrote: post #223
cassepipe wrote: post #111

I wish Eva Illouz had less success. She is mostly a philosopher, that is someone who says what's goes through her head, and a not a social scientist. I think her idea of the commoditization of love has a lot of success because it seems obvious to our moral oriented minds but the "commodization of {some aspect of life} in the modern society is a commonplace of lazy social analysis, and she is far from alone doing that…

> but she claims it is the source of modern emotional misery and that people before knew how to love Did this come up in the article at all? Or are you just projecting your own thoughts onto it? I didn't see this idea when I was reading

In her book

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#258

Post by watwut »

fxtentacle wrote: post #194
watwut wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Human females typically prefer males that use deodorant. Human females can smell male sweat and typically find it smelly.

... says the Axe advertisement with lots of paid models in it, so it must be the truth. "The Walk showcases how AXE can transform an everyday walk into an amazing journey of attraction." https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/the-new-axe-effect-... But jokes aside, I can't find the study for it now but I thought I remembered reading somewhere that for long-term married women, smelling the sweat of their long-term p…

As a woman, I can tell with certainty that male sweat smells. The female sweat smells too by the way.

> And from an evolutionary perspective, that would make sense: If your long-term partner is around, you're probably halfway safe.

Well, evolutionary, it kinda depends on who he is etc etc. Evolutionary, relationships were not guaranteed to be nice and cosy romantic.

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#259

Post by virtualritz »

xyzzy4747 wrote: post #231
virtualritz wrote: post #228

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, as far as "old" goes there is very hard evidence that monogamy is rather the "new" idea. Not the other way around.

In the distant past, most likely societally important or powerful men had multiple wives. This is different than open relationships.

I'm afraid the History Channel is not a replacement for a curriculum in anthropology. ;)

https://www.nature.com/articles/srep32472

Re: The Agony of Eros: Dating

#260

Post by t0bia_s »

I honestly thing finding partner online is damaging relationships.

Attraction to someone should be based on real interaction, not virtual profiles that are far away from reality.

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