Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown • Hacker News Board

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#141

Post by ineedasername » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:05 PM UTC

jdavis703 wrote: post #110

ineedasername wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So while I don't count myself as a winner in this, it does seem to be a substantial win to not be one of the Same. I was extremely fortunate that this disaster and my work, family, and financial setup meant things had little impact on me. It hit my kids harder socially, but educationally they ended up much better because they had a highly educated retired family member as a neighbor. They did and did their remote sch…

In the California lockdown, we weren’t allowed to visit with neighbors (we’re in a 34 floor apartment, and we weren’t even supposed to ride the elevator with other households). It sounds like your region may have had a softer lockdown since they allowed people to visit.

For an elevator and considering the magnitude of the CA outbreak, I kind of understand the elevator restrictions.

But for neighbors etc that were in the same social bubble observing the same careful restrictions it seems too much. I think the government has been well within its rights in certain mandates that ensure careless people don't inflict their negligence on other people, but in some cases I think it went too far.

On the other hand, especially at the beginning, everyone was dealing with incomplete and imperfect information. It was not an easy time to be a decision maker on such issues especially when people's actions became expressions of political affiliation. Masks are a perfect example:

Resistance started as a rallying cry to allow people take personal responsibility, a mindset I can understand. But it then morphed into a refusal to take some precautions-- essentially a refusal to consider personal responsibility issue-- due to the politics involved instead of a reasoned & informed stance on the risks. (PLEASE note that I'm not making a statement about masks themselves one way or another-- just pointing out that choices influencing medical issues became driven by political affiliation. I saw extremes of this behavior on different ends of the political spectrum, substituting critical thinking with selectively listening only to experts that were aligned with a given political stance.)

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#142

Post by hypertele-Xii » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:05 PM UTC

KronisLV wrote: post #103

johnchristopher wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Then the loneliness becomes unbearable and I retreat. I don't understand how this goes. Could you describe your experience with more details ? > I built a desk a couple of years ago and I'm still waiting to show it off to somebody. Well, you could paste a picture here :).

> Well, you could paste a picture here :). That does sound like a pretty nice thing to say! That said, i can't exactly recall seeing many "Show HN" posts about making furniture, though awesome stuff like that does occasionally appear in the comments. I do feel like reaching out to some of the online communities for those particular interest groups could be pretty beneficial, though! For example: https://www.reddit.co…

Just posting the picture right here, in this comment thread, although completely off-topic, will probably be accepted positively (net karma gain). HN folk seem to like personal tidbits, stories, and cool stuff made self.

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#143

Post by ball_of_lint » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:07 PM UTC

kristofferR wrote: post #28

tboyd47 wrote: post #20

There aren’t any measurable elements of personality that are fixed. Personality changes as you age. I’ve witnessed a reversal in each of the Myers-Briggs markers in the past 15 years (from INTJ to ESFP) — not intentionally, but that’s just the way my life played out. I’ve come to see the truth of the matter like this: every human being has a need for socializing, but it takes effort and is exhausting. The amount of e…

Agree! One of the most harmful beliefs about the concept of intro-/extroversion is that it is something you are and not something you do. Many people limit themselves massively because of how they've labeled themselves. Especially in "strong introverts", the label is often used as a convenient excuse for not going through the often painful process of trying to improve their confidence skills and social skills. "I'm a…

I am an introvert with reasonable social skills and a healthy amount of social interaction in my life (3+ nights a week spent with friends). Being an introvert doesn't mean I cannot do or enjoy social things, it means that social things require effort+energy from me and I want an appropriate amount of time spent alone to recharge afterward.

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#144

Post by kristofferR » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:14 PM UTC

bluefirebrand wrote: post #115

kristofferR wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agree! One of the most harmful beliefs about the concept of intro-/extroversion is that it is something you are and not something you do. Many people limit themselves massively because of how they've labeled themselves. Especially in "strong introverts", the label is often used as a convenient excuse for not going through the often painful process of trying to improve their confidence skills and social skills. "I'm a…

Introversion has nothing to do with social skills or confidence. Being an introvert is not the same as being shy or awkward. Introversion is a measure of what effect socializing has on you, and how comfortable you are being alone. Extroverts dislike being alone, Introverts like it. Extroverts feel energized by social interaction, Introverts feel drained by it. That's it. I'm tired of these ignorant "Introverts are ju…

Here's the thing. I used to be an extreme introvert by all standards, and preferred being alone. Social interaction was extremely tiring. Now I'm comfortable both with people and alone.

