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A man is walking down the street carrying a 12-roll pack of toilet paper. People surround him, all excited: "Where'd you get that?" The man answers, "I just got it back from the dry cleaner's!" (source: Viktor Suvorov's fascinating Kuzkina Mat [1]) [1]: http://andrewnurnberg.com/book/kuzkina-mat/
I don't get this one?
The real question is: why CIA had classified Russian jokes on their file?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Group of CIA agents are thinking about how to invent a joke for Russian communists. With great struggle they invented a joke about butter. Now, to test their joke, they secretly landed near a city in Siberia and told their joke to a men. Men does not laugh. CIA asking — «Are you understanding the joke? — Yeah, I understand the joke, but what is „butter“?».
This is classy "foreign design", something to counter with a good internally produced one.
I understood every single joke on that list except this one: >A man goes into a shop and asks "You don't have any meat?". "No," replies the sales lady. "We don't have any fish. It's the store across the street that doesn't have any meat." I just don't get it at all... is it just a bad joke? I understand that stores ran out of products in that situation, but if you just had to walk across to street to get what you wer…
The real question is: why CIA had classified Russian jokes on their file?
Well the title is "Soviet Jokes for the DDCI", where DDCI seems to stand for "Deputy Director of the Central Intelligence (Agency)". My guess is they had someone compile them for their use and they were just classified by default along with the other documents of the office.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you've seen Russian wives you now this is not a joke (ducks).
Unless you refer to old(er) working class women with a hard life I don't see how any reasonable person can think that's even remotely a basis for a joke, given how much more beautiful Russian women look on average. Just walk around Russian cities. Having lived in the US for a decade and having been to Russia and Ukraine several times, sometimes for months living in a rented apartment, I know which country I'd choose…
OK, I need to add my favorite Russian joke here: A German and a Russian die. Neither has been the best person in their life, so they get sent down there. When they arrive in hell, the devil says, "Well, especially bad people have been dying lately, and we're all full up. I can only accept one of you, the other will go to purgatory and get a chance at redemption." He proposes a simple test of their human decency: Each…
An eagle, tired from a long flight, lands in a tree. It looks around and is startled to see a cow is in the tree as well. "What are you doing in this tree?" says the eagle. "Well, I came up here to eat apples," replies the cow. "But this is a pine tree." "Ah, you see, I brought my own." (Lady who told me that was from Kamchatka.)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
He was just joking around, he memed you.
> he memed you No. This has to stop. For the love of all that is good and holy this has to be the line in the sand that we do not cross. This is too much for the English language to take and still survive. Meme cannot be a verb.
Yeah, stop verbing your nouns, dammit.
A bit different but here's my favorite European joke: An Italian politician invites his Greek politician friend over for a visit. The Greek pulls up in front of an elegant manor house and is welcomed by the staff. He walks in through a foyer with marble floors and a huge marble staircase with ornamental banisters and a crystal chandelier. They walk through to a lovely veranda overlooking the river, and sit down to ea…
A Brazillian similar joke. Italy government was choosing who to build the bridge (maybe the one in the previous joke). 3 contractors made bids, a German, an US, and a Brazillian one. The German bid that for 40 million he could make a near indestructible steel bridge with perfect tolerances. The US company tried to do the opposite, they offered to make a cheap concrete bridge, with "just enough" within the requirement…
Except there's no competition between 2 contractors, so for 40 million, you get a shoddy 10 million bridge, and 15 goes into the politician who approved the project and 15 to his contractor buddy.
(Or the contractor buddy and the politician are actually the same person, so they just get 30 million)
The added benefit is that the shoddy construction falls apart quicker, so you can request 40 million again in a few years.