Stop Telling Everyone What You Do for a Living

Post by blitzar » Tue, Apr 11, 2023, 11:52 AM UTC

Hoasi wrote: post #126

huffmsa wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If anyone's ever asked: - what do you do? - where do you live? - are you married? - have any kids? They're asking about your money and your sex life.

Not at all. Those are valid questions. In some parts of Asia, those are the first questions you'll get, including your salary. You might as well get that out of the way from the start.

Post by chrisweekly » Tue, Apr 11, 2023, 11:57 AM UTC

jraph wrote: post #131

darkerside wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> bad at giving concise summaries This seems like something you could work on instead of implying it's other people's fault for asking you about a topic that they don't know they aren't interested in yet. If you have a punchy 20 second description, and then ask what they do, you'll have pivoted away unless they want to bring it back.

To be fair, I think the parent commenter is aware this is not the fault of the one who asked. Though when doing a PhD, it's a worthy goal to be able do give a quick description. It also forces you to think about the goal / meaning of your work. Some topics are more easily summarized, but still. We do science for people, it's only fair to be able to present them your work more or less roughly. I had something for peop…

Post by doubled112 » Tue, Apr 11, 2023, 11:59 AM UTC

cj wrote: post #114

clnq wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Around a decade ago, I stopped asking people the basic questions, like what they do, where they're from, how old they are, or their gender and pronouns when that is unclear. I find that it's irrelevant and will bias the relationship for no good reason. I had a good friend with whom I mostly kept in touch over the phone and online for many years, and I didn't know their name until they died and I got a call from their…

Not to sound insensitive, but how is it possible to consider someone a good friend without knowing the person’s name?

Post by leroy-is-here » Tue, Apr 11, 2023, 12:00 PM UTC

fxtentacle wrote: post #144

leroy-is-here wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How did you manage to have a phone friend without knowing their name? You’re gonna have to tell that story. I absolutely agree btw, people are more than just their job. And most hate, or are disinterested, in their work. I’m interested them _them_, not their occupation. But it’s no secret that many, especially here, make their occupation a fundamental aspect of themselves.

Nickname? There's one guy in my friends group and everyone calls him by his LARP character name. He probably mentioned his real name years ago, but why bother remembering it?

Post by atonse » Tue, Apr 11, 2023, 12:01 PM UTC

ihateolives wrote: post #23

cbg0 wrote: post #6

Telling people what you do is more than just telling them your job title, it's also a great opportunity to tell them what motivates you about your job, and thus showing some of your values, which is pretty important when meeting new people and allows you to more easily form bonds with those that share similar values.

"So you're an accountant, huh? Tell me, what motivates you? You just like numbers? That's it? Just like working with numbers? Umm... do you have a dog?" "Oh, you're in gambling industry? You build online gambling websites? What makes you passionate about it? What are your values that led you down to this path? Oh, just that the pay is good? Okay man, I can totally see that, yeah..."