However, the real question is why it was tiring. It was tiring because I wasn't comfortable, it wasn't second nature. It took extra effort, just like all other the things we do that we aren't good at doing. When it eventually became easier and took less effort, it naturally also became less tiring.

I wish we could just stop with the stupid binary introvert/extrovert terminology. It's on the same pseudo-scientific level as saying people are left-brained or right-brained, people aren't that binary or simple.

If I, 10 years ago, had just said to myself "I'm an introvert, social interactions aren't my thing and they make me tired" I'd likely be significantly less happy than I'm now.

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#145

Post by ravi-delia » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:18 PM UTC

C-x_C-f wrote: post #90

tboyd47 wrote: post #20

There aren’t any measurable elements of personality that are fixed. Personality changes as you age. I’ve witnessed a reversal in each of the Myers-Briggs markers in the past 15 years (from INTJ to ESFP) — not intentionally, but that’s just the way my life played out. I’ve come to see the truth of the matter like this: every human being has a need for socializing, but it takes effort and is exhausting. The amount of e…

It's incredible to me how we see NLP models with billions of parameters struggling to act human even on paper, yet somehow many influential people still claim that the Myers-Briggs type indicator can give predictive value to a 4-bit model of human personality. I get that most people are likely unaware of the measures of complexity involved in these issues, but at the very least I would expect today's intellectual tre…

Myers-Briggs obviously doesn't represent some fundamental truth about how personalities vary, but I'm willing to bet that no matter how you ask people questions about themselves there will be useful conclusions to draw. Certainly some people are more sociable than others, some more detail-oriented than others, and vary on any other traits you care to name. Given that they are all probably hopelessly correlated with each other, and with whatever variables are actually controlling things underneath, it would be difficult to come up with a test that didn't say something.

On a far more speculative note, I bet most of the complex parts of the brain don't vary much between people, or at least don't play into personality much. That's not backed up by anything though, just an idle thought.

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#146

Post by [deleted] » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:26 PM UTC

thrower123 wrote: post #10

The past year has proven how introverted I am. The best days of my life are the ones where I don't see or speak to another human being. Blessed days.

[deleted]

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#147

Post by 0xbadcafebee » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:41 PM UTC

Lol. Just because you're not a social butterfly doesn't mean you're not going to be affected by being locked inside during a global fucking pandemic. Absolutely zero people had a great time the last 16 months. But introverts clearly suffered less than extroverts. This must have been a slow news day.

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#148

Post by 0xbadcafebee » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:43 PM UTC

enriquto wrote: post #22

optimalsolver wrote: post #3

Article doesn't speak for me. You extroverts will never drag me into an office again.

Your words do not correspond to my experience either. The extroverts of my job seem to do fairly well doing WFH, they are able to chain their 1h meetings without pauses in-between, and fill-in their whole time doing extrovert stuff. But not me. I'm a hard-core introvert, and the lockdown has been a nightmare to me! I've felt completely isolated and sad, can't get anything done. Often I have to cancel zoom meetings be…

Don't make it someone else's job to take care of your mental health, man. If you feel that bad you need to deal with the underlying reasons why, not just run back to the office.

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#149

Post by fshr » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:49 PM UTC

TheOtherHobbes wrote: post #96

kristofferR wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agree! One of the most harmful beliefs about the concept of intro-/extroversion is that it is something you are and not something you do. Many people limit themselves massively because of how they've labeled themselves. Especially in "strong introverts", the label is often used as a convenient excuse for not going through the often painful process of trying to improve their confidence skills and social skills. "I'm a…

You could just as well argue that "strong extroverts" are using a convenient excuse to avoid the painful process of not getting to know and appreciate themselves on their own terms. It's certainly true - actually tautological - that introverts are missing social opportunities. Is it impossible that extroverts are missing experiences of equivalent value?

Do you think most introverts are “getting to know and appreciate themselves on their own terms”? I don’t think most people are introspective while alone - not even most introverts.

Re: Introverts didn't 'win' lockdown

#150

Post by Aaargh20318 » Sat, Jul 10, 2021, 7:58 PM UTC

I’m an introvert and the whole lockdown situation has been amazing. Not only could I work from home the entire time, it also meant I could get out of social obligations without feeling guilty or even needing to come up with an excuse. No birthday parties, weddings or office Christmas party to attend.

I feel bad for the people who got sick or who lost someone, but aside from that I wish this pandemic never ended. I’m dreading the return to normality.