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Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

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Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#221

Post by paul7986 »

UweSchmidt wrote: post #125

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

I think another thing that's causing it is social media ... the thought of ...i want to have the perfect family too and post photos of such so I get tons of likes too for what I created (the picture of me with my beautiful family). If i cant achieve that i'll be alone.

That's just one thing yet not sure how big or small of a driver it is.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#222

Post by 0F5 »

Gustomaximus wrote: post #176
0F5 wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wrong. My college chemistry textbook had a small aside about an important organic chemist in the 1920s who was responsible for many foundational organic chemistry techniques and theories. I forget his name. The blurb ended with his death — he committed suicide after lamenting that his friends always had female partners on the weekends while he, on the other hand, was always alone. The man died of loneliness in the 19…

Seems to me he was not alone, as he had friends and spent time with them. Is this example conflating 'alone' to the seperate issue of him being unable to find a sexual partner? Also generally I'm sure there will be outlier examples of 'see he was alone in the past' but I feel we have to approach these from a 'generally' view to understand the bigger picture as examples of one may be good for context, but can tend to…

I think technology is fundamentally opposed to the human experience. What will happen when AGI agents are more empathetic, caring, attentive, funny, supportive, soul-nourishing than any human could ever be? On every level that a human can enjoy and appreciate the company of another human, computers will do it better. It’s like the concept of infinity… you are forced to accept all these strange outcomes that are logically sound but make no sense. That is what AGI will be and AGI is the logical end of technology. There is no humanity at end of that road. And the outcome is very bad overall. But that doesn’t change the fact that people have been lonely a long time and there are more reasons for loneliness than technology. Better to see clearly regardless of the context.

Stop intelligent machines!

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#223

Post by shrimp_emoji »

EE84M3i wrote: post #92

I live in a big city, but I'm terribly lonely. - I live alone. - I work hybrid, but when I go into the office, it's more or less empty and I spend all my time on zoom calls. - My family lives far away. - I'm single. Most weeks, my only social interaction is at the local bar, where I'm a regular, or various dates from apps. Excesses of both of these is unhealthy in different ways. I've been pushing myself to go to mee…

Vangelis's 25th Anniversary Blade Runner soundtrack was made for your life: https://youtu.be/73um9Dr3VDY?t=854

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#224

Post by rossdavidh »

ilaksh wrote: post #83
rossdavidh wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is a pretty nightmarish scenario you're predicting, there, was that sarcasm?

People didn't read into it fairly, they deliberately misread what I was saying. I was not saying that people won't go back to meeting in person. I am saying that the online meetings will become more realistic. I probably should not waste time commenting. Total lack of imagination or fairness in interpreting comments.

I'm sorry, I didn't intend to make anyone feel bad (that was not sarcasm). But, I really am concerned about the amount of screen isolation already in evidence (I say, as I type this onto my laptop), and I'm not sure why we would want more temptations to increase that.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#225

Post by BigRedDog1669 »

bch wrote: post #168
bittercynic wrote: post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you are taking for granted a huge body of knowledge that some of us are lacking. Hosting a dinner gathering is complicated. What foods do you serve? What time? Do you complete all the food prep before guests arrive? If you are chatting over appetizers, how do you invite your guests to the table for the main meal? There's not just one right way to do these things, but if you're trying to host a dinner party fo…

> "Am I doing this right? " I can appreciate that. I also bet that everybody would appreciate the effort even if things didn’t proceed like a scene from a movie.

Yea, don't worry too much. If someone invited me into an almost empty apartment and gave me spaghetti and just seemed interested in talking to me I would be really appreciative. I have friends (some of whom who are really good cooks) but almost nobody that I don't already know puts effort into talking to me or becoming friends so that would feel super nice.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#226

Post by ryandrake »

2devnull wrote: post #162

Americans are mean to each other. We didn’t used to be. Various explanations exist. Isolation like many behaviors can be thought of as a defense mechanism, a reaction. Solutions are obvious. What made us different in the past?

A political identity based on belligerence, narcissism, and toxic individualism, has taken root and replaced religion for a great many people. Not that religion was all that great, but the current "everyone for themselves and fuck anyone who is not like me" movement is a hell of a lot worse. For these people, isolation is not a defense mechanism, it's a core value. They're against anything that diminishes the Individual, like collective action and cooperating for the good of society.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#227

Post by nradov »

foobarian wrote: post #123
EE84M3i wrote: post #92

I live in a big city, but I'm terribly lonely. - I live alone. - I work hybrid, but when I go into the office, it's more or less empty and I spend all my time on zoom calls. - My family lives far away. - I'm single. Most weeks, my only social interaction is at the local bar, where I'm a regular, or various dates from apps. Excesses of both of these is unhealthy in different ways. I've been pushing myself to go to mee…

As kid I spent time in an old fashioned Russian serf type village, where a bunch of families lived together and worked a bunch of strips of land. It was the best time I ever had. Everyone had a job to do, and they were happy to let you help. The tasks you were given seemed fulfilling and meaningful. Today is horrible. Nobody lives with family or knows neighbors around here. No more church. There are some craft clubs,…

Your memories of that Russian serf village are distorted and incomplete. Most subsistence farming work is far from being happy and fulfilling. Talk to adults who spent decades living that way. They might not have been lonely, but their lives were bleak in most other ways. Why do you think so many left as soon as they could? Why did those who remained turn into alcoholics?

Today is great.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#228

Post by shrimp_emoji »

RGamma wrote: post #129
mensetmanusman wrote: post #46

People can’t compete with the infinite entertainment quality of the phone. These trends aren’t surprising.

The day there's a large enough internet outage will feel like awaking from the Matrix.

Not for /r/DataHoarder/s. All entertainment cached locally bb. B)

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#229

Post by shagie »

seydor wrote: post #147
NaOH wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. I've long capt…

I m somewhat surprised that big cities still exist and people aren't killing each other or run away

Big cities are much more efficient - especially for the single person - than living further away.

Personal vehicles scale up to their passenger count. The single person with a car in the suburbs or rural effectively pays 4x more for the car than the family of four.

How do you get rid of the car? Live somewhere where public transportation or walking is the more efficient means of transportation - larger cities do this better than smaller ones.

Many aspects of managing a house are best done with more people. I've got a list of repairs that need at least three hands to do - but get put off because I've only got two. It would be much easier to live in a nice apartment closer to the urban center of the city.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#230

Post by bonniemuffin »

m000 wrote: post #113

I would put this down to a growing part of the population feels financially insecure. As you grow older, spending quality time with people also requires spending $. If you are barely making some savings, you probably won't feel comfortable in scaling up your social life. It is surprising that the author recognizes the time period/age group... > These new habits are startling — and a striking departure from the past.…

My friend group is pretty economically diverse and also cost-conscious, and most of our social activities are free or nearly-free. We hang out in public parks, get together in each other's homes, and go hiking, camping, or to beaches. Optionally, you can put out some cheese and crackers and a cheap bottle of wine, and now you're all having a nice time together for $20.

I'm well-off these days, but I still enjoy doing free/cheap stuff, because I'm there to hang out with my friends, and they're the same friends whether we're sitting on a blanket in a park, or eating three michelin stars. I highly recommend suggesting free activities to your friends, if they're currently in the habit of going out to bars and restaurants and other $$$ activities. Just try it! Maybe you'll all like it.

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