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When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

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Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#141

Post by johndhi »

rescripting wrote: post #120
johndhi wrote: post #57

I disagree with the "ask first" suggestion. That's adding friction to the process that makes it less organic and will disincentivize actually doing it. Instead I will give feedback that I know won't hurt the employee I'm praising. There is an art to writing this stuff - usually making it more about yourself and how your problems are easier.

Asking first makes sense because they may have been told by their manager to deprioritize or stop working on whatever your problem was, but they used their judgement and helped you anyway. Praising them in front of others undermines that directive, and even if their manager was ok with them helping you in this one off situation they may not want to advertise "Go to John for help with X". You hear stories of employees…

If the manager told the IC to deprioritize what I'm asking for, the IC should tell me that. If the IC tells me that, I'll consider that in what I write about the IC.

Also - I'm not necessarily advocating for praising in front of others in every case. In some cases that makes sense, in some cases it makes sense just to send a message to the manager directly.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#143

Post by madeofpalk »

agloe_dreams wrote: post #5

I disagree with the angle on this about asking and how to go about things but mostly because complimenting in context is helpful. When someone does great work, tell everyone, not just their manager. Do it in public and clearly in standups after they talk about what they did last day/week. "I just want to mention, that work that Joe did on that module is fantastic, thanks!" It is so easy to be a force for good. Being…

Not sure about this advice in general. I get quite uncomfortable if I receive praise or compliments in general, and in a group setting is even worse. I find it embarrassing and awkward.

Im not saying “never give praise in public”. But, you know, read the room. As always, especially with social interactions, context is key! Know the people you’re talking with!

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#144

Post by ori_b »

esafak wrote: post #118
ori_b wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

That's a cultural and personal thing. Consider the recipient's preferences. If you would like to learn about these cultural preferences, read Erin Meyer's The Culture Map . https://erinmeyer.com/books/the-culture-map/

Yes. If you like that kind of culture, feel free to seek it out.

I would not enjoy that kind of workplace, and if I accidentally join a place that leaned very heavily on that communication style, I would likely leave quickly.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#145

Post by koliber »

edgarvaldes wrote: post #112
anon84873628 wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you saying you don't want to work with the people who use praise w/ direction? That is my assumption about what you meant given that it seems like the contrary opinion and thus the reason for replying. If that's the case, care to elaborate why you don't like that style?

>I really liked how you tackled this Because you open the communication with a lie.

Such communication style can work well, but only if it is genuine. When people do mess up, there is often something good in the mix. It’s possible to lead with a compliment to point out what was done well, and follow up with constructive criticism. It’s about style. When done well, you don’t notice it and you like it. If done awkwardly or stiffly, it feels fake, patronizing, and disingenuous.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#146

Post by madeofpalk »

master-lincoln wrote: post #21
agloe_dreams wrote: post #5

I disagree with the angle on this about asking and how to go about things but mostly because complimenting in context is helpful. When someone does great work, tell everyone, not just their manager. Do it in public and clearly in standups after they talk about what they did last day/week. "I just want to mention, that work that Joe did on that module is fantastic, thanks!" It is so easy to be a force for good. Being…

I never understood the "correct in private" stance. How can others learn who did not do the mistake? The argument to have critique in private only is probably because of ego and honor culture where people feel personally attacked in topics where it's not about them at all but about the actions they have taken in a professional context with rules and expectations. But I fully agree on not talking to the manager, but p…

Not everything is, or has to be, a learning opportunity for everyone else.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#147

Post by koliber »

rqtwteye wrote: post #17
whatshisface wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” That crosses the line by lying, I think it would be better to say "I think it would be better if you did it this way." It's bad to call them stupid or make a superfluous claim of objectivity, but you don't need to pretend to smile and praise.

“I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” I hate this because it’s usually just a shit sandwich. “Great work. Actually it sucked. Keep going.”

Would it work better if it was delivered as “good intention, decent start, improve the middle, but an alright finish”? Shit sandwich? Call it what you will. If it is genuine and true, lead with the good and deliver the bad afterwards works wonders. While not everyone reacts that way, many people get defensive if you lead with the bad, and won’t hear the good as something good.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#148

Post by stcroixx »

ori_b wrote: post #76
gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

Me either. Prefer honest direct communication in a business setting.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#149

Post by camdenlock »

AceJohnny2 wrote: post #116

The comments here really demonstrate how this is a culturally-nuanced topic. FWIW, the author comes from a North-American background.

Would be interested to hear anecdotes from your culture.

In the NA culture, we’ve reached a “kindergarten” sort of stage, where the prime directive is to protect feelings and reduce “harm”. I suspect this may be due the growing influence of academia on the private sector.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#150

Post by function_seven »

jasonlotito wrote: post #128
function_seven wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll share my reason. It's phony as hell. If someone is legitimately angry or disappointed with my performance, just say it. Don't construct a "compliment sandwich" and patronize me with that.

Considering this is about how you communicate with others, you are saying people should consider the way you want to be communicated with, but you should be able to ignore how others want to be communicated with? That just makes you a disappointing, inefficient hypocrite.

No, I didn't say any of that. I would like people to be straight with me. I try to be straight with them. Golden Rule and all of that, right?
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