241–250 of 260 posts
Let me hazard a guess, study done mostly with American subjects and majority of them being white. I would love to see a qualifier like "How to make a friend fast in America?"
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Dunno, when you make egregious errors like that we can't help understanding not only what you meant but also some things you likely didn't mean.
It's been pointed out to me lately that "prescriptive grammar" is apparently classist/racist, which is strange considering I grew up dirt poor in Appalachia but still bothered to learn the difference in "who" and "whom". In languages like French it's a crucial understanding but English got lazy and for whatever reason, direct object pronouns are a tripping point for many students of a foreign language. Astounding.
It surely is. Caring about language (caring about anything, really) is an honest signal of status, whether you like it or not. Inevitably, some people will try to slave-moralize it away. If some social/ethnic/sex/... minority with inferiority complexes jumps on this bandwagon, suddenly you may find yourself caring about a thing whose ignorance some social scientists somewhere have found to be correlated with holy cows.
Proposed solution: stop caring about everything besides making all people feel good about themselves.
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Just watch out that they dropped their poor friends for the reason everyone expects. I don't give a fuck if someone is rich or not, and I have a number of poor friends[1], but I made the conscious decision to cut out friends that I wouldn't befriend if I met them today. Many of the people I cut were poor, but it's not why I cut them. I cut them because they stopped growing after or during highschool. When I talk abou…
> I don't want come over with an expensive scotch and have people mix it with Coca Cola. Well, on the other hand, I don't want to be "friends" with people who judge me by my knowledge of drinking etiquette. Who gives a duck for how one drinks an "expensive scotch" (sic) compared to friendship? I'm not sure what bond was broken when someone upgraded friends based on how they treated an expensive scotch, but it was no…
I have friends with unsophisticated tastes, but they have other aspects that are laudable and interesting. For example I have a friend that works as a stage actor in Toronto. He doesn't have sophisticated tastes, but he's passionate about art and we can discuss aspects of each others work and get mutual enjoyment.
Something I didn't mention in my original comment is that I grew up in a strange part of Canada: Georgetown, Ontario. Georgetown had the last KKK march in Canadian history, it still to this day has not implemented public transit because of fears of enabling people of Pakistani origin, it is the headquarters for Jehovah Witness for Canada, etc.
Why should I continue to befriend people that are mildly to moderately racist. That send me Mary Kay emails. That organize bachelor party cottage weekends knowing full well that I personally find prostitution and stripping disgusting (though I think it should be legal) and purposely hide the fact that they used some of my funds to hire escorts for the weekend. Funds they said would be used for beers and spirits that we recommended on the Facebook event only to buy bud light and Canada Club. "Friends" that waste my time by calling me and asking me if PayPal is a good way of taking money online (I say "no, use Stripe) only to find out that they're involved in some sort of $20 contest on the side of a cereal box and they don't really respect my opinion anyway, they just want to hear that what they want to be true. "Friends" that bitch about high taxes, immigrants, and haven't even done the basic work of thinking through how they would be without public healthcare or how they wouldn't be in the country if their parents didn't come here from Holland in the 50s. But that's ok right, because Dutch people are white. "Friends" that are against same-sex marriage. "Friends" I've never talked to about being Bi and what their supposedly Christian viewpoint would mean for me if I ever wanted to marry a man.
I have nothing in common with these people anymore.
You're right though, it is about class and I'm not so deluded or dishonest to say otherwise. But class isn't wealth, even if it is correlated with it. I demand more out of myself and others and I shouldn't be friends with people just out of loyalty. I should be friends with people because I love them and because I respect them. And history counts for something, but it isn't everything.
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And I think this is exactly the problem. People who are already socially confident don't think about these processes because they just happen naturally for them. You meet someone, chat with them, and then sometimes you become friends. So when someone comes along and outlines the process, it seems clinical and detached, and thus kinda creepy. Certainly it was my reaction when I first started seeing things like this. "…
Actually, I think and read about these processes a lot. I have taken intro to psychology, social psychology and a class on negotiation and conflict management. I find social stuff fascinating and I love to study it. But it takes 15 to 20 hours a week to establish and maintain a genuinely close relationship. Forty five minutes is barely a down payment on that. I have known "players" and how they operate. They are good…
The flowchart in the beginning is very heteronormative. :(
Yeah I'm not sure that's the best way to go about it. Gender plays little-to-no role in being friends with someone. I'm too old to let sexual whatever get in the way (and too committed to the one person that seems to love me just as I am).
You appear to intimate that if you were younger and unattached sex would pay a role, but that at odds with your 2nd sentence. Perhaps you could expand on your reasoning?
Steal his lunch?
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In English, spelling is so seemingly arbitrary at times that I just gave up and quit caring so much. Judgment? Judgement? Who cares?! I won't budge on my thoughts on the importance of proper grammar though.
Grammar pedants are the worst. It generally isn't very important if people understand what is being said. There are a few edge cases, but in general its pretty obvious.
I'd think of extro- and intro- as looking out and in respectively. Extra- and intra- would be externally additive and internally additive; like a connection outside a defined group and inside such a group respectively.
tl;dr this was an edge case for me.
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Eventually the correct spelling is driven by usage, and 'extrovert' is currently listed in dictionaries so... it's correct. Historically the term was 'extravert' in psych literature. I feel like more technical usage probably still leans that way.
The matching vowels make it a better spelling.
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> I think we underestimate how much all of these contribute to what we call 'personality'. I agree. But there are still people who are not changed much in important qualities despite big changes in their circumstances (e.g. from poor to rich, or from obscurity to fame or power, or vise versa) and others who change behavior totally with the subtlest of life changes. (E.g. now got a more high paying job, let me dump my…
Just watch out that they dropped their poor friends for the reason everyone expects. I don't give a fuck if someone is rich or not, and I have a number of poor friends[1], but I made the conscious decision to cut out friends that I wouldn't befriend if I met them today. Many of the people I cut were poor, but it's not why I cut them. I cut them because they stopped growing after or during highschool. When I talk abou…
Because people deserve to be judged on the sensitivity of their taste buds.
Somehow, I believe they're better off.