221–230 of 446 posts
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Perhaps you are conflating failure with discipline. We need to allow kids to fail, because you will fail in real life. Sports with no scores is dumb. Fairly tangential to if we yell at our kids or not.
Sports with no scores is fun
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It looks like what I posted might not have been clear. I mean: please don't use quotation marks to make it look like you're quoting someone when you're not really quoting them. In particular, please don't do that thing where people sarcastically put words in someone's mouth and then add quotation marks around those words to amplify the rhetorical effect. Uses of quotation marks for quoting someone, or for doing somet…
This is how fictional dialogue is commonly written in English lit. I do not see what the original poster could be doing wrong by following commonly accepted grammar. Perhaps this is just hitting a pet peeve of yours.
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HN moderators. I realize that's not always clear, but something in me resists putting "mod" labels beside our usernames.
Even if it's sometimes confusing I think that's a subtle but powerful thing. Even when you're moderating you're not set apart from us and it feels more like a discussion and less adversarial. Not sure if that's what you intended but I appreciate it.
The long run plan is to set up the system (moderation, software, and community) so well that it regulates itself. In that case having 'mod' next to moderators' names would be a field of boliauns. http://zucchinigirl.tripod.com/faery/field.html
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HN moderators. I realize that's not always clear, but something in me resists putting "mod" labels beside our usernames.
You should have. I inadvertently argued against your opinionated choice when it's completely your right to enforce such a thing as a moderator.
But the minimalism and informality of this site is valuable too, no one's ever had 'mod' next to their name here, and it feels like it would break the spell or something.
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I'm the engineering lead for all of our VR projects (both software and hardware), I organize two different meetups, one bi-weekly, the other monthly. What I don't do is I don't watch very much television and I don't hang out in bars anymore. I'm married so I don't have to chase girls. I don't play video games anymore (hell, I don't even like non-VR games anymore, but we don't have room in our apartment for a Vive, wh…
Henry Thoreau talked about this in Walden [1]. He built and lived in a hut by Walden lake for 2 years around 1900. There was a Irish family or such like that lived near by. The man he spoke to served him coffee, a luxury of the day, but had to work all hours to afford it. Walden had none of the luxuries but lived a more stress free life. [1]: https://www.walden.org/Thoreau/
Quoting the article: > "Sarah, put on the green coat or the red sweater. We're going to go out, okay?" Choice among humans increases the likelihood of compliance. And choice isn't important, it's the appearance of choice that's important. I've gotten this exact advice from so many articles and pop psych pieces. Maybe they are written by non-parents or their children are much easier, but it never works for me. My 4 ye…
That's the problem with one-size-fits-all methods. Kids are just different and what worked for one child doesn't necessarily work for another child. Even if you do exactly the same thing. My girlfriend used to train dogs for a living. She always said "it's the owner's fault, not the dog's". Now we have a Chihuahua who won't listen, doesn't respond to rewards, doesn't respond to punishment. She just does her own thing…
Were chihuahuas bred to be obedient or were they bred to be toys and possibly food?
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It looks like what I posted might not have been clear. I mean: please don't use quotation marks to make it look like you're quoting someone when you're not really quoting them. In particular, please don't do that thing where people sarcastically put words in someone's mouth and then add quotation marks around those words to amplify the rhetorical effect. Uses of quotation marks for quoting someone, or for doing somet…
Interesting, i can see where the risk of confusion is. But wondering how it could have been written for similar effect... " For the teens, the psychologist's advice is literally: well, maybe don't be such a bitch in the first place, Mom. " Feels a bit confusing. Is there a better way?
(Edit: I'm detaching this from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13101402 and marking it off-topic. That example wasn't a clear enough one to make the point about, because the commenter wasn't being snarky or doing anything particularly wrong. Maybe next time it comes up more clearly I'll try again.) I know it's nitpicky, but please don't use quotation marks when you're not actually quoting someone, and especially…
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Or they are parents, but they're not me. I've got two kids, both teenagers now. In my view it's not just that kids are different, but that parents are different too. My impression is that most parenting advice assumes that the parents themselves have unlimited self discipline, organization, and emotional stamina.
and unlimited time. So much advice of the form: "Really sit down with the child during a tantrum. Listen to their concerns, and make sure they feel heard. Only then engage with them in problem solving.". Uh. Sure. I'll just do that. I mean, dinner is going to burn, we'll be late for swimming, and I was on my way to wipe my other child's butt before helping my _other_ other child with their homework. I can only assume…
Quoting the article: > "Sarah, put on the green coat or the red sweater. We're going to go out, okay?" Choice among humans increases the likelihood of compliance. And choice isn't important, it's the appearance of choice that's important. I've gotten this exact advice from so many articles and pop psych pieces. Maybe they are written by non-parents or their children are much easier, but it never works for me. My 4 ye…
There was a TV programme in the UK called The 3 Day Nanny, about a super nanny who would come in and sort out problem children and parents in 3 days. It ran for a few seasons. Fast forward till she had her own child, and I saw an interview with her. She was completely shattered. Like a wreck. She had her own difficult child, and coupled with little available help from others, she couldn't cope. She looked and sounded…
Then when she has a kid, her kid learns exactly the mental tricks needed to be able to disobey her, by virtue of spending 24×7 with her.
Nature equips kids with instincts, one of which is to be selfish, the others of which can be exploited by parents to override that instinct. But nature also equips kids with a brain, and it is only natural that selfishness uses the brain to learn how not to be manipulated by those other instincts. But that takes time; hence the above results.