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Never waste a midlife crisis

austinkleon.com

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Re: Never waste a midlife crisis

#241

Post by kajecounterhack »

sclarisse wrote: post #146
kajecounterhack wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also, 5+ kids may seem helpful, but not because you won't face existential crisis with five kids -- you just will have more trouble finding time to process. Kids keep you very busy, until they don't. As an ex-church person: the "community" is pretty hurtful to a lot of people and isn't immune to high school clique / cult of personality type things, even if you discount other obvious harms (the experience of gay kids…

Christianity is heavy on the guilt. If you’re self-flagellating, that’s a sign it’s guilt, not shame. East Asian cultures are more about the shame. And try not to go anywhere where the social order is based on Fear.

I'm East Asian. Guilt and shame here are the same thing -- the distinction between moral vs non-moral is blurry at best. The only difference is who you're disappointing and what the perceived consequence is.

Re: Never waste a midlife crisis

#242

Post by morsch »

ctrlp wrote: post #225
morsch wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

By the same token, avoid seeing oncologists, EMTs, many kinds of surgeons. These people see death every day, ask yourself why: they must have a sick fascination with it. Or they stopped caring. Is that something you want in someone caring for you?

Well, those specialties at least have the benefit of medical science behind them but even so I wouldn't go to any of those specialists for mental health advice. Why are surgeons stereotypically arrogant and lacking in bedside manner? Is it, as you say, because they see death and disease every day? Do they cope by dehumanizing people? Or are the naturally that way and so well-suited to the profession? Worth asking.

> I wouldn't go to any of those specialists for mental health advice.

Or medical advice! Only damaged people would chose those professions. They are surrounded by death and injury. Are they killers? Will they kill you? These are questions you should ask yourself if you notice a skin abnormality.

Re: Never waste a midlife crisis

#243

Post by DropInIn »

rootusrootus wrote: post #48
sph wrote: post #27

Good advice, from a 36 year old middle aged man 3 years into a midlife crisis after a massive work-related burnout event. A couple more pieces of advice from me: * A midlife crisis has its own glacial pace. Be prepared to be upside down for a long time. * Be prepared not to be the same person you were before. Be prepared to learn there is no turning back. * If you're in a midlife crisis, your previous life was simply…

> 36 year old middle aged man You're not quite middle aged yet :). And 33 is way too early for a midlife crisis, surely? Maybe it's just garden variety burnout and/or depression?

Someone has no idea about the actual average lifespan of men....

Re: Never waste a midlife crisis

#245

Post by DropInIn »

flir wrote: post #194
tayo42 wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What exactly is a panic attack? Like your just watching TV and suddenly convinced you'll die? Or was it like at work, something woukd happen and you freak out?

I'll attempt an answer: it's your flight-or-flight response kicking in, without any obvious reason for it to do so. Oxygen intake goes up, muscles tense up, adrenaline production kicks in, but there's nothing for your body to "spend" these physiological changes on (like running for your life), so it just sloshes around causing panic attack symptoms (eg sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, chest pain, nausea, det…

Can even include blackouts, muscle spasms, facial/full body paralysis and tingling/pins and needles, and even seizures....

Ask me how I know... /s

Re: Never waste a midlife crisis

#246

Post by xapata »

ctrlp wrote: post #159
newaccount74 wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's just an anecdote, but all therapists I've met are divorced. It's probably just a coincidence, but I thought it was interesting.

Not a coincidence. It's significantly more common in the profession[0]. They get divorced at a higher rate, and they recommend divorce to their clients. Therapists and psychiatrists are massively responsible for the divorce rates among boomers (the first widespread consumers of these services). Their children apparently learned nothing and are rushing headlong into the same therapy-culture that destroyed so many of t…

> This is a preview of subscription content, access via your institution.

Unfortunately, since I can't view the article, I can only guess that they evaluated a large number of professions. Since the abstract focused on law enforcement, it seems unlikely that they adjusted their criteria for statistical significance for psychologists in consideration of the number of variables they evaluated.

In other words, "Jelly beans cause acne." https://xkcd.com/882/

Re: Never waste a midlife crisis

#247

Post by kleene_op »

rootusrootus wrote: post #48
sph wrote: post #27

Good advice, from a 36 year old middle aged man 3 years into a midlife crisis after a massive work-related burnout event. A couple more pieces of advice from me: * A midlife crisis has its own glacial pace. Be prepared to be upside down for a long time. * Be prepared not to be the same person you were before. Be prepared to learn there is no turning back. * If you're in a midlife crisis, your previous life was simply…

> 36 year old middle aged man You're not quite middle aged yet :). And 33 is way too early for a midlife crisis, surely? Maybe it's just garden variety burnout and/or depression?

> 33 is way too early for a midlife crisis, surely?

I don't think he knows about second midlife crisis, Pippin.

Re: Never waste a midlife crisis

#248

Post by snickerer »

mcv wrote: post #239
rootusrootus wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 36 year old middle aged man You're not quite middle aged yet :). And 33 is way too early for a midlife crisis, surely? Maybe it's just garden variety burnout and/or depression?

Yeah, I'm 49 and wondering if I shouldn't have a midlife crisis or something. Although reading the article, is it possible I had mine 12 years ago when I quit employment and became a freelancer? I've been a lot happier since, but it's really still the same career. I've always wanted to create games, though. Whether computer, board or RPG. Should I quit my current freelancing and start doing that then?

I'm 43 now and became a freelancer at 38.

I always wanted to write sophisticated game books (think choose-your-own-adventure, but with real impact of your choices for a real story). I wrote a small one to learn about how I feel in the process.

And that would be my suggestion. Try the process for some time. Something between one month and half a year. See if you like it, if you get into it, if feel like you want to continue this. The question to answer is: does the daily process of creating games makes you happy and feels right?

Re: Never waste a midlife crisis

#250

Post by fortuna86 »

ctrlp wrote: post #163
p1esk wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Think about the life your typical therapist is leading What kind of life are they leading?

If they are performing according to the profession's own standards, then they spend their working days involved in other people's problems, delusions, traumas, grievances, morbidities, obsessions, suicides, etc, (not to mention various mental disorders). This probably accounts for high rates of burnout among them. But, ask yourself, what about the ones who don't burn out? What is it about them that allows them to do…

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