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A European tourist discuses with a Cuban local.
- How is life under Fidel Castro?
- I can't complain
- Interesting, so not that bad
- Well, I really cannot complain
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Alexander the Great, Caesar and Napoleon are watching a Soviet military parade:
- If only I had soviet tanks, said Alexander, I would have been invincible
- If only I had soviet planes I would have conquered the whole world says Caesar
- If only I had the Pravda, no one would ever have heard about Waterloo says Napoleon
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A young officer waits in front of Stalin's office for his audience. The door slams open and Marechal Joukov, furious, leaves the office grumbling "cockroach with a moustache". Introduced to Stalin, the young officer says it is his duty to report what he heard. Stalin calls back Joukov and asks him "what did you mean by cockroach with a moustache?". Joukov: "I was refering to Hitler of course". Stalin then turns to the officer: "who did you think he was referring to?"
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A discussion at the goulag:
- what are you here for?
- for being lazy
- how is that?
- we had a few drinks with some friends then we started telling each others political jokes. I went home and before going to sleep, I thought I should report what happened to the KGB first thing in the morning. Well, my friends went to the KGB that same evening.
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Why are there always 3 miliciens? One who can read, one who can write, and another to watch these dangerous intellectuals.
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East German joke: why does toilet paper always have a double sheet? Because one copy always must be sent to Moscow.
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Do you prefer socialist or capitalist hell? Socialist of course, either they run out of matches, or there is a fuel shortage, or the devils are away at a party meeting.
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Tito asks his chauffeur to stop the car to discuss with a peasant on the side of the road.
- where are you going, asks Tito
- just shopping, I will buy a few suits, several pairs of shoes and a new car. And my wife asked me to bring a few other things back: a fridge, a washing machine and a new TV
- you must be very wealthy
- I am, this is the socialist miracle
- that's right, and you know who I am? You owe all that to me!
- oh, you are comrade Tito? I am sorry I didn't recognize you. With this big car I thought you were an american journalist